Ways to maintain a healthy level of insanity...

**Proby1711** · 10-10-2005, 02:53 PM

Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars.... See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with That.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In".

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Sexual Favours"

7. Finish all Your Sentences With "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8. Dont use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner... "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

**LeuitEFDems** · 10-10-2005, 08:47 PM

You mean this behavior isn't normal? No wonder why I get weird looks all the time

**Proby1711** · 10-10-2005, 08:59 PM

Originally Posted by LeuitEFDems

You mean this behavior isn't normal? No wonder why I get weird looks all the time

Hahahaha.. I was thinking... 'What? 36 views & no replies?'... I knew I would get a comment sooner or later... you just made my night... cheers!!!

**MalahatTwo7** · 10-10-2005, 09:07 PM

#14 isnt such a far cry from the truth. I have on many occasions threatened my bosses by telling them that due to the number of "blades" flying around the office I was going to sand bag my desk in and run cam netting around it. I get the funniest looks from them when I say that. I dont know why.

**LeuitEFDems** · 10-10-2005, 09:19 PM

Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

Did that once...it was myself and the boss in the office at my old job...she comes in to my office to ask wtf I was doing...to find...

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In".

She just shook her head and mumbled something about needing a vaction or a drink as she was walking out...

**Proby1711** · 10-10-2005, 10:49 PM

Originally Posted by LeuitEFDems

She just shook her head and mumbled something about needing a vaction or a drink as she was walking out...

Hahahaha... I think I would need both...

Nice one, Leuit!

**stillPSFB** · 10-11-2005, 03:54 AM

Originally Posted by Proby1711

[B]Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity

Fly 24 hours long-haul into New Dehli, India and have no hotel reservation and no one there to meet you - if you weren't insane before you landed you will be very very shortly

**PattyV** · 10-11-2005, 05:34 AM

Fly 24 hours long-haul into New Dehli, India and have no hotel reservation and no one there to meet you - if you weren't insane before you landed you will be very very shortly

As if anyone could be that stupid...

**stillPSFB** · 10-12-2005, 07:08 AM

Originally Posted by PattyV

As if anyone could be that stupid...

Almost but not quite - my flight was only 17 hours.

**MalahatTwo7** · 10-12-2005, 08:22 AM

Or fly west from London, arrive in Calgary (first Canadian P.O.C for the flight) to clear Cdn customs. Only to be told that the nail file feature on nail cutters has to either be removed, the cutters left behind or you don't board the flight. I flew in from Dubai - where I went through 2 metal detectors BEFORE I got to the flight check-in. There were two more between the check in and the a/c too. That was followed by Customs at Heathrow, and a trip around on the inter-terminal bus.

Oh.. and the commissionaire who told me I couldnt carry the clippers was of East Indian descent, with limited English skills. What a way to end a 5 month Mid Eastern deployment. I think that was a true test of sanity. All I wanted was to just go home.

**DeputyChiefGonzo** · 10-12-2005, 09:43 AM

When you are in a store, make a purchase and the slaes clerk/cashier says "have a nice day", look at them straight in the eye and say with an evil grin...

"no thank you, I have other plans"....

**Proby1711** · 10-12-2005, 02:31 PM

Originally Posted by CaptainGonzo

When you are in a store, make a purchase and the slaes clerk/cashier says "have a nice day", look at them straight in the eye and say with an evil grin...

"no thank you, I have other plans"....

That's a classic, Gonzo... my hubby even laughed at that one!!!

**FlyingKiwi** · 10-12-2005, 06:31 PM

due to the number of "blades" flying around the office

We used to use the expression "BPS"

Bullet Proof Spine, for exactly that scenario.

**Ohiovolffemtp** · 10-12-2005, 07:25 PM

When someone asks you "how are you?", reply "mostly".

When the nurse in the ER asks the patient, "what brings you here?", answer "a big white ambulance" for them.

When someone says, "good morning", reply "prove it!!!"

**nbfcfireman** · 10-12-2005, 08:18 PM

Go into a store, give the clerk a penny and ask if you could have a new one

Go into a Laundromat and dump all the dollar bills you can get your hands onto. just make sure that everyone sees you do it. Your money laundering

**Proby1711** · 10-12-2005, 08:30 PM

Originally Posted by Ohiovolffemtp

When someone says, "good morning", reply "prove it!!!"

I usually finish that one with.. "You could'a fooled me!!"

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