For all you Southern boys and girls.....

[arhaney]

A friend of mine E-mailed this to me, thought it was worth sharing!
Enjoy!

SOUTHERNISMS....


"Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit."

"He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down."

"Have a cup of coffee--it's already been 'saucered and blowed.'"

"She's so stuck up, she'd drown in a rainstorm."

"It's so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs."

"My cow died last night, so I don't need your bull."

"He's as country as cornflakes."

"This is gooder'n grits.."

"If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it."

"I'm 'bout as:" "Nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs." "Busy as a moth in a mitten." "Happy as a clam at high tide."

Notice to Northerners moving to the South: Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed on how to use it shortly. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean Southerners can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows... If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four-wheel pick-up with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

You can ask Southerners for directions, but unless you already know the position of key hills, trees and rocks, you're better off trying to find it yourself.

Remember: Y'all is singular. All y'all is plural. All y'all's is plural possessive.

Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?"

Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you either.

The first Southern _expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big ol", as in "big ol truck", or "big ol boy". "Fixin'" (as in "I'm fixin' to go to the store") is 2nd, and "Y'all" is 3rd

As you are cursing the person driving 15 mph in a 55 mph zone directly in the middle of the road, remember: ALL Southern folks learned to drive on a John Deere, and this is the proper speed and lane position for that vehicle....

If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!", get out of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say, or worse still, that you will ever hear.

Most Southerners do not use turn signals; they ignore those who do. In fact if you see a signal blinking on a car with a Southern license plate, you may rest assured that it was already turned on when the car was purchased.

If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let alone eating.

The wardrobe you always brought out in September can wait until December.

If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the most minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It does not matter if you need anything from the store. It is just something you're supposed to do.

Satellite dishes are very popular in the South. When you purchase one, it is positioned directly in front of the house. This is logical, bearing in mind that the dish cost considerably more than the house and should, therefore, be prominently displayed.

Be advised that in the South, "He needed killin'" is a valid defense.

[needlejockey]

what? this stuff ain't true? nah.

[spearsm]

A friend of mine E-mailed this to me, thought it was worth sharing!
Enjoy!

SOUTHERNISMS....
... If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four-wheel pick-up with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for. The Southern equal to NASCAR pitcrew
As you are cursing the person driving 15 mph in a 55 mph zone directly in the middle of the road, remember: ALL Southern folks learned to drive on a John Deere, and this is the proper speed and lane position for that vehicle....

If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the most minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It does not matter if you need anything from the store. It is just something you're supposed to do.HOW TRUE, HOW TRUE

Be advised that in the South, "He needed killin'" is a valid defense.

Thanks for the laugh...

[ullrichk]

None of that wold be funny if it weren't true!

[stillPSFB]

Strewth for a minute there I thought he was taking the **** out of us Down Under people, but then I realised that he didn't mean that far south.

[PattyV]

actually when i come to think of it, we say 'Y'all' as much as the rednecks do. We just dont accentuate it as much. It seems more fluid and part of the speech though.

[redneckemt]

Yep, That's the truth. I wish stuff like this was required reading for yankees moving down here, it would solve so many problems.


Oh, and "Hey YA'll Watch This" translates to get the phone ready to call 911!!!

[jce51cfd]

As a yankee,

That's Hysterical!!!!

[RoughRider]

Forgetaboutit !!!

[fflynn17]

Forgetaboutit !!!

Isn't it "Fuggitaboutit"

[doughesson]

Anyone piling off one of our rigs and says"Hey y'all,watch this!" get pulled aside and assigned to run the accountability board.
We don't need anyone getting hurt and maybe taking others with him to the veterinarian's office.

Yep, That's the truth. I wish stuff like this was required reading for yankees moving down here, it would solve so many problems.


Oh, and "Hey YA'll Watch This" translates to get the phone ready to call 911!!!

[ves9102]

This is nothing but the truth!
Here is a quiz:
How can you tell a southern girl from a northern girl?

Northern girls say...."You Can"

Southern girls say..."Y'all Can!"

[DeputyChiefGonzo]

One of out guys just retired after 35 years on "da job" and moved to South Carolina. He said that he understands about every third word his neighbors say, then he just fills in the blanks until he can get a working knowledge of what he calls "rebel English!"

[skyraider]

Last year I had a reunion w/ some college roommates...it had been 20 years since we had seen each other. One roommate said that back then I had such a bad southern drawl that it took a year before they could understand anything I said. They said they just nodded a lot when I talked and prayed that I'd hurry and shut up since it took me so long to say anything...


I've been out of south since college and don't have an accent anymore but for some reason I can't shake the "fixin' to" and "y'all." But I'll always be a Georgia Peach!

I disagree w/ the singular "y'all," though....we use it as a plural...not singular...but y'all get a kick out of joking about it...... Having said that...most of that stuff is true! Surprised there wasn't anything about gunracks!


PS...Captain...I miss your old avatar!

[RyanEMVFD]

I resemble that remark.

[SFD3468]

Speaking of gun rack, I reckon it's about time to put mine back in my truck, seein' how huntin' season's fixin' to come back in...

[redneckemt]

Speaking of gun rack, I reckon it's about time to put mine back in my truck, seein' how huntin' season's fixin' to come back in...

Why take it out in the first place? It adds character!!!

[MalahatTwo7]

Ok... time to stop reading funny posts while still in the office. It's gonna get me some real trouble soon. Good thing its still lunch time!

[CJMinick390]

I think the "y'all and all Y'all" is a regional thing. Yes, there are sub regions within the south. Having grown up in Maryland, one of those confounded "border states" and in the western (appalachian) part of the state at that, I can honestly say I've been able to understand (for the most part) just about everyone I've run into. I guess I need to travel more.

[skyraider]

Hey Redneck...you decoratin' for Christmas already????