1. #26
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    One of our many fundraisers each year is bingo on Labor Day. Somewhere b/w last year and this year a bunch were lost for whatever reason nesseitating a new set (something that wouldhave to be approved at our association meeting). When we get to the item at hand

    Association president: "Can I get a motion for the township to buy a new set of balls?"

  2. #27
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    One of our neighboring departments had BC (now retired) who was a great guy, but had problems making himself understood at times. In fact, it was so common and funny that the guys started writing them down and eventually made a little book out of them for the men on the department to enjoy. The guy wasn't stupid, just had a hard time talking at times...

    - Over the radio: "Battalion 3 to Battalion 3....oops, that's me!"
    - "Battalion 3's on scene, fire showing from the esophagus" [Soffits]
    - "Battalion 3 to dispatch, replace Engine 12 on this call, I just ran into the back of them"
    - "Battalion 3 to Truck 19, come on down here and park in the cuddle-sack" [Cul-de-sac]
    - "Battalion 3, I'm on scene, looks like we have heavy black fire showing"
    - Once, when a member had really messed up, he advised another BC that he was headed down to give Lt Jones a real "***-chicken" [***-chewing]
    - A station ordered a gallon of paint. He replies that they can't possibly have a need for a GALLON of paint. Station then orders 4 quarts of paint. He commends them for figuring out what they really needed the paint for, and not ordering more than they needed.
    - "All we have is a medium pizza. Cut the slices smaller so everyone can have more."

    I've got to find my copy of that book now, ah, what great memories...
    Career Fire Captain
    Volunteer Chief Officer


    Never taking for granted that I'm privileged enough to have the greatest job in the world!

  3. #28
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    Had a car fire(came in as a car fire) a few years ago on the interstate that went like this

    D/C to dispatch: Can you give me a description of the vehicle
    Dispatch to D/C: Affirmative chief, its the one thats on fire

    Followed by several key-ups with laughter
    If your going to cry about doing the job you signed up for do us all a favor and quit, there are plenty of dedicated people standing in line for the best job in the world.

    Firefighter/Paramedic

  4. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by FiremanLyman View Post
    Your engine doesn't have windshield washer? How old is the turd you drive around?
    Quote Originally Posted by Firemedic 61 View Post
    Really? Thats part of the daily vehicle checks for us. What are you guys cruising around on, horse drawn engines?
    Your depts give you washer fluid.?? If we have it, it's because we bought it ourselves. Must be nice to have money to throw around...

  5. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by len1582 View Post
    Your depts give you washer fluid.?? If we have it, it's because we bought it ourselves. Must be nice to have money to throw around...
    You guys don't have Love Bugs up there
    If your going to cry about doing the job you signed up for do us all a favor and quit, there are plenty of dedicated people standing in line for the best job in the world.

    Firefighter/Paramedic

  6. #31
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    We have a frequent flier who lives in the trailer park. Actually, its a husband and wife who both like to ride in the ambulance. They both also have mental stability problems. With that said....this was the call one night

    Attention Sumner ambulance, attention Sumner ambulance you are needed at 300 Water Street, Lot #10, for a 36 year old male attempting suicide, Again. (Long pause by dispatcher because he realized what he said). Bremer county clear at 15:02.

  7. #32
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    Is it tradition to write quotes under the kitchen table? We do, it is like a historical log book of shenanigans. Each of our 7 stations takes part, though a tyrannical leader had one of the tables underside painted over.

    All quotes under the table give full credit to the person who said them and the date. Great ones, usually stuff taken out of context like "I love Jim's big Italian sausage" frequent the tables. Others like "We should go to Japan and help all those Chinese people" go under there too. Best are the patient contact ones "Wacka, Wacka" said to a dementia patient or asking an 80-year old with leg pain if she was "stung by a jellyfish?"

    Great tradition.
    ~Drew
    Firefighter/EMT/Technical Rescue
    USAR TF Rescue Specialist

  8. #33
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    From our chief after returning from a mutual aid fire with some of our less than competent neighbors to the west:


    "I've been to three county fairs and a goat f*ck and haven't seen chaos like that!"


    We have an old guy on the vollie department who has been around since a few years after the department was started.... Bob doesn't do much operationally, he will usually drive a tanker or fill air bottles but he does so much behind the scenes that if he ever retires there will be a huge hole in our department. He knows EVERYONE. I can go to conventions and classes out of state and when I say what department I'm from inevitably someone walks up and asks how bob's doing.

    Anyways, Bob isn't the brightest bulb on the tree and we keep a "Warnimonics Dictionary" at the firehouse.

    - Mausoleum - Mezzanine (As in, hey Wes run up to the mausoleum and grab some floor dry)

    - Dithent - Different

    - Schlamic - Islamic (We have a large mosque in our first due and he always says "schlamic center"

    - Ox's Gen - Oxygen

    There are a ton more that I will have to post next time I can look at it.



    A few months ago the county put this over the air "XYZ Fire Department respond to 123 Main Street for a person exhibiting all signs and symptoms of cardiac arrest" (the sad thing is, they weren't trying to be smart *****es, they are just that dumb)
    ------------------------------------
    These opinions are mine and do not reflect the opinions of any organizations I am affiliated with.
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  9. #34
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    LOL ^^^^^^^^^^^^those are some good ones when you know the people !
    IACOJ both divisions and PROUD OF IT !
    Pardon me sir.. .....but I believe we are all over here !
    ATTENTION ALL SHOPPERS: Will the dead horse please report to the forums.(thanks Motown)
    RAY WAS HERE 08/28/05
    LETHA' FOREVA' ! 010607
    I'm sorry, I haven't been paying much attention for the last 3 hours.....what were we discussing?
    "but I guarentee you I will FF your arse off" from>
    http://www.firehouse.com/forums/show...60#post1137060post 115

  10. #35
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    Heard during a blizzard, Battalion X is first on scene of a working fire. He gave an initial report, then we're supposed to give progress reports every 5-10 minutes.

    Radio to Batt. X: We need a progress report from the incident commander.
    Batt. X: Yeah, the fire's making good progress, we're still waiting for companies to arrive...
    Opinions expressed are mine alone, and do not necessarily reflect those of the Philadelphia Fire Department and/or IAFF Local 22.

  11. #36
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    When a FF got caught trying to check out two girls in the supermarket, the Captain said to him...."You looked like a one eyed cat watchin two gopher holes"
    Fire and EMS Shift Calendars and Day Planners
    www.bwprintworks.com

  12. #37
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    Wink

    Our DC once said, "I have a cellar fire in the basement"....That is better than a cellar fire in the attic i guess

  13. #38
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    A recent discussion between the Local President and Mayor of City in the area took place regarding some budget matters for the next fiscal year. If I recall correctly, the Local was proposing to restructure something related to health insurance that would save the City a decent amount and much more if adopted citywide.

    It went something like this:

    The Local President pitched the idea.

    Mayor: I'm sorry, the budget is done, it's too late.

    Local President: But......

    Mayor: We have no room in the budget for your savings.

    Local President: What?

    Mayor: There's no room in the budget for your savings.

    Local President: No room for our savings?

    Mayor: Yes.

  14. #39
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    When I was in the fire academy, we were doing ladder raises one day as the instructor was evaluating us on individual and group performance. We were doing straight ladders and one of the guys in my group who was normally a pretty good guy, raised the ladder up to the side of the training tower. The instructor eyed the ladder and noticed the recruit had raised it with the feet up on the tower. He looked at the recruit and asked "What kind of a ladder raise is THAT?? The recruit quickly noticed his mistake and without missing a beat, he deadpanned, "That's a basement raise Sir!" The instructor couldn't do anything but laugh.

  15. #40
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    We recently received this page," Fire Department you are needed for a fire, I will tell you where when you get enroute."

  16. #41
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    "you see the house that burned the shift before over there?"

    "which one?"

    "...the one that looks like it caught on %@#$&!% fire..."

    "oh yeah, I thought you meant a different one"
    Amateurs train until they get it right...Professionals train until they can't get it wrong

  17. #42
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    Volunteer dept stretched thin when several runs going at same time. Mini-pumper heading for grass fire along I-75 when a firefighter calls on the radio and asks "how many units do you have on that truck?"

    Answer from the mini-pumper driver "just mine".
    Last edited by LFD2203; 01-03-2012 at 10:54 PM. Reason: Punctuation error

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