Thread: First deaths.

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    Default First deaths.

    I just to day had my first auto wreck with a death. I do not feel sad or anything, I just feel twiested inside, but this also makes me want to help more, and work on being a better fire fight. I was wanting to know how all of you get over, and any tipes too.

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    If you are having any problems dealing with this fatality you need to talk it over with other members of your FD. You should also have been offered critical incident stess debriefing. Ask your chief about CISD, it is free and Is a great way to help you deal with it.
    Do not bottle it up get help if you don't it will just eat away at you more and more as time goes on

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    Remember, you did not cause the fire, you did not cause the car wreck,and you did not cause that person or persons problem. You are not part of the problem you are part of the solution. You're there to help as best you can. There will be times when you won't be able to do what you wanted or needed..but more often there will be times when you can and will do something that will make a difference in someone's life even save it. Even though they try family members might not be the best to talk with because they don't experience what we do. Sometimes members of your department are the best to unwind with because they can relate.

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    I've learned over time that sometimes a good cry is all it takes. You can keep the emotions bottled up for hours, days or even weeks and they may eat at you. But a just let a good cry happen and it may all fade away. Just my 2 cents. It's what works for me.

    Mike

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    I just look at it this way .,.... People die. Sometimes our best just isn't good enough and it simply boils down to being their time to go. Also, what would have their quality of life been had they survived? I sometimes think that those who don't make it are truly better off than they would have been had they survived.

    I have been accused of being cold and twisted, however I sleep at night so this attitude works for me.
    To the world you might be one person, but to one person you just might be the world.

    IACOJ-WOT proud

    GO WHITE SOX!!!!!

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    Regamortis, there are as many ways to deal with these feelings as there are people, as indicated by the replies. The debriefing, and talking about it with your company comes first, and then you'll come to terms with it at your own pace, and in your own way.
    We also have a member who says it doesn't bother him, and he will tell us 100 times how much it doesn't bother him.When he stops bringing up how it doesn't bother him, that's how we know that he has sorted it out. It's just his way of dealing with it.
    As mentioned already, don't let it bottle up.

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    The fact that you are bothered by your first loss just proves your human! People will make it when you think they wont, and they will die even when you've done everything possible to help them live.All you can do is keep improveing your skills, become the best emt-b, emt-i, emt-p, that you can be. Nobody has the power of god to decide who live or dies. All you can do is give them a fighting chance, talk to the senior guys you work with and ask how they deal with it. They have all been there, done that, everybody has there own way of dealing with grief and they should help you learn to deal with it. You'll find no greater joy when somewhere down the road somebody that you treated (that you didn't think was going to make it)comes up to you and thanks you and your crew for your help! Keep plugging kid they have no chance at all if we dont give it to em.
    Last edited by hffd23m2; 05-15-2005 at 04:53 PM.

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    thanks guys, i have also been talking to my sgt. and lt. i again thank for you help.

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    if you feel all twisted inside .........why the "cool" screen name ? I think you are really gving us the jazz.........and in case you werent sure it is rigor mortis......
    IACOJ both divisions and PROUD OF IT !
    Pardon me sir.. .....but I believe we are all over here !
    ATTENTION ALL SHOPPERS: Will the dead horse please report to the forums.(thanks Motown)
    RAY WAS HERE 08/28/05
    LETHA' FOREVA' ! 010607
    I'm sorry, I haven't been paying much attention for the last 3 hours.....what were we discussing?
    "but I guarentee you I will FF your arse off" from>
    http://www.firehouse.com/forums/show...60#post1137060post 115

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