1. #1
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    Talking Funniest open mic incident

    We once had a two man crew on a standby at a county fair motorcycle race. One of the guys had a walkie on his hip while they were sitting in the front of the rig watching the race. He had leaned over to rest on the center console and inadvertently keyed up his walkie. Now mind you we have a repeater system so all over our county & out in scanner land everyone got to hear " crew 1-Have you seen how wide Tina's butt is getting. crew 2--- Yea she should put a wide load sign on that thing! "

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    two seperate firehouses... same department. This particular dispatch brings firehouse A past firehouse B.... The whole way, all you hear is..." hurry up, drive faster we're gonna beat them out the door...etc." Sounded real professional.

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    AIDE: "Hey chief, the dispatcher wants a progress report."
    CHIEF: "Okay, just give me one second."
    AIDE: "Dispatch, by orders of the Chief in charge, transmit a second alarm."


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    Part 2:

    Driver has to back out of a street. Members go to the rear of the rig to clear traffic. There is a car directly behind the rig, out of sight of the driver.

    Guideman 1 keys his mic to tell the driver to hold on. As he keys his mic, guide man 2 yells to the cars driver "BACK UP". Chauffuer hears "BACK UP" on the radio and.......

    True story, I wrote the accident report myself.

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    Hey E229Lt..ever hear about a Manhatten Disp... the aide called for one Engine and one Truck and they sent Engine 1 and Ladder 1 ?? Dont know if its true or not. Also a dispatcher asked Chief his status and he said..:"well Im going through a divorce so I guess Im 10-8." I did hear one I think it was New Years Eve 1999, the aide or Chief request a 2nd alarm, just after midnight..."did that ball drop in Times Square yet?? " Disp. replied yes..." then transmit the 2nd alarm" heard that one myself.

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    "f*cking ****** bag" over the east band of the county...
    Bucks County, PA.

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    There was once a massive fire in a place I won't elaborate upon, but it was big enough that the dispatching crews 'doubled up' on the consoles. The second person on the console was connected to the auxiliary headset jack as well, so they could hear the communications and offer advice, etc.

    At one point in this fire, the chief on scene asked for one of the crash trucks from the airport, figuring their foam cannon would help out.

    At the same time on the same channel, you would have heard:

    Dispatcher: "Roger, we'll call the airport and see what we can do."

    Secondary: "Hoooooooooly Sh"

    --jay.

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    Overheard while listening to Air Traffic Control for Mangere Auckland (many moons ago)

    Private plane came on ATC channel, no call sign just the following.

    "What is the time."

    ATC comes back, calm quiet voice. (it was RUSH HOUR for international landings)

    "If you fly for Air New Zealand, it is 1750 hours.

    If you fly for Quantas it is 5.50 pm

    If you fly for United Airlines, Mickeys big hand....."


    Stunned silence on channel for 30 seconds followed.
    Psychiatrists state 1 in 4 people has a mental illness.
    Look at three of your friends, if they are ok, your it.

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    hear cursing on the radio all the time

    "GET THE F*CK OUT OF THAT BUILDING" etc. etc. its great when you listen to your scanner...
    FTM-PTB/Leather Forever

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    Funniest keyed mike:

    Engine crew and truck crew along with a Chief are inside a house looking for the source of a smoke odor.Engine driver and Truck driver are setting in the cab of the engine shooting the bull,keeping warm.Engine driver has a very distinctive voice.

    Mike gets keyed,Engine drivers voice "My wife always makes me keep a can of whipped cream in the house"

    Chief says "go tell that idiot his mike is open before we all get transfered"

    Engine driver " It's not what you think,she keeps it for the dog....."

    Umm,too late Chief.




    Intentional reports:

    Get send on a smoke odor,not too far away from where other companies were operating at a structure fire.The Chief's report: "Smoke from a distant fire".

    Same Chief,same nite: Reported fire at a mom and pop.Turns out to be an electrical fire in a Marlboro Cigarette sign.Chief's report: "Cigarette sign smoking".

    Great Chief.

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    Wink File this under T.M.I.

    Back in my earlier days when I was in EMS, I was on a night shift when my partner and I spent about 15 min in the rig listening to a fascinating conversation. Apparently a couple of our female coworkers were gossiping and one rested against the PTT button. We (the whole fleet) got to hear about all of our coworkers she had "been with" and a list of those she would like to "be with" including the sordid things she would like to do to them! This lady already had a reputation...this didn't help.

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    Default Re: File this under T.M.I.

    Originally posted by SAFD46Truck
    Back in my earlier days when I was in EMS, I was on a night shift when my partner and I spent about 15 min in the rig listening to a fascinating conversation. Apparently a couple of our female coworkers were gossiping and one rested against the PTT button. We (the whole fleet) got to hear about all of our coworkers she had "been with" and a list of those she would like to "be with" including the sordid things she would like to do to them! This lady already had a reputation...this didn't help.
    Bet there were a few red faces when certain names got mentioned!
    September 11th - Never Forget

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    Pulling up in the ladder truck in front of a Catholic school for a fire prevention event. Front doors are open. I'm in the jumpseat,and notice that our exhaust is 8 feet from the doors. We had just gotten Firecom headsets and I tell the LT we're blowing exhaust into the school. He pushes the wtrong button and says ' F#ck the little bast%$ds, let 'em suck fumes"-Did I mention we have speakers for the radio on the pump panel? If anyone heard it at the school they didn't say anything-but dispatch did.

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    From my police work, not the fire service, where we have just gone digital with a "private" point to point system for talking between units, without us being involved...

    One of our traffic patrols driving around the nightclub district of the city, where the ladies like to shall we say, dress in "revealing attire".

    Radio system goes live to the shouted sounds of one car crew thinking they are talking to their colleagues in another car in the same street..."Have you seen the size of the t***s on her???!!!
    United Kingdom branch, IACOJ.

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    Originally posted by martinm
    Radio system goes live to the shouted sounds of one car crew thinking they are talking to their colleagues in another car in the same street...
    We have a similar radio system here in our area, it's an MPT-1327 analog trunk, but has a private call feature. A lot of the users (public works, EMS, and Fire) seem to think "private call" = "no one will ever hear me except the person I'm sending to". Imagine what it sounds like on the scanner, which receives it as regular conventional traffic.
    --jay.

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    I was showing a new guy one time how the P.A. on the Engine worked, but much to my dismay, I had the radio mic... yea...good thing no one but dispatch was listening. I saved face by calling for a radio check when she came back.
    Last edited by KEEPBACK200FEET; 12-06-2004 at 10:49 AM.

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    Back when we had low band lots of stuff went on late at night. Then they had no way to ID the radio and on one late night fund raiser somebody was doing something in the front seat of thier pick-up on top of the mike. The girl sounded like she was having a realgood time!

    Heard one of the guys talking about the same thing happened and the girl called the guys name. He was well known in the county at the time. Anyway his rep. was bumped up a notch or two after that.

    We used to have allot of radio players also. We had one kid in the community that was into HAM big and had all the equipment in his truck. He got caught in the next county over calling the police chief names over the police freq. He can't have a radio anymore. HA!
    "Illegitimis non carborundum."

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    (Lat., "Don't let the *~#%&S grind you down.")

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    Default on a cold snowy day....

    Proper radio term after a run (and you're leaving the scene) is "Engine ### returning to quarters".

    So, it's a cold snowy day last winter, and we had just finished up a medical run. It so happens that one of our guys was working part time as a dispatcher today. Once we all get in the rig....

    LT: Engine ## clear.

    DISPATCHER: Copy, Engine ## clear, 1300 hours. [short pause] Clear and.....what? are you available? Are you returning? Are you just sitting there doing nothing? What the hell are you doing?

    ME: Engine ##, we were sitting here doing nothing, but now we're gonna' return!

    DISPATCHER: Uhhhhhh...Copy that.

    We gave that guy a bit of crap later on!
    "The more we sweat in training, the less we bleed in battle."

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    There's a certain someone I know whose 3 and 4 year old boys got into his truck one day and decided to play with his mobile radio. They somehow figured out how to change the channel to the county's main Fire Band and started talking.......... "201 to dispatch. Dispatch this is 201"

    I missed it, but people were calling me at work to see if I was listening. he got calls from all over the county on that one........

  20. #20
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    Bigwood Apts, 3 Alarm trash can mo-fo, the decapitation episode, ..there have got to be others .....
    IACOJ both divisions and PROUD OF IT !
    Pardon me sir.. .....but I believe we are all over here !
    ATTENTION ALL SHOPPERS: Will the dead horse please report to the forums.(thanks Motown)
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    I'm sorry, I haven't been paying much attention for the last 3 hours.....what were we discussing?
    "but I guarentee you I will FF your arse off" from>
    http://www.firehouse.com/forums/show...60#post1137060post 115

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    Originally posted by firenresq77
    There's a certain someone I know whose 3 and 4 year old boys got into his truck one day and decided to play with his mobile radio. They somehow figured out how to change the channel to the county's main Fire Band and started talking.......... "201 to dispatch. Dispatch this is 201"

    I missed it, but people were calling me at work to see if I was listening. he got calls from all over the county on that one........
    Had a similiar one..

    "Capital West from PersonXYZ"

    "Capital West, go ahead"

    "Send fire and EMS to (address) for a two car motor vehicle accident. I'm on scene there at this time."

    Dispatch put out the tones, people were responding. The guy ran out and took his radio from his kid.

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    I was working as a part time dispatcher earlier this year and an ambulance hit a dog in the street while transporting a patient to the hospital. The dogs owner was watching the whole thing.
    I called the medics at the hospital and told them that the animal control could not identify the owner and that meant that the rescue crew would need to take responsiblity for the injured animal until it passed on or lived. Needless to say they were not happy about that idea.
    In the dispatch we have a PA button for the local full-time FD. It is like talking on the radio, except it only broadcasts over thier PA system.
    Once the ambulance called back into the firehouse I let it sit for a while....
    I found "Who let the dogs out" on the internet. I started to play it REALLY loud over their PA.
    Weeks later they still had not figgered out who done it. But they still laugh about it everytime I bring it up.

    Another, not open mic, but on air... this happened at my work.
    Dispatch: Engine ### your responding to an auto/ped. 50 year old female, concious, breathing, alert, walking around holding her head.
    Engine Officer: Dispatch, is she holding her head? Is her head still attached then?

    *Mark
    FTM-PTB-RFB-EGH

  23. #23
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    Here are three that I am familair with:

    #1 - Small town volunteer fire department I was on would take the trucks out to "exercise" them if we had no runs during the previous week or two. Two guys are in the truck having a conversation about the very attractive dispatcher who just happened to be on duty at the time. Of course, they were not aware that one of them was actually sitting on the microphone and that she was hearing all of the details about what they would like to do with her if they could be sure their wives didn't find out. Adding to embarassment was the problems the guy sitting on the microphone was having after he apparently had a meal that included beans and cooked cabbage.

    #2 - This one was mine.... I was working as a dispatcher (for the same small town) on night shift. We had recenlty installed a new radio console that had a foot pedal microphone switch that we had never had before. Usually this was stowed out of the way, but the dispatcher before me decided to play with it and left it under the console. I was having a rather heated discussion with a firefighter who was visiting telling him about how much I did not agree with the way the police chief (who was my boss) did things. The conversation ended abruptly when the duty sergeant ran in and informed me that my foot was on the microphone pedal and that the entire county was aware of how I felt. Of course everything was recored on tape as well, so I got reminded frequently about how I had a bad attitude.

    #3 - Not as good as the first two, but during an OPEN HOUSE at my current fire department, we were doing door prize drawings. One of our former members was having a ball using the PA system on one of the truck's sirens to adlib a stand-up comic routine as he would call out ticket numbers. He cut his act short later in the event when he grabbed the radio microphone by mistake and broadcast to the county some humorous details about some members of our department.
    Richard Nester
    Orrville (OH) Fire Dept.

    "People don't care what you know... until they know that you care." - Scott Bolleter

  24. #24
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    Had a deputy assisting with traffic control on an accident caused by icy roads. He was calling on the radio to get the ETA of highway patrol, he keyed his mic and was almost hit by a semi truck that lost control. All dispatch heard was "Durango La Plata 508....Slow the F*** down"

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