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  1. #1
    IACOJ BOD FlyingKiwi's Avatar
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    Default Dumb and Dumber. Darwin Lives.

    Subject: Quiz answers......sortof


    The Weakest Link, BBC1/BBC2
    Anne Robinson: In traffic, what "J" is where two roads meet?
    Contestant: Jool carriageway.

    Anne Robinson: Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius?
    Contestant: Bombay.

    Robinson: What insect is commonly found hovering above lakes?
    Contestant: Crocodiles.
    Robinson: Wh...?
    Contestant (interrupting): Pass!

    Anne Robinson: In olden times, what were minstrels -- traveling
    entertainers or chocolate salesmen?
    Contestant: Chocolate salesmen.

    Robinson: The Bible, the New Testament. The Four Gospels were written
    by Matthew, Mark, Luke and...?
    Contestant: (long pause) Joe?

    National Lottery Jet Set, BBC1
    Eamonn Holmes: What's the name of the playwright commonly known by the
    initials G.B.S.?
    Contestant: William Shakespeare.
    (Try George Bernard Shaw you FOOL)

    Chris Searle Show, BBC Radio Bristol
    Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?
    Caller: Japan.
    Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear
    that, I can let you try again.
    Caller: Er... Mexico?

    Family Fortunes, ITV
    Les Dennis: Name something sold by gypsies.
    Contestant: Bananas.

    The Afternoon Programme Quiz, ABC 774
    Presenter: Who killed **** Robin?
    Contestant: Oh God, I didn't even know he was dead.

    Lincs FM phone-in
    Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
    Contestant: Barcelona.
    Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
    Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain.

    Steve Wright Show, Radio 2
    Wright: On which continent would you find the River Danube?
    Contestant: India.

    Wright: The leader of the orchestra plays which musical instrument?
    Contestant: The baton.

    Wright: What is the Italian word for motorway?
    Contestant: Expresso.

    Wright: What is the capital of Australia? And it's not Sydney.
    Contestant: Sydney.

    Wright: What was the animal referred to in Val Doonican's song Paddy
    McGinty's...??
    Contestant: I don't know.
    Wright: It begins with a "G".
    Contestant: Cow.

    This Morning, ITV
    Judy Finnegan: The American TV show The Sopranos is about opera true or false?
    Contestant: Er -- true.
    Finnegan: No, actually, it's about the Mafia. But it is an American TV show, so I'll give you that.

    BBC Radio Newcastle
    Paul Wappat: How long did the Six Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
    Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.

    Bob Hope Birthday Quiz, LBC
    Presenter: Bob Hope was the fifth of how many sons?
    Contestant: Four.

    BBC GMR, Phil Wood Show
    Wood: What "K" could be described as the Islamic Bible?
    Contestant: Er...
    Wood: It's got two syllables... Kor...
    Contestant: Blimey?
    Wood: Ha ha ha ha no. The past participle of run...
    Contestant: (Silence)
    Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I...
    Contestant: Walked?

    Daryl's Drivetime, Virgin Radio
    Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
    Contestant: Holland?
    Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
    Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?
    Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?
    Contestant: No.

    Allegedly real answers given to Larry Gogan on the Just a Minute Quiz
    on 2FM:
    1) Something a blind man might use? A Sword
    2) A Song with the word Moon in the title? Blue Suede Moon
    3) Name the Capital of France? F
    (Capital not Capitol you moron)
    4) Name a bird with a long Neck? Naomi Campbell
    5) Name an occupation where you might need a torch? A burglar
    6) Where is the Taj Mahal? Opposite the Dental Hospital
    7) What is Hitlers first name ? Heil
    8) A famous Scotsman? Jock
    9) Some famous brothers ? Bonnie and Clyde.
    10) A dangerous race ? The Arabs
    11) Something that floats in a bath ? Water
    12) An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers? A horse
    13) Something you wear on a beach ? A deckchair
    14) A famous Royal ? Mail
    15) Something that flies that doesn't have an engine? A bicycle with
    wings
    Psychiatrists state 1 in 4 people has a mental illness.
    Look at three of your friends, if they are ok, your it.


  2. #2
    Forum Member Dave1983's Avatar
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    Default

    ROFLMFAO
    Fire Marshal/Safety Officer

    IAAI-NFPA-IAFC/VCOS-Retired IAFF

    "No his mind is not for rent, to any god or government"
    RUSH-Tom Sawyer

    Success is when skill meets opportunity
    Failure is when fantasy meets reality

  3. #3
    Forum Member martinm's Avatar
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    Default

    Ahh Ian, the classics of UK quiz shows!

    The funniest one from Family Fortunes (where the real question was how did these people surrvive childhood and continue to procreate?!)



    Les Dennis. "Name a clothing article beginning with B".

    Conestant. "My jumper".

    United Kingdom branch, IACOJ.

  4. #4
    Forum Member CommDiva's Avatar
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    Default

    Name the Capital of France? F That's Capital, not Capitol, you Moron
    Actually, Capitol is NOT correct...that refers to the edifice in Washington, DC. So, Capital is correct, only it should be used with a lower case 'c'.

    But the rest?...wonderful examples of our educational systems, eh?

    Pat
    Communications Diva of the IACOJ, and proud member of the WOT!


    Bagpipes: They put the fun back in funerals!!

  5. #5
    MembersZone Subscriber
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    Talking

    the real question was how did these people surrvive childhood and continue to procreate?!)
    Thanks Ian, I almost fell off my chair laughing. Martin, that is the scary part, these people are out there reproducing.

  6. #6
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    Default

    Kiwi, funny post. LMAO!---BTW,it's too busy NOT to busy.

  7. #7
    IACOJ BOD FlyingKiwi's Avatar
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    OK

    I wus wunce edumacated in skool. Da teechurs did a dam good job. Ma peerants kuld not have done gooder if they tryd.

    My only problum was mafs, I kuld not add numbas for shyte.

    Othawise I woulda gon ta unavarsity.
    Psychiatrists state 1 in 4 people has a mental illness.
    Look at three of your friends, if they are ok, your it.

  8. #8
    Senior Member
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    Default

    Sorry, Kiwi, No offense meant! I tried to email and private message you but you don't allow them. I thought it was a funny post and the appropriate time to point out your signature, I'm to busy, should be I'm too busy.

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