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  1. #1
    Forum Member StayBack500FT's Avatar
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    Default Slithering bags of monkey crap.... a rant brought to you by WeedEater and Cub Cadet.

    Stuff Magazine reports this month that 15 Americans are killed each year by snakes. I HATE SNAKES!!! Now I know your thinking..what da hell is Stuff Magazine doing reporting on snake related fatalities...I have no clue, but it ******ed me off. Allow me to say that in my world, snakes have no purpose. They are a legless sort and are quite sneaky. You can't talk reason to them, at least a pesky dog will usually scram when yelled at. Snake? NO WAY!! The filth that they are will continue to slither, uneffected. There are no cartoon character snakes...why? Because children are TERRIFIED at the thoughts of them. They are no good for food...I don't see many snake farmers. Even the Duran Duran song "Union of the Snake" made no sense and completely sucked. Some would say..."But they eat mice!!" Hey, if mice ate snakes...THEN we'd have something!! I'll bet 15 people weren't killed by "mouse bites" last year!!! I HATE SNAKES!! Turn a kitten loose in a mall once...watch all the people watch it scamper and laugh, laugh, laugh. Turn a snake loose and watch the people scream and RUN (also watch mall security douse it with the first available dry chemical extinguisher).

    Snakes = lawn mower fodder!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    By the way...I hate snakes.
    May we never forget our fallen, worldwide.

    I.A.C.O.J. Safety/Traffic Control Officer

    E6511

    "Who's Who Among American Teachers" - 2005, 2006 Honoree


  2. #2
    Forum Member stm4710's Avatar
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    Im not afraid of the snake, its just the bite I dont care for!!!
    I dont suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

  3. #3
    Forum Member StayBack500FT's Avatar
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    Just the other day I was watching "Barney" with my 3 year old and listening to that fool expound to children that snakes are "our friends". Oh yeah? Tell me about it when some Boa Constrictor slaps a "death grip" on yer haunches and winds itself up like a kite string around your belly...making yer eyes bug out of yer STUPID, purple skull and compressing every last molecule of sweet, life-giving oxygen out of your crushed chest cavity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH....ttthhheeeennn we'll see who yer friends are, won't we?
    Last edited by StayBack500FT; 07-29-2004 at 11:41 PM.
    May we never forget our fallen, worldwide.

    I.A.C.O.J. Safety/Traffic Control Officer

    E6511

    "Who's Who Among American Teachers" - 2005, 2006 Honoree

  4. #4
    Forum Member RspctFrmCalgary's Avatar
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    Default

    *shudder*


    I'm coming after your ASSS if I have nightmares about snakes tonight!!!
    September 11th - Never Forget

    I respect firefighters and emergency workers worldwide. Thank you for what you do.

    Sheri
    IACOJ CRUSTY CONVENTION CHAIR
    Honorary Flatlander

    RAY WAS HERE FIRST

  5. #5
    Forum Member StayBack500FT's Avatar
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    SEE!!! ANOTHER BELIEVER!!!!! *****points to Respect*****


    FBI WARNING: The use or reproduction of Stayback's *** is prohibited without express written consent of the owner. A self-addressed, stamped envelope must be addressed to Mrs. Stayback, who has owned all aspects (implied or actual) of Stayback's *** since August 20'th 1994. Thank you.

    May we never forget our fallen, worldwide.

    I.A.C.O.J. Safety/Traffic Control Officer

    E6511

    "Who's Who Among American Teachers" - 2005, 2006 Honoree

  6. #6
    Sr. Information Officer NJFFSA16's Avatar
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    Talking I thought I'd snake in this story.....hiss, hiss

    Burmese python found along upstate road

    MOUNT HOPE, N.Y. (AP) - Here's something you don't see every day
    in upstate New York -- a six-foot snake eating a dead woodchuck on
    a road.
    But that's what one motorist reported seeing this week on a road
    in Orange County.
    When police in the town of Mount Hope, near Middletown, arrived
    at the scene, they found a large Burmese python. The officers
    managed to get the snake into a bag and transported it to the
    police station.
    The town's animal control officer says she didn't know what to
    do with the reptile, so she called a local pet store for help. A
    manger put her in touch with a reptile expert in neighboring
    Sullivan County who took the snake back to his home.
    Police say they're received no calls about a missing snake.
    The Burmese python, a native of Southeast Asia, isn't poisonous.
    Proudly serving as the IACOJ Minister of Information & Propoganda!
    Be Safe! Lookouts-Awareness-Communications-Escape Routes-Safety Zones

    *Gathering Crust Since 1968*
    On the web at www.section2wildfire.com

  7. #7
    Forum Member Bones42's Avatar
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    Default

    StayBack, 3 things.

    1) I hate snakes.
    2) Skip the Barney crap
    3) I hate snakes.
    "This thread is being closed as it is off-topic and not related to the fire industry." - Isn't that what the Off Duty forum was for?

  8. #8
    Forum Member martinm's Avatar
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    Stayback....STAAAAYYYBACK....a nd DON'T look in his eyes!!
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    United Kingdom branch, IACOJ.

  9. #9
    Forum Member martinm's Avatar
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    Or this will happen....
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    United Kingdom branch, IACOJ.

  10. #10
    Forum Member firemanpat29's Avatar
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    wasnt it Richard Pryor that had a bit on his stand up routine
    years ago about snakes? the one line I remember is "snakes make
    you run into trees, Two guys walking through the woods one yells
    SNAKE and the other turns around and runs headfirst into a tree"
    follow by richards colorfull language narrative

  11. #11
    IACOJ BOD FlyingKiwi's Avatar
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    Default

    Martin

    R Kiplings "Jungle Book". Damn I was going to search for that snake, one of the funniest parts of the movie.

    who has owned all aspects (implied or actual) of Stayback's *** since August 20'th 1994
    Who had it before then?

    A second hand ***, now thats cheap.
    Psychiatrists state 1 in 4 people has a mental illness.
    Look at three of your friends, if they are ok, your it.

  12. #12
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    Talking

    If you keep away from the snake, then you wont get bitten. snakes rarely attack first. I can understand that many people dont like snakes, and that is their right. But please don kill them, just because you dont like them. Snakes play a very valuable role in our ecology. They also help to keep down the spread of contagious diseases, such as plague and Hantavirus. Because snakes are not warm blooded, they cannot pass on diseases carried by their warm blooded prey.
    Leave them alone and they wont bother you.

  13. #13
    MembersZone Subscriber Ladder8's Avatar
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    Question Snakes?

    Snakes a problem?

    Here ya go...
    Attached Images Attached Images  
    Be safe y'all!
    IACOJ Animal Control
    Ladder 8
    "Quando Omni Flunkus Moritati"

  14. #14
    Forum Member StayBack500FT's Avatar
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    No snakes or Barneys were harmed during the making of this post.


    Kiwi - I'd like to think I owned my *** prior to August 20, 1994.
    May we never forget our fallen, worldwide.

    I.A.C.O.J. Safety/Traffic Control Officer

    E6511

    "Who's Who Among American Teachers" - 2005, 2006 Honoree

  15. #15
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    Default A vote for the snakes

    I'm with Proto. Snakes (and all predators) play an important role in the food chain, so please don't harm them. I used to play with garter snakes all the time as a little kid and was never bitten. (My poor mother was pretty distressed when I took all the Barbie clothes out of my doll closet and put snakes in there-not quite what you expect out of your only daughter.)

    If you hate snakes that much, then you're probably scared of them, or as my husband is fond of saying, "I'm not scared of them. I'm just kind of neutral." Of course, he wouldn't touch one with a ten foot pole. The best thing to do is desensitize yourself by exposing yourself to them. I hated spiders most of my life, but forced myself to catch them rather than kill them. Now I'm actually at the point where I can catch some spiders by hand and let them go. It's a lot better than freaking out every time I see one, and the students in my class love it!

    Now if I could just overcome my fear of flying...

  16. #16
    Forum Member stm4710's Avatar
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    No snakes or Barneys were harmed during the making of this post.
    Liar!!!!!!!! We know its been brewing in you stayback........we just didnt think you were that big a crook.
    I dont suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

  17. #17
    Forum Member firenresq77's Avatar
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    Not a big fan of snakes OR spiders. Caught some big spiders at my house. Not sure what they were, but some say they're wolf spiders. I don't really care what they are, as long as they stay away from me........

  18. #18
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    SPIDERS!!!!!!!


    Snakes I can handle, mean dogs I can handle, just about anything I can handle...........but spiders!!!!! The slightest, smallest creepy crawly spider comes within 10 feet of me and it turns me into a pile of quivering squealing mush

    I'm not talking some girly ewwwwwwwwww a spider.......I'm talking actual terror. I can't even kill one without a half a roll of toilet paper or half a box of kleenex. God help me if I don't kill it by throwing the shoe at it from 5 feet away
    IACOJ

  19. #19
    Forum Member StayBack500FT's Avatar
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    LadyCap'n - Great mental image!! ROTFLMAO!!!


    I realize the slithering creeps play an important part...it's actually when our worlds collide that cause me a problem. They don't bark, meow or screech...they just sssslllliiiitttthhhheeeerrrr.

    HELL YES I'M SCARED OF THEM!!!! Rather have my head shut in a car door than touch one.
    May we never forget our fallen, worldwide.

    I.A.C.O.J. Safety/Traffic Control Officer

    E6511

    "Who's Who Among American Teachers" - 2005, 2006 Honoree

  20. #20
    Forum Member StayBack500FT's Avatar
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    To put this in perspective....

    If a nude Jessica Simpson approached me with a "Take me, Stayback" tattoo on her belly, holding free Steeler season tickets in one hand, a bucket of hot wings in the other...flanked by Faith Hill and Shania Twain, Faith covered with homemade sauerkraut and Shania with a winning Powerball ticket in her cleavage and they all had snakes at their feet.....sorry dude, I'm GONE!!!!!
    May we never forget our fallen, worldwide.

    I.A.C.O.J. Safety/Traffic Control Officer

    E6511

    "Who's Who Among American Teachers" - 2005, 2006 Honoree

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