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  1. #5441
    Forum Member CaptOldTimer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MalahatTwo7 View Post
    The Woman Marine Pilot

    The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment:

    Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

    The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.

    There were all the regular types of stuff: spilled milk and pennies saved.

    But then the teacher realized, much to her dismay, that only Janie was left.

    "Janie, do you have a story to share?"

    "Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.

    She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break, and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops. She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.

    ''Good Heavens,' said the horrified teacher. 'What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?

    "Stay away from Mommy when she's been drinking."


    Spoken like the True Kid Of A Marine!


    OMG!!

    Stay away too when she has pms!
    Stay Safe and Well Out There....

    Always remembering 9-11-2001 and 343+ Brothers


  2. #5442
    Forum Member rhvfd1214's Avatar
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    I thought the moral of the story was that an empty whiskey bottle won't break.
    I fish for a living, but I have to work for money...

  3. #5443
    MembersZone Subscriber MalahatTwo7's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rhvfd1214 View Post
    I thought the moral of the story was that an empty whiskey bottle won't break.
    Hahahhaaa Now THAT is funny cuz that was my first impression too!

  4. #5444
    MembersZone Subscriber MalahatTwo7's Avatar
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    Red face

    Did you hear about the teacher who was helping one of her reception class pupils put on his boots?

    He asked for help and she could see why. Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on.b By the time they got the second boot on, she had worked up a sweat.

    She almost cried when the little boy said, "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet." She looked, and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as, together, they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the right feet.

    He then announced, "These aren't my boots."

    She bit her tongue, rather than get right in his face and scream, "Why didn't you say so?" But once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet. No sooner were the boots off when he said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mum made me wear 'em."

    Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry. But she mustered up what grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again.

    Helping him into his coat, she asked, "Now, where are your mittens?"

    "He said, 'I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots."



    She will be eligible for parole in three years.
    Last edited by MalahatTwo7; 12-15-2011 at 03:37 PM.

  5. #5445
    Forum Member rhvfd1214's Avatar
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    When asking a teacher for help with your boots, the third time's a harm....
    I fish for a living, but I have to work for money...

  6. #5446
    MembersZone Subscriber MalahatTwo7's Avatar
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    Around here, I think this is a question which is pretty much on every kids mind this week:
    Attached Images Attached Images  

  7. #5447
    Forum Member rhvfd1214's Avatar
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    My Christmas shopping is done. Now we wait for a hurricane of paper ripping and "ooohs" and "aahhs" from the flood of energy that is my niece and nephews... Christmas time is here. May each and every one associated with the fire service have peace this holiday. May the call box stay silent, and the only fires be those of comfort and warmth. God Bless!
    I fish for a living, but I have to work for money...

  8. #5448
    Forum Member firecat1's Avatar
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    Has everyone recovered enough from Christmas to enjoy the New Year celebrations?

  9. #5449
    Forum Member CaptOldTimer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by firecat1 View Post
    Has everyone recovered enough from Christmas to enjoy the New Year celebrations?
    Yeah I have, what is on the schedule??
    Stay Safe and Well Out There....

    Always remembering 9-11-2001 and 343+ Brothers

  10. #5450
    Forum Member Miller337's Avatar
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    Don't we need to make a bunch of resolutions we have no intention of keeping.

  11. #5451
    Forum Member firecat1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptOldTimer View Post
    Yeah I have, what is on the schedule??
    NOT shopping!!!

  12. #5452
    Forum Member firecat1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Miller337 View Post
    Don't we need to make a bunch of resolutions we have no intention of keeping.
    My resolution is...























    to not make any resolutions!!!

  13. #5453
    MembersZone Subscriber MrYuk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by firecat1 View Post
    My resolution is...

    to not make any resolutions!!!
    I'm with ya.
    "Training doesn't make you a good fireman, fighting fire makes you a good fireman"
    http://thedarksideof911.blogspot.com/
    FTM-PTB-EGH
    IACOJ

  14. #5454
    Forum Member Miller337's Avatar
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    You weenies. I on the other hand will make one, and stick with it for a few days anyhow.

    Regardless of all that here it is. I promise to be kinder to BULL in the coming year. Picking on him isn't very nice and I'm sorry about it.

  15. #5455
    Forum Member rhvfd1214's Avatar
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    There seems to be an unwritten law of physics around here that when a drunk driver runs off the road, anywhere in our district, sooner or later, a tree will stop the car.. Fortunately, no major injuries, but he will probably not be having a great New Year.
    I fish for a living, but I have to work for money...

  16. #5456
    MembersZone Subscriber MalahatTwo7's Avatar
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    Thumbs up

    Canada's best sniper protects Edmonton's streets
    By Kris Sims, Parliamentary Bureau

    Retired corporal Rob Furlong protected his American brothers by taking out a Taliban fighter from 2,430 metres away. Now the former sniper is protecting the streets of Alberta's capital as a night beat cop.

    "I feel that on a much smaller scale, rather than being on the front lines in Afghanistan, I'm back at home, looking after the homefront, still dealing with bad people who bring ill will on innocents," said the soft spoken Furlong, originally from Fogo Island, N.L.

    His dad, Cyril, is a marksman himself, and taught Rob how to shoot when he was a wee lad.

    "I've wanted to do this since I was a child, and 14 years with the military and the police, I have always had a job where I look to help others."

    Furlong is featured in a newly updated book, Ultimate Sniper, written by retired major John Plaster and published by Paladin Press, and appears in the documentary by the same name. Plaster is an icon in the sniper world, and among retired special forces in the U.S. military.

    "I carried the original book with me to Afghanistan and got Plaster to sign it," Furlong said, looking at the book on his shelf.

    Furlong was a member of the Canadian sharpshooting five-man Special Forces Sniper Cell with 3 P.P.C.L.I., based out CFB Edmonton. The cell was sent to watch the backs of U.S. allies in the mountains of Afghanistan. During one well-documented mission, they spotted Taliban fighters carrying a machine gun up a mountain trail, trying to get above the U.S. forces for an ambush. That's when Furlong took aim.

    "That shot that we made that day, we didn't realize what we managed to do."

    The bullets used in the .50-calibre McMillan Brothers Tac-50 Rifle were the size of a pop can, and took three seconds to travel the 2.4 km to reach their target.

    Furlong was decorated for his efforts by the U.S., but did not receive any similar commendation in Canada.

    "I'm not bitter against the army, I loved my career in there," he said back home, where he's settled into his life as an Edmonton cop.

    "I still have my dress uniform in my closet. I will never forget it. It means a lot to me," said Furlong. "Policing gives me a little taste of that, but I can be home at night."

  17. #5457
    Forum Member firecat1's Avatar
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    Happy Friday the 13th!!!

  18. #5458
    Forum Member rhvfd1214's Avatar
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    Is it my imagination, or are the forums getting harder and harder to use?
    I fish for a living, but I have to work for money...

  19. #5459
    MembersZone Subscriber MalahatTwo7's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rhvfd1214 View Post
    Is it my imagination, or are the forums getting harder and harder to use?
    That would be your imagination trying to tell you something, that was true.

  20. #5460
    Forum Member Miller337's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MalahatTwo7 View Post
    That would be your imagination trying to tell you something, that was true.
    Cool. I was thinking my short term memory loss was getting worse.

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