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  1. #1
    MembersZone Subscriber nozzelvfd's Avatar
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    Jan 2003
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    Cool Rank Definitions

    RANK DEFINITIONS FOR A

    FIRE DEPARTMENT

    Chief: Leaps short buildings with a single bound. Is more powerful than a ladder truck. Is faster than a speeding bullet. Walks on water. Gives policy to God.

    Assistant Chief: Leaps short buildings with a single bound. Is more powerful than a pumper. Is just as fast as a speeding bullet. Walks on water if sea is calm. talks with god.

    Deputy Chief: Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds. Is almost as powerful as a pumper. Is faster than a speeding BB. Walks on water in indoor swimming pools. Talks with God if special request is approved.

    Engineer: Makes high marks on buildings when trying to leap them. Is run over by a pumper. Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury. dog paddles in swimming pools. Talks with animals.

    Captain: Runs into buildings when trying to leap them. Recognizes pumpers two out of three times. Is not allowed to use guns. Can stay afloat if properly instructed in the use of a life jacket. Talks to walls.

    Lieutenant: Falls over doorsteps when trying to enter buildings. Points and says, "look at the pretty fire engine". Wets himself with a water pistol. Plays in mud puddles. mumbles to himself.

    Firefighter: Lifts buildings and walks under them. Kicks fire engines and equipment out of his way. Catches speeding bullets in his teeth and eats them. freezes water with a single glance. He is God.
    You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the duct tape.


  2. #2
    District Chief distchief60b's Avatar
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    Default

    SEARCH SEARCH......this has floated around before!
    09-11 .. 343 "All Gave Some..Some Gave ALL" God Bless..R.I.P.
    ------------------------------
    IACOJ Minister of Southern Comfort
    "Purple Hydrant" Recipient (3 Times)
    BMI Investigator
    ------------------------------
    The comments, opinions, and positions expressed here are mine. They are expressed respectfully, in the spirit of safety and progress. They do not reflect the opinions or positions of my employer or my department.

  3. #3
    Forum Member RyanEMVFD's Avatar
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    Why? It's not like you're going to visit me! But I'm near Waco, Texas
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    Default Re: Rank Definitions

    Originally posted by nozzelvfd
    Firefighter: Lifts buildings and walks under them. Kicks fire engines and equipment out of his way. Catches speeding bullets in his teeth and eats them. freezes water with a single glance. He is God.
    Are you sure this isn't a probie?
    NREMT-P\ Reserve Volunteer Firefighter\Reserve Police Officer
    IACOJ Attack

    Experts built the Titanic, amateurs built the Ark.

  4. #4
    Forum Member Dave1983's Avatar
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    Oct 2003
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    Default

    Probie:

    Cant find the building
    Wonders why that pumper has a ladder on top
    Plays with cap guns
    Likes to blow bubbles
    Speaks only when spoken too

    Fire Marshal/Safety Officer

    IAAI-NFPA-IAFC/VCOS-Retired IAFF

    "No his mind is not for rent, to any god or government"
    RUSH-Tom Sawyer

    Success is when skill meets opportunity
    Failure is when fantasy meets reality

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