1. #1
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    Default Chemistry Of A Woman

    Element : Woman
    Symbol : Wo (woe is me)
    Atomic mass : Accepted as 53.6 kg may vary from 40 - 200 kg
    Occurrence : Plentiful quantities in all urban areas

    Physical properties :
    1. Surface usually covered in painted film
    2. Boils at nothing, freezes without any known reason
    3. Melts if given special treatment
    4. Bitter if incorrectly used
    5. Found in various states, ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
    6. Yields to pressure applied at correct pints

    Chemical properties :
    1. Has great affinity for gold, silver and a range of precious stones
    2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
    3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known
    reason
    4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increases by
    saturation in alcohol
    5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man

    Common uses :
    1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars
    2. Can be a great aid to relaxation
    3. Very effective cleaning agent

    Test :
    1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state
    2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen

    Potential hazards :
    1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
    2. Illegal to posses more than one, although several can be
    maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come
    into direct contact with each other.

    Warning
    PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS ELEMENT CAN CAUSE SEVERE PHYSICAL,
    MENTAL, AND FINANCIAL DAMAGE
    You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the duct tape.

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    LMFAO!!

    Id show this too my wife but Im not sure I would like the chemical reaction.
    Fire Marshal/Safety Officer

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    Failure is when fantasy meets reality

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dave1983
    LMFAO!!

    Id show this too my wife but Im not sure I would like the chemical reaction.

    I know I wouldn't like the reaction my spousal unit would display.
    NREMT-P\ Reserve Volunteer Firefighter\Reserve Police Officer
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    I havent seen that list in a long long time.
    3. Melts if given special treatment
    is ooohhh sooo true eheehehehee
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

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    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

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    too complicated to use efficiantly
    Attached Images Attached Images  

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    Default Mathematical proof that women are evil

    Women = Evil

    Here’s the proof:

    Women = Time

    We all know that Time = Money

    Time = Money

    We can rewrite the equation, thus:

    Women = Money x Money

    A simpler expression:

    Women = Money2

    Because we know that money is the root of all evil:
    _______
    Money = √ Evil

    We can thus use substitution:
    _________
    Money = √ (Evil)2

    Finally, simplifying our equation provides:

    Women = Evil
    "Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like." Will Rogers

    The borrower is slave to the lender. Proverbs 22:7 - Debt free since 10/5/2009.

    "No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session." - New York Judge Gideon Tucker

    "As Americans we must always remember that we all have a common enemy, an enemy that is dangerous, powerful and relentless. I refer, of course, to the federal government." - Dave Barry

    www.daveramsey.com www.clarkhoward.com www.heritage.org

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    Every word is true,my friend.
    On the river,it is a well known fact that boats and women are a lot alike.Getting one doesn't cost much but the jewelry(aka rigging on towboats)for both will run you to the poorhouse.

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    once again to complicated...
    Attached Images Attached Images  
    NEVER FORGET!
    9/11/01

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    Here is your proof on paper....
    Attached Images Attached Images  
    NEVER FORGET!
    9/11/01

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    Rotflmao!! :d :d :d

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    Quote Originally Posted by FDNY101TRUCK
    once again to complicated...

    Hey, she missed some stores!
    An education is only wasted when the taught individual chooses not to recognize the value of the lesson.

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    Wink

    Quote Originally Posted by nozzelvfd
    Chemical properties :
    3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known
    reason

    Potential hazards :
    1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
    2. Illegal to posses more than one, although several can be
    maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come
    into direct contact with each other.

    Warning
    PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS ELEMENT CAN CAUSE SEVERE PHYSICAL,
    MENTAL, AND FINANCIAL DAMAGE

    Explode spontaneously~well this list would if she didn't take it as a joke(there is always a reason, we just don't always want to tell you what it is. )

    Umm potential hazards is a bit flawed, it should be~Illegal to posses more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not 'ever have knowledge of each other.'

    I take though your "specimen" is always highly dangerous and needs to relocated into experienced hands.
    An education is only wasted when the taught individual chooses not to recognize the value of the lesson.

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    Quote Originally Posted by JorieH
    Hey, she missed some stores!
    No, that was the coffee shop and the bathroom. Those will be hit on the way out!
    Shawn M. Cecula
    Firefighter
    IACOJ Division of Fire and EMS

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    Talking

    Quote Originally Posted by Lewiston2Capt
    No, that was the coffee shop and the bathroom. Those will be hit on the way out!
    LOL!
    But, the coffee shop would either be first of half way through so there was an extra bust of energy during the shopping.

    Gosh darnit, I was actually going to go the mall today but I've been on the computer to long and soon I'm going to class. Oh, guess I'm going tomarrow. Lord knows I can spend at least 3 hours in one store(not the large department ones either). At least I never ask the men in my life to buy me things(except daddy ), always with my own money and I've made a promise never to ask a guy 'Does this make me look fat?'~stupidest question to ever ask a guy. Ya either won't here the answer you like or it's not the truth, I figure if you're wondering then the answere is "YES, That makes you look fat; not PHAT, but FAT!" Hmm also prefer to shop alone, ya could miss something when you're with someone else and then no ones waiting outside the dressing room for ya.
    An education is only wasted when the taught individual chooses not to recognize the value of the lesson.

  15. #15
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    http://www.flashfunpages.com/couple.swf

    Have some good chuckles gents and ladies.
    "Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like." Will Rogers

    The borrower is slave to the lender. Proverbs 22:7 - Debt free since 10/5/2009.

    "No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session." - New York Judge Gideon Tucker

    "As Americans we must always remember that we all have a common enemy, an enemy that is dangerous, powerful and relentless. I refer, of course, to the federal government." - Dave Barry

    www.daveramsey.com www.clarkhoward.com www.heritage.org

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    This a good one DaSharkie, well I though so, but wife didn't....LOL.
    You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the duct tape.

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    Quote Originally Posted by DaSharkie
    http://www.flashfunpages.com/couple.swf

    Have some good chuckles gents and ladies.
    LOL! Ooooo I live that I'm going to email that to all my girl friends!
    An education is only wasted when the taught individual chooses not to recognize the value of the lesson.

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    Quote Originally Posted by nozzelvfd
    This a good one DaSharkie, well I though so, but wife didn't....LOL.
    Doesn't matter what she thinks about it now does it?

    It does matter if you continue to enjoy it and talk about it, you might get the cold shoulder.

    All because the truth hurts. Tell her my wife even said so - she gets no backup within the sisterhood.
    "Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like." Will Rogers

    The borrower is slave to the lender. Proverbs 22:7 - Debt free since 10/5/2009.

    "No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session." - New York Judge Gideon Tucker

    "As Americans we must always remember that we all have a common enemy, an enemy that is dangerous, powerful and relentless. I refer, of course, to the federal government." - Dave Barry

    www.daveramsey.com www.clarkhoward.com www.heritage.org

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by DaSharkie
    http://www.flashfunpages.com/couple.swf

    Have some good chuckles gents and ladies.
    LOL...that was funny...but isn't MEN who don't listen?? Yeah, I think so...

    Quote Originally Posted by FDNY101TRUCK
    once again to complicated...
    No way would that be my route...I only go to he mall if I HAVE TO.
    Last edited by Co11FireGal; 11-12-2005 at 01:51 AM.
    IACOJ

    "And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap it if we do not lose heart."

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    Most men down here call their other half "dearest" because they reckon that she is the dearest thing they own - one of my mates said "I can't afford a house because she costs me too much".
    Busy polishing the stacked tips on the deckgun of I.A.C.O.J. Engine#1

    ...and before you ask - YES I have done a Bloody SEARCH!

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