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Thread: Thread killer

  1. #2551
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    Inconceivable!
    SRFD905 - Serving since 1998

    *~-|EGH|FTM|-~*

  2. #2552
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    "As you wish."
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

  3. #2553
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    Bye Bye boys !!

    Have fun stormin' the castle!!

    Think it'll work ?

    It would take a miracle.

    BYE


    Click me
    Last edited by pvfire424; 05-18-2006 at 09:47 AM.
    I.A.C.O.J. "The Cork"

  4. #2554
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    Quote Originally Posted by jerrygarcia
    Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father: prepare to die.


    Will you stop saying that !?
    I.A.C.O.J. "The Cork"

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    Quote Originally Posted by rualfire
    Inconceivable!

    Inconceivable !!! <<
    I.A.C.O.J. "The Cork"

  6. #2556
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    No more rhyming.... and I mean it!
    SRFD905 - Serving since 1998

    *~-|EGH|FTM|-~*

  7. #2557
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    Quote Originally Posted by rualfire
    No more rhyming.... and I mean it!

    Anybody want a.......
    I.A.C.O.J. "The Cork"

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    Quote Originally Posted by ROOKIELZ
    **ROOKIE slinks in wearing huge sunglasses and an oversized hat**

    Is this where the thread killers meet?
    Of course, I probably won't get a response...

    Fig newtons; I have always wondered about them. Does the recycling logo on the package refer to the package or the newtons?
    Probably a little of both. 1 cup paper, 1 cup flour, 1 tsp dried up figs=FN's.

  9. #2559
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    Fig Newtons and Fruitcake are both recyclable.

    Thread Killer Extraordinaire!

  10. #2560
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    Fruitcakes at the holidays and in the army.

    Don't ask, don't tell.
    SRFD905 - Serving since 1998

    *~-|EGH|FTM|-~*

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    Fig Newtons will temporarily stop a leaky radiator.
    YGBSM!
    Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

    If all you have is a hammer, then your problems start to look like nails.
    ___________________

    IACOJ
    Southern Division.

  12. #2562
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    Proof That The World is Nuts

    In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. (Like THAT makes sense.)

    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror. (Do they look different reversed?)

    *~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers. The sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times. (A brick??)

    *~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation. (Much worse than "going blind!")

    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*

    There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time. Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry. (Let's just think for a minute; is there any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?

    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's illicit lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired. (Ah! Justice!)

    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England - but only in tropical fish stores. (But of course!)

    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act. (Makes one shudder at the thought.)

    *~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*

    In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.
    (I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)

    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: Prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises." (Is this a great country or what? Well... Not as great as Guam!)

    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Who volunteers for this stuff?)

    *~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)

    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. (From drinking little bottles of ?) (Did the government pay for this research??)

    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    And, the best for last.Turtles can breathe through their butts. (And I thought I had bad breath in the morning!)
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

  13. #2563
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    Note to staff.

    All EMT's must be trained in both methods of "Turtle CPR"
    Psychiatrists state 1 in 4 people has a mental illness.
    Look at three of your friends, if they are ok, your it.

  14. #2564
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    Quote Originally Posted by FlyingKiwi
    Note to staff.

    All EMT's must be trained in both methods of "Turtle CPR"
    What's the story about the two guys out for a stroll, when one get's "zapped" on the pecker by a rattlesnake? Something about "The Doc says you're gonna die......."

    Although I suppose if some lady can do CPR on a chicken?????
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

  15. #2565
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    This was sent to me from my Boss. I have however included the name of point of origin:

    Have a Wonderful day

    "SERVITIUM NULLI SECUNDUS"

    Four Animals

    You've got to love this little girl. What a woman she'll make!

    A teacher asked her class, "What do you want out of life?"

    A little girl in the back row raised her hand and said, "All I want out of life is four little animals."

    The teacher asked, "Really and what four little animals would that be sugar?"

    The little girl said, " A mink on my back, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bed, and a jackass to pay for it all."

    The teacher fainted.

    V. Tyerman
    Capt
    D/WCompt
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

  16. #2566
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    Whenever i think of jaguars i always think of that scene in austin powers when he gets in one and says "Shaguar baby, yeah!"
    "There are only two things that i know are infinite, the universe and human stupidity. And im not so sure about the former."

    For all the life of me, i cant see a firefighter going to hell. At least not for very long. We would end up putting out all the fires and annoying the devil too much.

  17. #2567
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    For all you EMS providers out there..........



    **Note: NO fig newtons were harmed in this production.
    Attached Images Attached Images  
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

  18. #2568
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    Default testing

    to see if this will post. I seem to have lost the ability to post here (after numerous attempts to post a thread on my adventures down under which keep giving me the message that the server cannot be found.

    well, this posted but I can't start a thread. I don't know what the problem is (and I have tried from two different computers).
    Last edited by superchef; 05-26-2006 at 05:11 PM.

  19. #2569
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    5 by 5 Cheffie.
    SRFD905 - Serving since 1998

    *~-|EGH|FTM|-~*

  20. #2570
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    Quote Originally Posted by spearsm
    Fig Newtons will temporarily stop a leaky radiator.
    And they will also provide traction if you are stuck in the snow and throw them under your rear tires.
    I was told that a guy in town who plows snow uses Fig Newtons instead of tire chains.
    Professor Midol replaced his driver side airbag with Spam. It provides enough cushion at impact and creates a delicious snack while you are waiting to be extricated!
    True story.
    CR
    Visit www.iacoj.com
    Remember Bradley Golden (9/25/01)
    RIP HOF Robert J. Compton(ENG6511)

  21. #2571
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    Inquiring minds need an answer....


    1. How does he open the can?

    2. What cushioning can a can supply?
    Psychiatrists state 1 in 4 people has a mental illness.
    Look at three of your friends, if they are ok, your it.

  22. #2572
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    Quote Originally Posted by FlyingKiwi
    Inquiring minds need an answer....


    1. How does he open the can?

    2. What cushioning can a can supply?
    I have no answer for Q1, however... on #2, I guess that would depend on how soft her can was.
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

  23. #2573
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    What would happen if he was to inadvertently use a can of Whop-*** instead of Spam?

  24. #2574
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    Quote Originally Posted by FlyingKiwi
    Inquiring minds need an answer....


    1. How does he open the can?

    2. What cushioning can a can supply?
    According to Professor Midol, the Spam is placed in the steering wheel into a receptacle much like Tupperware and the "lid", if you will, is the vehicle's horn. He states that it took several crash test dummies to get the proper velocity on the Spam.
    I am told that these drivers side "spags" are selling like spamcakes on the black market in Third World countries.
    CR
    Visit www.iacoj.com
    Remember Bradley Golden (9/25/01)
    RIP HOF Robert J. Compton(ENG6511)

  25. #2575
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    Before you all jump down my throat, I did a search.

    Where can I find information about de-energizing spam at an auto extrication?

    Thread Killer Extraordinaire!

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