I am absolutely certain...
...that my house knows when the Hubby isn't home. It bide's it's time then dumb stuff happens. These incidents are true. Case(s) in point:
1) Hubby is snowed in an hour's drive away. Frigid temps with blinding snow. Young child with a nasty cold. It is a given that the furnace motor will seize when all the local businesses have shut down and it's late at night. (Now Hubby knows why I insisted that any house we owned would have a high efficiency fireplace. That puppy sure came in handy.)
2) Before leaving on a long weekend, your doorknob will separate from the door for no apparent reason. When the doorknob is re-installed the door will no longer match up with the slot for the deadbolt. (Ya, go figure!) Your Hubby will already be at the Lake relaxing with no way to be contacted. Because he insisted that it was the only way to attain complete relaxation. (For Who?!?!?!?) Both parties now have cell phones!
3) The afternoon before leaving for the FC conference the wife will arrive home to find a noxious smell of hot plastic. Occasionally there will be a ferocious noise that will quit just as she gets close to the source. The (fed-up) wife will discover the noise is coming from the doorchimes. As she opens the breaker box to flip the switch it will trigger itself thereby ever-so-slightly freaking her out. Finished with freaking out, the wife shall decide to remove the cover of the door chimes and stare at the 2 white and 1 red wire before disconnecting them and calling the Hubby. He is once again unavailable and the electrician has left for the day. The wife has decided to calm herself by typing this post on the computer.
#3 will be resolved when the Hubby comes home. He will get dinner, a smooch and led directly to the door chimes. Said Husband will shake his head, grin and make some comment to the effect that it could only happen to the wife. The wife shall attempt to restrain herself from hitting the husband because then, for sure, the flipping door chimes will not get fixed! I swear, this house just KNOWS when the Hubby isn't home because it doesn't do this weird stuff when he's putzing around the house.
I hope you have enjoyed this post. I did not particularly enjoy the experiences at the time, but I DO have a sense of humour so go ahead and have a laugh on me! :D