Thread: Its Army Humour Sir!
08-31-2005, 02:27 PM #1
- Join Date
- Mar 2002
- Loco madidus effercio in rutilus effercio.
Its Army Humour Sir!
The story of Uncle Bob
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: get their parents
to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the
kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
Kathy said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens.
One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat
of the pickup when we hit a bump in the road and all the eggs went
flying and broke and made a mess"
"And what's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher.
"Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"
"Very good," said the teacher. "Now, Lucy?"
"Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market.
We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got ten live
chicks. And the moral to this story is, don't count your chickens until
"That was a fine story Lucy. Johnny do you have a story to share?"
"Yes, ma'am, my daddy told me this story about my uncle Bob. Uncle Bob
was a Green Beret in Vietnam and his helicopter got hit. He had to crash
land in enemy territory and all he had was a bottle of whiskey, a
machine gun and a machete. He drank the whiskey on the way down so it
wouldn't break and then he landed right in the middle of 100 enemy
troops. He killed seventy of them with the machine gun until he ran out
of bullets, then he killed twenty more with the machete till the blade
broke and then he killed the last ten with his bare hands."
"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, " What kind of moral did
your daddy tell you from that horrible story?"
"Don't f*ck with Uncle Bob when he's been drinking."
A Platoon Sergeant and his Platoon Leader are bunking down in the field
for the night. The Platoon Sergeant looks up and says, "When you see all
the stars in the sky, what do you think, sir?"
The LT replies, "Well, I think of how insignificant we really are in the
universe; how small a piece of such a grand design. I can't help but
wonder if what we do truly means anything or makes any difference. Why?
What do you think of, Sergeant?"
"I think somebody stole the damn tent."
As a group of soldiers stood in formation at an Army Base, the Drill
Sergeant said, "All right! All you idiots fall out." As the rest of the
squad wandered away, one soldier remained at attention. The Drill
Instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with him, and then raised
a single eyebrow. The soldier smiled and said, "Sure was a lot of 'em,
huh, sir?"If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)
"I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD
"Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)
Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!
impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto
IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.
08-31-2005, 05:46 PM #2Originally Posted by MalahatTwo7The comments made by me are my opinions only. They DO NOT reflect the opinions of my employer(s). If you have an issue with something I may say, take it up with me, either by posting in the forums, emailing me through my profile, or PMing me through my profile.
We are all adults so there is no need to act like a child........
08-31-2005, 07:42 PM #3Originally Posted by MalahatTwo7"Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like." Will Rogers
The borrower is slave to the lender. Proverbs 22:7 - Debt free since 10/5/2009.
"No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session." - New York Judge Gideon Tucker
"As Americans we must always remember that we all have a common enemy, an enemy that is dangerous, powerful and relentless. I refer, of course, to the federal government." - Dave Barry
www.daveramsey.com www.clarkhoward.com www.heritage.org
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