Thread: Women Drivers

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    Exclamation Women Drivers

    @$$%$#@ Women Drivers!!!


    Here's a little humor for your day!

    This morning on I-5, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new Cadillac doing 65 mph with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner.


    I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup.


    As a man, I don't scare easily. But she scared me so much; I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the donut out of my other hand.


    In all the confusion of trying straighten out the car using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my cell phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee between my legs, splashed, and burned Big Jim and the Twins, ruined the damn phone, soaked my trousers,
    and disconnected an important call.




    Damn women drivers!


    Stay Safe and Well Out There....

    Always remembering 9-11-2001 and 343+ Brothers

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    LOL Not to be insulting, but sounds like California to me!

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    Originally posted by JoJobrat
    LOL Not to be insulting, but sounds like California to me!

    That is where the I-5 is!!
    Stay Safe and Well Out There....

    Always remembering 9-11-2001 and 343+ Brothers

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    FOC-ROF-LMAO! I've seen enough on the "5" from the windows of a semi truck to know these things happen. (I hope the "Boys" are ok after their swim )

    **just for geninfo: the I-5 is "good" from Seattle to San Diego.**
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    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

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    I think you should find her and make her pay for your phone. This menace should not be aloud on the road. What is the world coming to?

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    Originally posted by MalahatTwo7

    **just for geninfo: the I-5 is "good" from Seattle to San Diego.**
    It kinda sucks between Eugene and Medford.
    IAFF

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    Originally posted by snowball


    It kinda sucks between Eugene and Medford.
    AMEN to that one! I actually found the worst part of the drive to be over Grant's Pass. Seems like forever.
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

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    How dare she interupt your shave. What nerve...

    Remindes me of a girl I used to date. We where going to a party, but she wanted to take her car as she was staying at a friends house after the party. When we left her moms place, she had on jeans, sandles and a t-shirt. When we got to the party, she had on a dress with heels AND pantyhose and had her make-up done. I asked her where she had stopped off, she said "I didnt stop anyplace"
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    Saw a guy eating a bowl of Froot Loops (milk, spoon and all) and steering with his knees on the Deerfoot Trail one day. (Multi-lane roadway.) Then another guy reading a newspaper over his steering wheel. (Same road)

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    Mother of God !!!!!!!! That would take some talent to perform those acts on the Deerfoot .....

    First time I ever drove that I read the speed limit, then quickly realized that I had to go at least 20-30 KM over just to stay with the flow of the traffic and not cause an accident for going to slow

    Now I actually like driving on it when I'm there.
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    Pulled up next to a women at a traffic light one time, she was putting here makup on, I signed to roll down the window...

    I proceed to say "I wouldn't bother it doesn't help"

    Well, she just waved with a single finger gesture and drove away.

    No sense of humor.
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    Originally posted by sbfdco1
    Pulled up next to a women at a traffic light one time, she was putting here makup on, I signed to roll down the window...

    I proceed to say "I wouldn't bother it doesn't help"

    Well, she just waved with a single finger gesture and drove away.

    No sense of humor.
    Lucky, around here it's not a finger waved but a gun sometimes.
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    Talking Jim and the Twins

    As said before I would hunt her down for the trouble she has caused to Jim and the Twins. Not to mention the cost of a new doughnut and a cup of coffee.
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    PFire: I didn't say he was performing them well... I like driving the Deerfoot too. Right now, they're battling out whether to have an anti-cellphone-while-driving law. I think that eating, smoking, and disciplining children is just as hazardous, and that all of these are already covered under the whole bit about "driving without due care..."

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    Not to sound like an insensitive woman, but I have not laughed so hard in my life. Hope you're ok.

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    These stories remind me of the (true) tale from one of the motorcyclists at work, who was sitting on the slip road to the motorway running through our city, monitoring the traffic during the morning rush hour a few years ago.

    As he was watching the traffic, which was almost nose to tail, he noticed a driver crawling along, eating a slice of toast, with some other slices on a plate on the dashboard in front of the steering wheel.

    When he found a spot to do so he pulled over the driver and began to ask him why he was eating his breakfast while driving the vehicle. The driver replied that he had slept in and was late for a meeting and had got his wife to make the toast for him so he could at least get somthing to eat on his way. After giving the driver a short lecture about needing to concentrate on the driving and the road etc, the driver was allowed on his way.

    As he was getting into his car again, the bike cop called out to him again, at which the driver got a little "ticked off" and asked "what is it this time?" "Oh, not much", says the cop, "I just wanted to ask if you knew you were still wearing your slippers..."
    United Kingdom branch, IACOJ.

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    I used to know a medic that could put on lipstick while driving emergency traffic to a scene.
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    As a born and bred Californian who spent most summers in Portland, Oregon I am very much aware of I-5. Though being blond I do tend to suffer from lapes.

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    I had my fair share of bad drivers today.
    1. sitting at a stoplight (without turn arrows) waiting to turn left. Woman behind me in a suburban is honking her horn and yelling to move it. Well the only problem is that there is still oncoming traffic (about 23 cars to be exact).

    2. travelinv north on US 69 Alt. I am in the outside lane, passing 87th street. Some woman in the inside lane decides that she is going to pull infront of me and slam on her brakes and try to get into the exit ramp.

    3. Driving at Johnson County Community College. I was traveling up to a 4way stopsign. I stopped, checked to see if there were any cars that looked like they wernt going to stop. I start to make my left turn and a woman in a suburban on a cellphone guns it and runs the stopsign. I thought that I should of just gone, She would of hit me and would have been responsible for all costs and medical insurance.

    4. I was sitting at another traffic light and behind me was a woman in a honda accord. On her cellphone. The light had left turn arrows, but i got screwed because I didnt trip the sensors in time. So I didnt get green arrow. Just a red light. So the woman is honking and flashing here lights, yelling just run the dam thing. I swear if I had a million dollars and could get away with it. I would have put my 5500lb van in reverse and just shove her 20 feet back. But that is illegal and i didnt have a million dollars, so I didnt do it.

    I was flippin mad by the end of the day.
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