My best Friend, the "fire fighter"
I have this account, my better half (or Adze) talked me into making it because he thought I'd like some of the posts here. I'll be honest, I've been lazy and havent read any since the week I made the account-- but I have it so I may as well use it. I don't really have anyone else to talk to...so, here I am.
Jordan was my best friend, when we were sophomores in high school she moved to VA with her mom, but we stayed really close, I saw her every christmas, spring and summer vaction and she usually stayed with me...I mean we were joined at the hip. My friendship with her just fell apart and last night I finaly decided that its time to let go. She doesnt care about me, shes not a good friend. She was so fantastic...before she joined a vol. fire department in VA and started to think she was better than me...the unimportant sales girl. She got herself onto this thrown and created this faux "tough girl fire fighter" image...poser is more like it. She slept with her chiefs...all married men....and everyone else...so they let her get away with doing things she didnt have the certs. for...actually, she doesnt really have the cert. to much of anything. I know more about fire fighting than she does...and I have nothing to do with the fire service other than being head over heals in love with my own wonderful FF, adze. Shes the perfect sterotypical example of why a lot of people hate women in the fire service. She plays fire fighter...thats a good why to phrase it. She wears all the Tee shirts, talks the talk, but when it comes down to it, she has no skill, she doesnt know anything...and doesnt do anything...shes never proved herself. She went to AK to study Fire Scince...this of course just added to her image. But anyway....she took on this whole new persona and with it she just walked over me. She always stressed how important and respecatable her job is...expecially since she, after all, is a women in a job that is mostly run by men...shes a hero...I, on the other hand, lead a simple, boring, unimportant life. Actually...domestic is the latest term she used. She never past up a chance to remind me that she's important.she almost looked down on me. But anyway, so she left to AK and made her new friends and forgot me...I talked to her if I called...unless she needed something from me, then shed call, knowing I was nice enough and kind enough to always help whenever she asked...I cant count the times that I've droped everything to help her anyway I could just because she was my "best friend". She made no effort to stay in touch. I still beleived that she cared about me though and that we were best friends, but she has the attitude of "out with the old, in with the new" about friends. ANd Im old...Im boring...Im CT...Im not a ff...im a nobody and dont have much to offer her any more. Well, I held on for a long time...until this week. My birthday was this past monday...she had told me shed come to see me...just for my bday. and she did...for 15 mintues. And she brought with her, a friend from VA where she is for the summer (working as an "emt"- now thats a joke, she slept her way into that one too) and a friend from AK who was staying in MASS...she left so quick because she had to drive him back before it got late. she doesnt see how hurtful this was (I hadnt seen her since december by the way...and talked to her no more than a handful of times...when I contacted her). She thought it was okay because shed take me to dinner the next day-- last night. she did...just the two of us...where she showed me, once and for all...I grew up alot since high school...and she hasnt...shes degressed more than anything and we're going in very different ways...she says Im too "domestic" to "married with kids". we went to the bar after...where her friend from VA came and she and her were so close and snuggly--just like she and I used to be. she left this morning...because "shes just so done with CT"...so, shes so done with me. Im old...i'm not convient for her...im too...three years ago. It hurts, she was my best frined for so long, and we shared so much...we were so close and now it's all gone. I still remeber who she used to be and that what makes it so hard to let go...but theres nothing left of that person. The more I look back, the more I see how much she put me down...and I think about how bad she made me feel...how bad about myself. Worse more...I hate how fake she is...and how she thinks she so grown up and mature. She drinks...a lot...and shes underage...and stupid about it...and obvious...and embarssing about it. I was at the bar with some co workers last year...I invited her to stop in...instead of just walking in and sitting down like she belonged there...she made a big deal about "trying to get in"....she walked in with EMT pants on (which, by the way, she isnt cert. to practice in CT nor does her Vol. FD do EMS), a FD tee shirt....carrying her helment saying she "just got off duty"...thinking if they saw she was a FF then they would assume she was 21. my friends asked I not invite her...she was too obvious...and they were embaressed. Anyway...so I ended a long term friendship and I know in the end it's better for me...but it's hard and it hurts...I dont really have any friends...not really, some people I losley call friends...but anyway...its late, i was out and had a drink or two...which is was got me thinking about her agian...and resulted in this horrifyingly long post.