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  1. #3401
    55 Years & Still Rolling hwoods's Avatar
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    Smile Hey!..........

    Quote Originally Posted by FlyingKiwi View Post
    Cincyone.

    It's spelled C-I-N-C-Y-G-O-N-E

    Never use Force! Get a Bigger Hammer.
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  2. #3402
    IACOJ BOD FlyingKiwi's Avatar
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    Just before the Battle of Trafalgar - a conversation is overheard on the Deck of HMS Victory;

    Nelson: "Order the signal, Hardy."
    Hardy: "Aye, aye sir."
    Nelson: "Hold on, that's not what I dictated to Flags. What's the meaning of this?"
    Hardy: "Sorry sir?"
    Nelson (reading aloud): " England expects every person to do his or her duty, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, religious persuasion or disability." "What gobbledygook is this?"
    Hardy: "Admiralty policy, I'm afraid, sir. We're an equal opportunities employer now. We had the devil's own job getting ' England ' past the censors, lest it be considered racist."
    Nelson: "Gadzooks, Hardy. Hand me my pipe and tobacco."
    Hardy: "Sorry sir. All naval vessels have now been designated smoke-free working environments."
    Nelson: "In that case, break open the rum ration. Let us splice the main brace to steel the men before battle."
    Hardy: "The rum ration has been abolished, Admiral. Its part of the Government's policy on binge drinking."
    Nelson: "Good heavens, Hardy. I suppose we'd better get on with it ...........full speed ahead."
    Hardy: "I think you'll find that there's a 4 knot speed limit in this stretch of water."
    Nelson: "Damn it man! We are on the eve of the greatest sea battle in history. We must advance with all dispatch. Report from the crow's nest please."
    Hardy: "That won't be possible, sir."
    Nelson: "What?"
    Hardy: "Health and Safety have closed the crow's nest, sir. No harness. And they said that rope ladders don't meet regulations. They won't let anyone up there until a proper scaffolding can be
    erected."
    Nelson: "Then get me the ship's carpenter without delay, Hardy."
    Hardy: "He's busy knocking up a wheelchair access to the fo'c'sle Admiral."
    Nelson: "Wheelchair access? I've never heard anything so absurd."
    Hardy: "Health and safety again, sir. We have to provide a barrier-free environment for the differently abled."
    Nelson: "Differently abled? I've only one arm and one eye and I refuse even to hear mention of the word. I didn't rise to the rank of admiral by playing the disability card."
    Hardy: "Actually, sir, you did. The Royal Navy is underrepresented in the areas of visual impairment and limb deficiency."
    Nelson: "Whatever next? Give me full sail. The salt spray beckons."
    Hardy: "A couple of problems there too, sir. Health and safety won't let the crew up the rigging without hard hats. And they don't want anyone breathing in too much salt - haven't you seen the adverts?"
    Nelson: "I've never heard such infamy. Break out the cannon and tell the men to stand by to engage the enemy."
    Hardy: "The men are a bit worried about shooting at anyone, Admiral."
    Nelson: "What? This is mutiny !"
    Hardy: "It's not that, sir. It's just that they're afraid of being charged with murder if they actually kill anyone. There's a couple of legal-aid lawyers on board, watching everyone like hawks."
    Nelson: "Then how are we to sink the Frenchies and the Spanish?"
    Hardy: "Actually, sir, we're not."
    Nelson: "We're not?"
    Hardy: "No, sir. The French and the Spanish are our European partners now. According to the Common Fisheries Policy, we shouldn't even be in this stretch of water. We could get hit with a claim for compensation."
    Nelson: "But you must hate a Frenchman as you hate the devil."
    Hardy: "I wouldn't let the ship's diversity co-ordinator hear you saying that sir. You'll be up on disciplinary report."
    Nelson: "You must consider every man an enemy, who speaks ill of your King."
    Hardy: "Not any more, sir. We must be inclusive in this
    multicultural age. Now put on your Kevlar vest; it's the rules. It could save your life"
    Nelson: "Don't tell me - health and safety. Whatever happened to rum, sodomy and the lash?"
    Hardy: As I explained, sir, rum is off the menu! And there's a ban on corporal punishment."
    Nelson: "What about sodomy?"
    Hardy: "I believe that is now legal, sir."
    Nelson: "In that case ...kiss me, Hardy."
    Psychiatrists state 1 in 4 people has a mental illness.
    Look at three of your friends, if they are ok, your it.

  3. #3403
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    Quote Originally Posted by FlyingKiwi View Post
    Just before the Battle of Trafalgar - a conversation is overheard on the Deck of HMS Victory;

    Nelson: "Order the signal, Hardy."
    Hardy: "Aye, aye sir."
    Nelson: "Hold on, that's not what I dictated to Flags. What's the meaning of this?"
    Hardy: "Sorry sir?"
    Nelson (reading aloud): " England expects every person to do his or her duty, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, religious persuasion or disability." "What gobbledygook is this?"
    Hardy: "Admiralty policy, I'm afraid, sir. We're an equal opportunities employer now. We had the devil's own job getting ' England ' past the censors, lest it be considered racist."
    Nelson: "Gadzooks, Hardy. Hand me my pipe and tobacco."
    Hardy: "Sorry sir. All naval vessels have now been designated smoke-free working environments."
    Nelson: "In that case, break open the rum ration. Let us splice the main brace to steel the men before battle."
    Hardy: "The rum ration has been abolished, Admiral. Its part of the Government's policy on binge drinking."
    Nelson: "Good heavens, Hardy. I suppose we'd better get on with it ...........full speed ahead."
    Hardy: "I think you'll find that there's a 4 knot speed limit in this stretch of water."
    Nelson: "Damn it man! We are on the eve of the greatest sea battle in history. We must advance with all dispatch. Report from the crow's nest please."
    Hardy: "That won't be possible, sir."
    Nelson: "What?"
    Hardy: "Health and Safety have closed the crow's nest, sir. No harness. And they said that rope ladders don't meet regulations. They won't let anyone up there until a proper scaffolding can be
    erected."
    Nelson: "Then get me the ship's carpenter without delay, Hardy."
    Hardy: "He's busy knocking up a wheelchair access to the fo'c'sle Admiral."
    Nelson: "Wheelchair access? I've never heard anything so absurd."
    Hardy: "Health and safety again, sir. We have to provide a barrier-free environment for the differently abled."
    Nelson: "Differently abled? I've only one arm and one eye and I refuse even to hear mention of the word. I didn't rise to the rank of admiral by playing the disability card."
    Hardy: "Actually, sir, you did. The Royal Navy is underrepresented in the areas of visual impairment and limb deficiency."
    Nelson: "Whatever next? Give me full sail. The salt spray beckons."
    Hardy: "A couple of problems there too, sir. Health and safety won't let the crew up the rigging without hard hats. And they don't want anyone breathing in too much salt - haven't you seen the adverts?"
    Nelson: "I've never heard such infamy. Break out the cannon and tell the men to stand by to engage the enemy."
    Hardy: "The men are a bit worried about shooting at anyone, Admiral."
    Nelson: "What? This is mutiny !"
    Hardy: "It's not that, sir. It's just that they're afraid of being charged with murder if they actually kill anyone. There's a couple of legal-aid lawyers on board, watching everyone like hawks."
    Nelson: "Then how are we to sink the Frenchies and the Spanish?"
    Hardy: "Actually, sir, we're not."
    Nelson: "We're not?"
    Hardy: "No, sir. The French and the Spanish are our European partners now. According to the Common Fisheries Policy, we shouldn't even be in this stretch of water. We could get hit with a claim for compensation."
    Nelson: "But you must hate a Frenchman as you hate the devil."
    Hardy: "I wouldn't let the ship's diversity co-ordinator hear you saying that sir. You'll be up on disciplinary report."
    Nelson: "You must consider every man an enemy, who speaks ill of your King."
    Hardy: "Not any more, sir. We must be inclusive in this
    multicultural age. Now put on your Kevlar vest; it's the rules. It could save your life"
    Nelson: "Don't tell me - health and safety. Whatever happened to rum, sodomy and the lash?"
    Hardy: As I explained, sir, rum is off the menu! And there's a ban on corporal punishment."
    Nelson: "What about sodomy?"
    Hardy: "I believe that is now legal, sir."
    Nelson: "In that case ...kiss me, Hardy."
    Unfortunately so bloody true--same deal for the rather gender confused young chap who joined the Para's--the Drill Sargeant asked him/she if she/him could kill a man--"Mmm,Sargy-Poo's-eventually" was the answer

  4. #3404
    MembersZone Subscriber MalahatTwo7's Avatar
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    Ya. Way too close to the real truth, that is. I wonder sometimes how it is we are still allowed to maintain let alone deploy an armed military force.
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

  5. #3405
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    Question

    deleted by user
    Last edited by superchef; 08-11-2007 at 10:12 PM.

  6. #3406
    Forum Member rhvfd1214's Avatar
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    I like fried bologna biscuits with mustard. Preferrably the "cat-head" style. After all, if a biscuit wasn't a biscuit, it would want to be a bun. I am especially fond of the bisquick design.

  7. #3407
    Forum Member Armageddon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by superchef View Post
    The editing feature is either playing tricks on me or has been changed. I went to edit a post and there was no edit option. However, a second post I made did have the edit option. The first post was on page one of the thread, the second post was on page 2 which is the current page in the thread (Life is tough thread). I went back in this thread too and it appears that you can now only edit your post on the current page of the thread.

    Life is confusing enough. I don't need more confusion on a Saturday morning.
    I sent a PM to the webteam about a problem as well. Every time I post, it tells me that my post will not be visible until approved by a moderator. Sometimes takes up to a day to appear. Seems they are having some software issues. Hopefully it will be fixed soon.

    EDIT-Of course, this post popped right up. Go figure.

  8. #3408
    55 Years & Still Rolling hwoods's Avatar
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    Lightbulb Test.................

    This is only a test. If is were a real post you would have been advised to seek shelter until the storm passes.

    1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-0


    OK ten minutes after the first post, this is edit test 1.

    Edit test 2.
    Last edited by hwoods; 06-03-2007 at 01:51 PM. Reason: Testing the Edit Feature...........
    Never use Force! Get a Bigger Hammer.
    In memory of
    Chief Earle W. Woods, 1912 - 1997
    Asst. Chief John R. Woods Sr. 1937 - 2006

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    I Refuse to be a Spectator. If I come to the Game, I'm Playing.

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  9. #3409
    MembersZone Subscriber ChiefReason's Avatar
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    Hmmm.
    Problems here in the forums?
    Have you called the Service Desk?
    They have a 24 hour hotline you know.
    You'll have someone looking at your problem before you even hang up the phone.
    Your account is credited and they send you coupons.
    No, wait: that's MY internet provider.
    Nevermind.
    CR
    Visit www.iacoj.com
    Remember Bradley Golden (9/25/01)
    RIP HOF Robert J. Compton(ENG6511)

  10. #3410
    MembersZone Subscriber MalahatTwo7's Avatar
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    Last edited by hwoods : Today at 01:51 PM. Reason: Testing the Edit Feature...........
    Heard over Station's broadcast system: "Edit test complete. Obey all further edits."
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

  11. #3411
    Forum Member rhvfd1214's Avatar
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    My lack of subject matter for this thread baffles me. Does that mean I have killed the thread in my head? All of those little voices seem to have quit talking, and started humming. Maybe I have had too much cell phone radiation burning up my brain cells. Or is it the Spam and Vienna's?

    Can anyone suggest a good white wine for consumption with Spam? I'm thinking a Zinfindale or Colombard, or maybe just some coke and rum.

  12. #3412
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    Default

    deleted by user
    Last edited by superchef; 08-11-2007 at 10:13 PM.

  13. #3413
    MembersZone Subscriber ChiefReason's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by superchef View Post
    Please don't confuse me any more than I am already confused.

    the edit button from yesterday is gone so does that mean I should only look for the edits today before they are consumed by the forum squirrels? Or should I be looking for any potential future edits and refrain from making any witty comments that may or may not kill this thread? I like playing with buttons. Don't take my buttons away from me.





    is about all I can say to this. I think you need to lay off the Spam and Viennas.
    Cheffie:
    I am studying this phenomena as we speak. Right now, at this very moment, my buttons from MY posts are gone, because my account is in limbo until I hit one of the two buttons below. Either "submit reply" or "preview post" buttons. I can tell you that the website could save a few bucks by getting rid of the "preview post" button. WHO IN THE...nevermind. Nobody "previews" before they hit "submit reply".
    So, just before I hit the "post reply" button, I was looking at my buttons and your buttons. I noticed that I had the "edit" button and you didn't.
    So, apparently, I can't see your's and you can't see mine.
    Make sense?
    Have I been naughty?
    Visit www.iacoj.com
    Remember Bradley Golden (9/25/01)
    RIP HOF Robert J. Compton(ENG6511)

  14. #3414
    MembersZone Subscriber ChiefReason's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rhvfd1214 View Post
    My lack of subject matter for this thread baffles me. Does that mean I have killed the thread in my head? All of those little voices seem to have quit talking, and started humming. Maybe I have had too much cell phone radiation burning up my brain cells. Or is it the Spam and Vienna's?

    Can anyone suggest a good white wine for consumption with Spam? I'm thinking a Zinfindale or Colombard, or maybe just some coke and rum.
    I would think a bottle of a very spirited Boone's Farm would go well with your food choice.
    Note: the use of the word "food" was an attempt at obscure sarcasm. Scratch off your ticket to see if you have won. You may already be a wiener.
    CR
    Visit www.iacoj.com
    Remember Bradley Golden (9/25/01)
    RIP HOF Robert J. Compton(ENG6511)

  15. #3415
    55 Years & Still Rolling hwoods's Avatar
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    Lightbulb Hey!..............

    Quote Originally Posted by ChiefReason View Post
    I can tell you that the website could save a few bucks by getting rid of the "preview post" button. WHO IN THE...nevermind. Nobody "previews" before they hit "submit reply".

    Well, If they don't THINK before replying, why would you think they would "Preview" ? No sense in that.............
    Never use Force! Get a Bigger Hammer.
    In memory of
    Chief Earle W. Woods, 1912 - 1997
    Asst. Chief John R. Woods Sr. 1937 - 2006

    IACOJ Budget Analyst

    I Refuse to be a Spectator. If I come to the Game, I'm Playing.

    www.gdvfd18.com

  16. #3416
    IACOJ BOD FlyingKiwi's Avatar
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    I hit that button once.

    Silly damn thing showed my my spellink mistooks so I never used it again.
    Psychiatrists state 1 in 4 people has a mental illness.
    Look at three of your friends, if they are ok, your it.

  17. #3417
    MembersZone Subscriber MalahatTwo7's Avatar
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    White Zinfendel. Definitely the White Zinfendel. Of course that would be my choice to just about everything.
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

  18. #3418
    IACOJ BOD FlyingKiwi's Avatar
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    Ariel self flagalation.

    Guess who.
    Psychiatrists state 1 in 4 people has a mental illness.
    Look at three of your friends, if they are ok, your it.

  19. #3419
    MembersZone Subscriber MalahatTwo7's Avatar
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    Received in morning e-mail from the General's Driver:

    Subject: TRAFFIC JAM ON I-95

    A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on US 95 south, just outside of Washington, DC. Nothing is moving north or south.

    Suddenly a man knocks on his window. The driver rolls down his window and asks, "what happened? What's the hold up?"

    "Terrorists have Hillary Clinton, Ted Kennedy, Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Barbara Boxer and John Kerry.

    They want $10 million to release them. Otherwise, they are going to douse them with gasoline and set them on fire. We are going from car to car, taking up a collection."

    The driver asks, "On average how much is everyone giving?"

    The man says "About a gallon."
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

  20. #3420
    Forum Member rhvfd1214's Avatar
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    I happen to have a bottle of a "cheeky zinfindale" in my possession. It is a Texas Wine from the Dry Comal Creek vineyard. It is a White Zinfindale that has just enough red wine to make it blush. I have been saving it since I got it on vacation back in 2004. Perhaps I will pop the cork and fire the grill up. Some grilled spam and wine would make a great evening. I don't understand the spam haters. I think of spam as a quality food substance, and also a way to protect myself from terror attacks. I used to eat potted meat products, but then I found out what tripe was. Although the thought of a mechanical seperator for pork intrigues me.. Who created that object? I bet it is a monster to watch in action. How does the machine know what parts to seperate?

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