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  1. #1
    MembersZone Subscriber MalahatTwo7's Avatar
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    Talking Today's Groaner.....

    More Fun in The Courtroom

    A judge of the US District Court for the Northern District of Texas writes a monthly article for the Texas Bar Journal. Often, he cites unusual exchanges between lawyers and witnesses during trials.

    The following true exchange says it all:

    Lawyer: "So, Doctor, you determined that a gunshot wound was the cause of death of the patient?"

    Doctor: "That's correct."

    Lawyer: "Did you examine the patient when he came to the emergency room?"

    Doctor: "No, I performed the autopsy."

    Lawyer: "OK, were you aware of his vital signs when he was at the hospital?"

    Doctor: "He came into the emergency room in shock and died a short time later."

    Lawyer: "Did you pronounce him dead at that time?"

    Doctor: "No, I am the pathologist who performed the autopsy. I was not involved with the patient initially."

    Lawyer: "Well, are you even sure then, that he died in the emergency room."

    Doctor: "That is what the records indicate."

    Lawyer: "But if you weren't there, how could you have pronounced him dead, having not seen or physically examined the patient at that time?"

    Doctor: "The autopsy showed massive hemorraging in the chest area and that was the cause of death."

    Lawyer: "I understand that, but you were not actually present to examine the patient and pronounce him dead, isn't that right?"

    Doctor: "No, sir, I did not see the patient or actually pronounce him dead, but I did perform an autopsy and right now his brain is in a jar over at the county morgue. As for the rest of the patient, for all I know, HE COULD BE OUT PRACTICING LAW SOMEWHERE!!"
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.


  2. #2
    MembersZone Subscriber pvfire424's Avatar
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    Dah , dum dum , ching !

    we'll be here all week , dont forget to tip your bartenders & your waitresses


  3. #3
    MembersZone Subscriber MalahatTwo7's Avatar
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    Loco madidus effercio in rutilus effercio.
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    Speaking of Lawyers and such, has anyone heard anything more on Mr Moron.. err I mean Moran? Or Mr Baird?
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

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