1. #1
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    Talking Unusual Boat Names: Got Any?

    A boat by any other name: Whimsical or tasteless, ship monikers reveal much about their owners

    Jim Gibson Times Colonist September 12, 2005

    It wasn't the lines of the multi-million-dollar yacht off the Sunshine Coast that caught the Victoria sailors' eyes so much as the lines on the stern identifying it as the "Lucky Sperm" of "Climax, PA."

    Eye-popping boat names are nothing new in B.C.'s coastal waters. Swiftsure event chair Bill Conconi remembers the ominous-sounding Running With Scissors entering one year. Elsewhere on the water, he's seen a Sea Deuce and even a boat called Klee-Taurus.

    Gordon Nickells of the Royal Victoria Yacht Club's curatorial committee recalls a Seattle boat that clearly spelled out its skipper's spending priorities. It was called Momma's Mink. Nickells's old Redskin, named after a famous tea clipper, underwent a name change for political correctness by a later owner.

    The Victoria sailors were hardly the first to raise an eyebrow over the boat christened Lucky Sperm. It rates several nominations on yachting websites for the worst or most tasteless boat name.

    "He's a party kind of guy," says John Driver of Delta's West Bay SonShip Yachts, describing Lucky Sperm's Californian owner. The Canadian boatyard built the 83-footer in 2003 for just under $4 million U.S.

    "He considers himself a very fortunate person," says Driver, who refused to identify the owner. All that's known is that the Californian has a vineyard, and his family were once San Francisco newspaper owners.

    Victoria MP David Anderson named his boat Rose Ellen after his grandmother, who died just before he built the boat from the hull up more than 25 years ago.

    The veteran sailor, who once spent six months sailing the South Seas in his post-provincial-politics days, had an earlier boat, Molly Hogan.

    It never occurred to him to change its name from what is both a pub name and a logging term -- it refers to a piece of wire or rope.

    "It's bad luck," says Anderson. "Why take the risk? I take enough risks in my life."

    In fact, sailors are a superstitious lot and prone to cleansing rituals to avoid disasters at sea. Bad luck is supposed to follow a boat's re-naming without the precautions of a name-change ceremony.

    Royal Victoria Yacht Club commodore Vern Burkhardt isn't letting superstition deter him from coming up with a new name for his Sea Bea II. He acquired the boat more than six years ago, but calls the name change "a work in progress." The commodore and his wife want a name that reflects their love of opera. An obvious one, the Flying Dutchman, has been used a few times already.

    Jim McLauchlan of Oak Bay Sailing School isn't worried about changing a boat's name. He's even done it himself. He doesn't completely dismiss the superstition surrounding name changes and even held a re-naming ceremony for his boat.

    "It was a bit of fun," he says.

    First, it required eradicating all references to the boat's old name from everything from the actual vessel to objects such as lifebuoys and any papers aboard. The old name can also never be mentioned again.

    McLauchlan then gave a glowing speech to appease Neptune and other deities of the seas who might otherwise be offended. A bottle of champagne was smashed against the bow.

    Many sailors might regard that as a waste of champagne. Some re-naming ceremonies call for just splashing a bit of bubbly around the deck and drinking the rest.

    Some ceremonies ensuring subsequent safe sailing for a re-named boat even include the participation of a virgin. Others simply call for a new keel bolt or a coin under the mast as a safeguard.

    What's in a boat name

    Questions to consider when naming a boat:

    - How often do you want to explain what the name means?

    *How sappy is the name?

    - Can you stand the kidding if your boat named something such as MagicBullet or Speedy Wins finishes last in races?

    - How easily can names such as Serenity be bastardized by friends and foes into something like Senility?

    - Will the name be easily understood in a May Day radio call?

    -- with files from www.marinegraphics.com

    Ran with fact box "What's in a boat name" which has been appended to the story.

    © Times Colonist (Victoria) 2005
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    USS John Hancock is the only United States Ship with her name in script that match the original signature instead of block letters on her sternsheets.
    It takes( or took-dunno if she's still in commission)an Act of Congress to allow it every time they repaint the ship and cover up the name.
    As to christening ceremonies,the American Queen was christened with a five gallon jar of McIlheney's Hot Sauce while in Louisiana.
    I've never heard about virgins being present at a commissioning ceremony for good luck.I do know USS Memphis was wrecked by a tidal wave after she was renamed because they were going to use the name USS Tennessee for a battleship in the early 1900s.USN ships are NEVER renamed because of that wreck.They can be redesignated like from DLG to DDG and change the hull number as was done to my ship in the 60s,but they go from shipyard to shipbreakers with the same name.
    Last edited by doughesson; 09-12-2005 at 03:22 PM.

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    Remember a while back when the son of the Sultan of Brunai had a megayacht called "Tits"? With the two smaller runabouts on board called "Nipple 1" and "Nipple 2"....That's a good one...

    My favorite is Al Czervik's yacht in Caddyshack, named "Seafood".....
    Chief Dwayne LeBlanc
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    "I have a dream. It's not a big dream, it's just a little dream. My dream — and I hope you don't find this too crazy — is that I would like the people of this community to feel that if, God forbid, there were a fire, calling the fire department would actually be a wise thing to do. You can't have people, if their houses are burning down, saying, 'Whatever you do, don't call the fire department!' That would be bad."
    — C.D. Bales, "Roxanne"

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    Never heard of the Sultan's megayacht being named that.Maybe they should bring it to NYC and invite the junior Senator aboard.
    I was going to name a boat that I am designing "Ka-Me-Em"after three of my niecelings but a fourth came along and I couldn't figure out how to fit her name in as well and still pronounce it.
    Plus,as competitive as they are,I'd have trouble taking the namesake's photo without her in it or someone insisting that she be even after explaining why Kate,Meg and Emma are the only ones in the picture.

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    Written upside down on the back of my Sea Ray is "If You Can Read This TIP ME OVER"

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    On the back of my camo'ed 14' Xpress jon boat, I tattooed her "Fowl Play"

    If the High life can tattoo their million $$ boats, then I am gonna tattoo my duck boat....


    It is a bit on the Red Neck side,,,,,But it does have class

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    I am not trying to start a political battle here (really, I am not) but John Kerry's yacht is named the "Scaramouche."

    It just sounds pompous.

    Me? I need to own a boat to name it. Which means that I need a truck to pull it. Which means the wife would have to say that is OK.......Which means I will never own a boat.
    "Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like." Will Rogers

    The borrower is slave to the lender. Proverbs 22:7 - Debt free since 10/5/2009.

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    I saw a boat in Portsmouth Harbor called " Mornin Wood"
    There goes the neighborhood.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rossco
    I saw a boat in Portsmouth Harbor called " Mornin Wood"
    Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh. Mornin Wood. Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh.
    "Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like." Will Rogers

    The borrower is slave to the lender. Proverbs 22:7 - Debt free since 10/5/2009.

    "No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session." - New York Judge Gideon Tucker

    "As Americans we must always remember that we all have a common enemy, an enemy that is dangerous, powerful and relentless. I refer, of course, to the federal government." - Dave Barry

    www.daveramsey.com www.clarkhoward.com www.heritage.org

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    lenny what kind of searay do you have? I have a 16 ft searayder
    jet drive that had a message written across the back,,,,
    Get in-sit down-HOLD ON, it got all faded and I had to peel
    it off 2 years ago when I got the seats redone. The name on her
    now is A Service call. Being a service manager when someone asks
    my secretary where Im at she can say " Hes out on a service call"

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    If I ever buy a boat, Im going to name it "Boat", just to be a smart a**

    I always liked Huey Lewis video where he asks some hottie "would you like to see my yacht?". Of course his "yacht" is a rowboat named "MyYot".
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    IF... I had a boat it would probably be named "ALL TIED UP" because unless I win the lottery, thats exactly what it'd be. Tied up to the jetty, and tied up with the bank.
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

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    My stepdad built a boat and he started working on it in the early 1990's. He calls it "The Boat That Never Floated". But he can't really call it that anymore because he has taken it out a couple times. It's quite a piece of never ending work.
    2005 Pontiac Wave 5 Hatch
    Pontiac... built for drivers

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    Quote Originally Posted by DaSharkie
    I am not trying to start a political battle here (really, I am not) but John Kerry's yacht is named the "Scaramouche."
    Scaramouch? Scaramouche? Will you do the fandango?
    Chief Dwayne LeBlanc
    Paincourtville Volunteer Fire Department
    Paincourtville, LA

    "I have a dream. It's not a big dream, it's just a little dream. My dream — and I hope you don't find this too crazy — is that I would like the people of this community to feel that if, God forbid, there were a fire, calling the fire department would actually be a wise thing to do. You can't have people, if their houses are burning down, saying, 'Whatever you do, don't call the fire department!' That would be bad."
    — C.D. Bales, "Roxanne"

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    From the Meriam-Webster online dictionary:

    Variant(s): or scar·a·mouche /'skar-&-"müsh, -"müch, -"mauch/
    Function: noun
    Etymology: French Scaramouche, from Italian Scaramuccia, from scaramuccia skirmish
    1 capitalized : a stock character in the Italian commedia dell'arte that burlesques the Spanish don and is characterized by boastfulness and cowardliness
    2 a : a cowardly buffoon b : RASCAL, SCAMP
    Draw what conclusions you like...discuss amongst yourselves.....
    Chief Dwayne LeBlanc
    Paincourtville Volunteer Fire Department
    Paincourtville, LA

    "I have a dream. It's not a big dream, it's just a little dream. My dream — and I hope you don't find this too crazy — is that I would like the people of this community to feel that if, God forbid, there were a fire, calling the fire department would actually be a wise thing to do. You can't have people, if their houses are burning down, saying, 'Whatever you do, don't call the fire department!' That would be bad."
    — C.D. Bales, "Roxanne"

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    Now I told you that I didn't want to be political.

    I just think that it sounds pompous..............
    "Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like." Will Rogers

    The borrower is slave to the lender. Proverbs 22:7 - Debt free since 10/5/2009.

    "No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session." - New York Judge Gideon Tucker

    "As Americans we must always remember that we all have a common enemy, an enemy that is dangerous, powerful and relentless. I refer, of course, to the federal government." - Dave Barry

    www.daveramsey.com www.clarkhoward.com www.heritage.org

  18. #18
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    Talking Yup!...............

    Quote Originally Posted by dmleblanc
    From the Meriam-Webster online dictionary:



    Draw what conclusions you like...discuss amongst yourselves.....
    Number 2 gets my vote................
    Never use Force! Get a Bigger Hammer.
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    I once saw a boat called "Cirrhosis of the River." That made me laugh.

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    firemanpat29. My Sea Ray is a 1986 Pachanga. I know it is old but they are really cool boats. I was checking out ebay after I got home from the bar, not a good idea, and ended up buying it. It is 22' with the 350 mag, rather have the 454 but this one sounds really, really cool. Can get 60 mph on gps. I'm trying my first attempt at attaching a pic. The pic is not my boat, couldn't find a pic, but one just like it. Except mine has red graphics and a dark tint on the windshield. The boat had been stored in a heated warehouse since new, so it is in nice shape. I had to drive to Chicago to get it (10 hrs). http://forums.firehouse.com/attachme...tid=8196&stc=1
    Attached Images Attached Images  

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    KingHippo, you beat me to it. I saw "Cirrhosis of the River" moored on Crystal River in Florida in the mid 80's, and I've never heard of a better boat name.

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    Eh, I like "Mornin' Wood" better than "Cirhosis of the River."

    Not that it isn't good, just not better.
    "Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like." Will Rogers

    The borrower is slave to the lender. Proverbs 22:7 - Debt free since 10/5/2009.

    "No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session." - New York Judge Gideon Tucker

    "As Americans we must always remember that we all have a common enemy, an enemy that is dangerous, powerful and relentless. I refer, of course, to the federal government." - Dave Barry

    www.daveramsey.com www.clarkhoward.com www.heritage.org

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    Quote Originally Posted by dmleblanc
    Scaramouch? Scaramouche? Will you do the fandango?
    Thunderbolt & lightning very very frightning me!
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    A buddy of mine is a big into fishing for Shark. Named his boat JAWBREAKER

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    Then when your buddy gets competitive,you might end up owning a marina and your wife and kids cutting bait at 0430.
    That might not be a good thing.


    Quote Originally Posted by DaSharkie
    Me? I need to own a boat to name it. Which means that I need a truck to pull it. Which means the wife would have to say that is OK.......Which means I will never own a boat.

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