Like Tree5Likes

Thread: Thread killer

  1. #2526
    MembersZone Subscriber
    MalahatTwo7's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    Loco madidus effercio in rutilus effercio.
    Posts
    12,837

    Default

    BEHAVE? Thats like a two syllable word isn't it? LOL
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

  2. #2527
    Forum Member
    jerrygarcia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    KC
    Posts
    630

    Default

    And now for something completely different......................

    Thread Killer Extraordinaire!

  3. #2528
    55 Years & Still Rolling
    hwoods's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    Glenn Dale Md, Heart of the P.G. County Fire Belt....
    Posts
    10,740

    Talking Yeah.............

    Quote Originally Posted by superchef
    Take care everyone and stay safe. Try and behave yourselves while I am away (if that is possible for a house full of firefighters that is).

    It's Not ........
    Never use Force! Get a Bigger Hammer.
    In memory of
    Chief Earle W. Woods, 1912 - 1997
    Asst. Chief John R. Woods Sr. 1937 - 2006

    IACOJ Budget Analyst

    I Refuse to be a Spectator. If I come to the Game, I'm Playing.

    www.gdvfd18.com

  4. #2529
    MembersZone Subscriber
    rualfire's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    Strathmore, Alberta, Canada
    Posts
    444

    Default Engineers' Conversion Table

    For all you engineering types. This is pretty heavy scientific stuff... converting units:

    1. Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi

    2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton

    3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope

    4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond

    5. Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram

    6. Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knotfurlong

    7. 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Sterling

    8. Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon

    9. 1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz

    10. Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower

    11. Shortest distance between two jokes = A straight line

    12. 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake

    13. 1 million microphones = 1 megaphone

    14. 2 million bicycles = 2 megacycles

    15. 365.25 days = 1 unicycle

    16. 2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds

    17. 52 cards = 1 decacards

    18. 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 FigNewton

    19. 1000 milliliters of wet socks = 1 literhosen

    20. 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche

    21. 1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin

    22. 10 rations = 1 decoration

    23. 100 rations = 1 C-ration

    24. 2 monograms = 1 diagram

    25. 4 nickels = 2 paradigms

    26. 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 IV League

    27. 100 Senators = Not 1 decision
    SRFD905 - Serving since 1998

    *~-|EGH|FTM|-~*

  5. #2530
    MembersZone Subscriber
    MalahatTwo7's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    Loco madidus effercio in rutilus effercio.
    Posts
    12,837

    Default

    Alright you Rotton Bugger! I was in the middle of swallowing coffee when I read the first line...... Very nearly had a wet keyboard!!!
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

  6. #2531
    MembersZone Subscriber
    rualfire's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    Strathmore, Alberta, Canada
    Posts
    444

    Default

    I especially like # 18.

    18. 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 FigNewton


    Sorry for the near miss on your keyboard...
    SRFD905 - Serving since 1998

    *~-|EGH|FTM|-~*

  7. #2532
    MembersZone Subscriber
    MalahatTwo7's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    Loco madidus effercio in rutilus effercio.
    Posts
    12,837

    Default

    #1 was the killer for me. The mental image that came with that one was almost too much to bear this early in the day.
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

  8. #2533
    MembersZone Subscriber
    MalahatTwo7's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    Loco madidus effercio in rutilus effercio.
    Posts
    12,837

    Default

    This came in from The Bossman Warrant Officer:

    It's sad that Tennessee and Mississippi are the only states that make us
    look good. Gotta read these.

    A guy from Tennessee passed away and left his entire estate to his beloved
    widow, but she can't touch it 'til she's 14.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    How do you know when you're staying in a Tennessee hotel?

    When you call the front desk and say, "I gotta leak in my sink," and the clerk replies, "Go ahead."
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    How can you tell if a Tennessee redneck is married?

    There's dried tobacco juice on both sides of his pickup truck.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Tennessee to 32?

    It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Tennessee?

    Documentaries.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Where was the toothbrush invented?

    Tennessee. If it had been invented anywhere else, it would have been
    called a teeth brush.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    A Tennessee State trooper pulls over a pickup on I-64 and says to the driver, "Got any I.D.?"

    The driver replies "Bout wut?"
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Did you hear about the $3 million Tennessee State Lottery?
    (Come on- this is funny!)

    The winner gets $3.00 a year for a million years.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    The governor's mansion in Tennessee burned down!

    Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park.

    The library was a total loss too.

    Both books-----poof! Up in flames and he hadn't even finished coloring one
    of them.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    A new law was recently passed in Tennessee.

    When a couple gets divorced, they are STILL cousins.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    A guy walks into a bar in Tennessee and orders a mudslide.

    The bartender looks at the man and says, "You ain't from 'round here are ya?'

    "No," replies the man, "I'm from Pennsylvania."

    The bartender looks at him and says, "Well, what do you do in Pennsylvania?"

    "I'm a taxidermist," said the man.

    The bartender, looking very bewildered now, asks, "What in the world is a tax-e-derm-ist?"

    "The man says,"I mount animals.

    The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar..."It's okay boys, he's one of us!"


    My sister lives in Tennessee
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

  9. #2534
    MembersZone Subscriber
    ullrichk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Deleted by the forum gremlins
    Posts
    1,663

    Default

    I guess I'll have to remain a Southern Gentleman and refrain from challenging you to a duel for insulting the Great State of Tennessee with such base humor. It is quite obvious sir, that you don't know Jack.
    Attached Images Attached Images  
    ullrichk
    a.k.a.
    perfesser

    a ship in a harbor is safe. . . but that's not what ships are for

  10. #2535
    MembersZone Subscriber
    ullrichk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Deleted by the forum gremlins
    Posts
    1,663

    Default

    Just kidding, of course . Tennesseeans amuse me too, even if I are one!
    ullrichk
    a.k.a.
    perfesser

    a ship in a harbor is safe. . . but that's not what ships are for

  11. #2536
    MembersZone Subscriber
    MalahatTwo7's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    Loco madidus effercio in rutilus effercio.
    Posts
    12,837

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ullrichk
    I guess I'll have to remain a Southern Gentleman and refrain from challenging you to a duel for insulting the Great State of Tennessee with such base humor. It is quite obvious sir, that you don't know Jack.

    HEEHHEEHHEE I may not know "Jack", but I know his cousin, Yukon real well.

    www.webtender.com/db/ingred/62
    Attached Images Attached Images  
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

  12. #2537
    MembersZone Subscriber
    rualfire's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    Strathmore, Alberta, Canada
    Posts
    444

    Default Gold...? Cuervo

    I've got a craving for a good shaken margarita.


    Does anyone have a recipie they can share?

    I've got a bottle of Con Orgullo, Grand Marnier, and Triple sec Plus I've got some fresh limes, coarse salt, two cans of limeaide frozen concentrate. and a cocktail shaker..

    I know there's a great marg in there somewhere just waiting to come out.
    SRFD905 - Serving since 1998

    *~-|EGH|FTM|-~*

  13. #2538
    MembersZone Subscriber
    ChiefReason's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2001
    Location
    Illinois-where pertnear is close enough!
    Posts
    5,636

    Default

    This thread gained some weight.
    How'd it get so wide?
    And how do you expect to kill it if you keep feeding it?
    CR
    Visit www.iacoj.com
    Remember Bradley Golden (9/25/01)
    RIP HOF Robert J. Compton(ENG6511)

  14. #2539
    Forum Member
    FDNY101TRUCK's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    9-0-8
    Posts
    789

    Default

    [QUOTE]This thread gained some weight.
    How'd it get so wide?
    And how do you expect to kill it if you keep feeding it?
    CRQUOTE]


    Its on the see-food diet...it sees food and eats it as in everyones posts...
    NEVER FORGET!
    9/11/01

  15. #2540
    Forum Member
    laddercompany's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Tucson, AZ USA
    Posts
    67

    Red face My posts

    I hope my posts don't die...

  16. #2541
    MembersZone Subscriber
    ullrichk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Deleted by the forum gremlins
    Posts
    1,663

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ChiefReason
    This thread gained some weight.
    How'd it get so wide?
    And how do you expect to kill it if you keep feeding it?
    CR
    A bit o' spam ought to be enough to kill anything. Would you care for a fig newton?
    ullrichk
    a.k.a.
    perfesser

    a ship in a harbor is safe. . . but that's not what ships are for

  17. #2542
    MembersZone Subscriber

    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    1

    Default

    What is your name?
    What is your quest?
    What is your favorite colour(color)?

  18. #2543
    MembersZone Subscriber
    pvfire424's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Kansas City Mo
    Posts
    667

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Battalion04
    What is your name? The Keymaster !
    What is your quest?The Gatekeeper
    What is your favorite colour(color)? Green

    See above !!
    I.A.C.O.J. "The Cork"

  19. #2544
    MembersZone Subscriber
    rualfire's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    Strathmore, Alberta, Canada
    Posts
    444

    Default

    Are you Gozar?
    SRFD905 - Serving since 1998

    *~-|EGH|FTM|-~*

  20. #2545
    MembersZone Subscriber
    ChiefReason's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2001
    Location
    Illinois-where pertnear is close enough!
    Posts
    5,636

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by rualfire
    Are you Gozar?
    No; I am Gonad.
    And I'm not nuts.
    CR
    Visit www.iacoj.com
    Remember Bradley Golden (9/25/01)
    RIP HOF Robert J. Compton(ENG6511)

  21. #2546
    MembersZone Subscriber
    ullrichk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Deleted by the forum gremlins
    Posts
    1,663

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ChiefReason
    No; I am Gonad.
    CR
    Gonad the Barbariad? Didn't Arnold do that character in a movie?
    ullrichk
    a.k.a.
    perfesser

    a ship in a harbor is safe. . . but that's not what ships are for

  22. #2547
    MembersZone Subscriber
    MalahatTwo7's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    Loco madidus effercio in rutilus effercio.
    Posts
    12,837

    Default

    Ya he did, but I suspect that Gonad the Barbariad speaks better English.
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

  23. #2548
    MembersZone Subscriber
    pvfire424's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Kansas City Mo
    Posts
    667

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ullrichk
    Gonad the Barbariad? Didn't Arnold do that character in a movie?


    It's not a tuma.
    I.A.C.O.J. "The Cork"

  24. #2549
    Forum Member
    jerrygarcia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    KC
    Posts
    630

    Default

    Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father: prepare to die.

    Thread Killer Extraordinaire!

  25. #2550
    MembersZone Subscriber
    JHR1985's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    DFW
    Posts
    1,918

    Default

    Man in Black: You guessed wrong.
    Vizzini: You only think I guessed wrong! That's what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well-known is this: never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha -
    Vizzini: [Vizzini stops suddenly, and falls dead to the right]
    Buttercup: And to think, all that time it was your cup that was poisoned.
    Man in Black: They were both poisoned. I spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocane powder

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

Log in

Click here to log in or register