1. #1
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    Default Ways to maintain a healthy level of insanity...

    Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity


    1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars.... See If They Slow Down.

    2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

    3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with That.

    4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In".

    5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.

    6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Sexual Favours"

    7. Finish all Your Sentences With "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

    8. Dont use any punctuation

    9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

    11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

    12. Sing Along At The Opera.

    13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme

    14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.

    17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"

    18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

    19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner... "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."


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    You mean this behavior isn't normal? No wonder why I get weird looks all the time
    The comments made by me are my opinions only, not of the Fire and EMS services I am affiliated with.

    I have lost my mind..has anyone seen it? it's not worth much..but it's mine

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by LeuitEFDems
    You mean this behavior isn't normal? No wonder why I get weird looks all the time
    Hahahaha.. I was thinking... 'What? 36 views & no replies?'... I knew I would get a comment sooner or later... you just made my night... cheers!!!

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    #14 isnt such a far cry from the truth. I have on many occasions threatened my bosses by telling them that due to the number of "blades" flying around the office I was going to sand bag my desk in and run cam netting around it. I get the funniest looks from them when I say that. I dont know why.
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

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    Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
    Did that once...it was myself and the boss in the office at my old job...she comes in to my office to ask wtf I was doing...to find...
    4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In".
    She just shook her head and mumbled something about needing a vaction or a drink as she was walking out...
    The comments made by me are my opinions only, not of the Fire and EMS services I am affiliated with.

    I have lost my mind..has anyone seen it? it's not worth much..but it's mine

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    Quote Originally Posted by LeuitEFDems
    She just shook her head and mumbled something about needing a vaction or a drink as she was walking out...
    Hahahaha... I think I would need both...

    Nice one, Leuit!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Proby1711
    [B]Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity
    Fly 24 hours long-haul into New Dehli, India and have no hotel reservation and no one there to meet you - if you weren't insane before you landed you will be very very shortly
    Busy polishing the stacked tips on the deckgun of I.A.C.O.J. Engine#1

    ...and before you ask - YES I have done a Bloody SEARCH!

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    Fly 24 hours long-haul into New Dehli, India and have no hotel reservation and no one there to meet you - if you weren't insane before you landed you will be very very shortly
    As if anyone could be that stupid...
    "There are only two things that i know are infinite, the universe and human stupidity. And im not so sure about the former."

    For all the life of me, i cant see a firefighter going to hell. At least not for very long. We would end up putting out all the fires and annoying the devil too much.

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    Quote Originally Posted by PattyV
    As if anyone could be that stupid...
    Almost but not quite - my flight was only 17 hours.
    Busy polishing the stacked tips on the deckgun of I.A.C.O.J. Engine#1

    ...and before you ask - YES I have done a Bloody SEARCH!

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    Or fly west from London, arrive in Calgary (first Canadian P.O.C for the flight) to clear Cdn customs. Only to be told that the nail file feature on nail cutters has to either be removed, the cutters left behind or you don't board the flight. I flew in from Dubai - where I went through 2 metal detectors BEFORE I got to the flight check-in. There were two more between the check in and the a/c too. That was followed by Customs at Heathrow, and a trip around on the inter-terminal bus.

    Oh.. and the commissionaire who told me I couldnt carry the clippers was of East Indian descent, with limited English skills. What a way to end a 5 month Mid Eastern deployment. I think that was a true test of sanity. All I wanted was to just go home.
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

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    When you are in a store, make a purchase and the slaes clerk/cashier says "have a nice day", look at them straight in the eye and say with an evil grin...

    "no thank you, I have other plans"....
    ‎"The education of a firefighter and the continued education of a firefighter is what makes "real" firefighters. Continuous skill development is the core of progressive firefighting. We learn by doing and doing it again and again, both on the training ground and the fireground."
    Lt. Ray McCormack, FDNY

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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainGonzo
    When you are in a store, make a purchase and the slaes clerk/cashier says "have a nice day", look at them straight in the eye and say with an evil grin...

    "no thank you, I have other plans"....
    That's a classic, Gonzo... my hubby even laughed at that one!!!
    Anita Nesbitt - Chef Extraordinaire
    Never Forget The Brothers - 343 - 9.11.01 - Always in our hearts...
    Stay safe... you never know whats round the next corner
    Go Yankees... Derek Jeter rules!!!
    Go Penguins... Crosby 87... #1 Draft Pick '05

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    due to the number of "blades" flying around the office
    We used to use the expression "BPS"

    Bullet Proof Spine, for exactly that scenario.
    Psychiatrists state 1 in 4 people has a mental illness.
    Look at three of your friends, if they are ok, your it.

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    When someone asks you "how are you?", reply "mostly".

    When the nurse in the ER asks the patient, "what brings you here?", answer "a big white ambulance" for them.

    When someone says, "good morning", reply "prove it!!!"
    Proud to be honored with IACOJ membership. Blessed by TWO meals cooked by Cheffie - a true culinary goddess. Expressing my own views, not my organization's.

  15. #15
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    Go into a store, give the clerk a penny and ask if you could have a new one

    Go into a Laundromat and dump all the dollar bills you can get your hands onto. just make sure that everyone sees you do it. Your money laundering

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ohiovolffemtp
    When someone says, "good morning", reply "prove it!!!"
    I usually finish that one with.. "You could'a fooled me!!"
    Anita Nesbitt - Chef Extraordinaire
    Never Forget The Brothers - 343 - 9.11.01 - Always in our hearts...
    Stay safe... you never know whats round the next corner
    Go Yankees... Derek Jeter rules!!!
    Go Penguins... Crosby 87... #1 Draft Pick '05

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