1. #1
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    PFire23's Avatar
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    Default "Thanks to All of You" for the Email warnings.

    I must add my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat poop in the
    glue on envelopes because I now have to get a wet towel for every
    envelope that needs sealing.

    Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
    I want to thank you who have taken the time and trouble to send me your
    chain letters over the past 12 months. Thank you for making me feel safe,
    secure, blessed, and wealthy.

    Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove
    toilet stains.

    I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our
    American troops or the Salvation Army.

    I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these
    products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.

    I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

    I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be poked
    with a needle infected with AIDS.

    I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a
    water buffalo on a hot day.

    I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a
    perfume sample and rob me.

    I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al
    Qaeda in disguise.

    I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number
    for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda,
    Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

    I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant
    freaks with no eyes or feathers.

    I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my
    free replacement pair from Nike.

    I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have
    their recipe.

    I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out
    for me and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.

    Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I
    forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five
    minutes.

    I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is
    dying in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).

    I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive
    the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in
    their special e-mail program.

    Yes, I want to thank you so much for looking out for me that I will now
    return the favor! If you don't forward this to at least 144,000 people in
    the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at
    5:00 PM(EDT) this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your
    back, causing you to grow a hairy hump.

    I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my
    next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's
    beautician.
    To the world you might be one person, but to one person you just might be the world.

    IACOJ-WOT proud

    GO WHITE SOX!!!!!

  2. #2
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    RspctFrmCalgary's Avatar
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    Default

    That's pretty funny
    September 11th - Never Forget

    I respect firefighters and emergency workers worldwide. Thank you for what you do.

    Sheri
    IACOJ CRUSTY CONVENTION CHAIR
    Honorary Flatlander

    RAY WAS HERE FIRST

  3. #3
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    Default

    more than pretty funny. darn funny

  4. #4
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    Default

    Hey, Jenn......Thanks for the laugh!
    Chief
    Wren Volunteer Fire Department
    IACOJ
    Southern Division

    http://www.wrenfiredepartment.4t.com/

    In Memory of:
    FireFighter/Pilot James Archer
    1946-2005
    "Rest in peace James, you now have the ultimate set of wings on you."

    Thanks, LeuitEFDems

  5. #5
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    Default

    ROFLMAO !!!!!!!!!!!! Good one Jenn !
    IACOJ both divisions and PROUD OF IT !
    Pardon me sir.. .....but I believe we are all over here !
    ATTENTION ALL SHOPPERS: Will the dead horse please report to the forums.(thanks Motown)
    RAY WAS HERE 08/28/05
    LETHA' FOREVA' ! 010607
    I'm sorry, I haven't been paying much attention for the last 3 hours.....what were we discussing?
    "but I guarentee you I will FF your arse off" from>
    http://www.firehouse.com/forums/show...60#post1137060post 115

  6. #6
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    Default

    Don't thank me, I found it in my email box and thought I'd share the laugh. Glad you all are enjoying it !
    To the world you might be one person, but to one person you just might be the world.

    IACOJ-WOT proud

    GO WHITE SOX!!!!!

  7. #7
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    Default

    well there is a chain email that i do actually find funny.

    i tend to ridicule and harass any friends that send me those stupid chain emails until they finally learn not to send them to me.
    "There are only two things that i know are infinite, the universe and human stupidity. And im not so sure about the former."

    For all the life of me, i cant see a firefighter going to hell. At least not for very long. We would end up putting out all the fires and annoying the devil too much.

  8. #8
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    Talking

    That was great! LOL!

    Quote Originally Posted by PFire23
    I must add my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat poop in the
    glue on envelopes because I now have to get a wet towel for every
    envelope that needs sealing.

    Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
    ...

    Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove
    toilet stains.

    ...

    I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these
    products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.
    Do you have any idea of how many insects you will eat each year? The health department even has a list of how many parts of insects are allowed to be in food products. Also insects live all over us and we swallow them in our sleep.

    So if you won't drink coca cola products or pepsi, what do you drink for soda?

    An education is only wasted when the taught individual chooses not to recognize the value of the lesson.

  9. #9
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    Default

    But wait! There is more!


    We are all still on the lookout for Penny Brown, the world's most-kidnapped girl, who has been nine years old for 4 years now. http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/missing/penny.asp

    We have updated our SOG's to reflect deep, spirited coughing as a means of warding off cardiac arrest. Sometimes we just cough for the patient when we don't feel like doing CPR; it's just as good!
    http://www.snopes.com/toxins/coughcpr.htm

    We know that we can't let our children watch Disney's "The Little Mermaid" because it has a big picture of a you-know-what drawn into the castle.
    http://www.snopes.com/disney/films/mermaid.htm

    And because the minister at the wedding has a you-know-what.
    http://www.snopes.com/disney/films/minister.htm

    And finally, we know to avoid the burgers at McDonald's 'cause they got worms in 'em.
    http://www.snopes.com/horrors/food/wormburg.asp
    "Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet.
    --General James Mattis, USMC


  10. #10
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    Default

    Jenn;
    Don't op..
    Too late.
    CR
    Visit www.iacoj.com
    Remember Bradley Golden (9/25/01)
    RIP HOF Robert J. Compton(ENG6511)

  11. #11
    55 Years & Still Rolling
    hwoods's Avatar
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    Glenn Dale Md, Heart of the P.G. County Fire Belt....
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    Talking HaHaHaHaHa.................... ........

    HaHa HaHa HaHa HaHa HaHa HaHa HaHa HaHa HaHa HaHa.

    Why? Because my reply had to be at least ten words long.
    Never use Force! Get a Bigger Hammer.
    In memory of
    Chief Earle W. Woods, 1912 - 1997
    Asst. Chief John R. Woods Sr. 1937 - 2006

    IACOJ Budget Analyst

    I Refuse to be a Spectator. If I come to the Game, I'm Playing.

    www.gdvfd18.com

  12. #12
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    Default

    Hey Pfire.

    Did I send you the email about the PEBCAK disease.

    National Safety Alert (state... Duck and quack).

    A distinguishing virus abounds now that computers are interlinked via TCP/IP networks using IP Framework and UDP messaging, commonly called "The Net".

    This methodlogy can not be contained by firewall, pop-up blocking or anti-virus software.

    At its worst it can be seen by searching under the words Trojan and Horse

    PEBCAK is an acronym used to describe

    Problem
    Exists
    Between
    Chair
    And
    Keyboard

    It is purely an INTERFACE issue.


    YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

    And George (aka CFI) will NOT find it at www.snopes.com.

    Just remeber, the bad news was here first.
    Psychiatrists state 1 in 4 people has a mental illness.
    Look at three of your friends, if they are ok, your it.

  13. #13
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by FlyingKiwi
    Hey Pfire.

    Did I send you the email about the PEBCAK disease.

    National Safety Alert (state... Duck and quack).

    A distinguishing virus abounds now that computers are interlinked via TCP/IP networks using IP Framework and UDP messaging, commonly called "The Net".

    This methodlogy can not be contained by firewall, pop-up blocking or anti-virus software.

    At its worst it can be seen by searching under the words Trojan and Horse

    PEBCAK is an acronym used to describe

    Problem
    Exists
    Between
    Chair
    And
    Keyboard

    It is purely an INTERFACE issue.


    YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

    And George (aka CFI) will NOT find it at www.snopes.com.

    Just remeber, the bad news was here first.
    I think the interface issue might be in his brain!

    Quote Originally Posted by ThNozzleMan
    Why? Because we are firemen. We are decent human beings. We would be compelled by the overwhelming impulse to save an innocent child from a tragic, painful death because in the end, we are MEN.

    I A C O J
    FTM-PTB


    Honorary Disclaimer: While I am a manufacturer representative, I am not here to sell my product. Any advice or knowledge shared is for informational purposes only. I do not use Firehouse.Com for promotional purposes.

  14. #14
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by needlejockey
    more than pretty funny. darn funny
    Or maybe even....."PRETTY DARN FUNNY!!!"?

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