1. #1
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    Default The Rindercella Story... by Ronnie Barker.

    In memory of a great man -Ronnie Barker. RIP

    -----This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the seventies. Ronnie Barker could say all this without a s****** (though god knows how many takes). The irony is that they received not one complaint. The speed of delivery must have been too much for most. Try getting through it without converting the spoonerisms as you read ..

    This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.

    Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot.

    At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered.

    The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers;they had fetty sweet and fetty swannies. The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.

    Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared. Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks

    The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise, there would be a cucking falamity.

    At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when suddenly the clock struck twelve. "Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping her slass glipper.

    The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and the sugly isters let him in. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let off a fig bart. "Who's fust jarted??" asked the prandsome hince. "Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge. When the stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk.

    Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and a hig bard on.

    He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly.

    Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny.
    Psychiatrists state 1 in 4 people has a mental illness.
    Look at three of your friends, if they are ok, your it.

  2. #2
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    Default

    I started failing two lines in and it went downhill from there
    "There are only two things that i know are infinite, the universe and human stupidity. And im not so sure about the former."

    For all the life of me, i cant see a firefighter going to hell. At least not for very long. We would end up putting out all the fires and annoying the devil too much.

  3. #3
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    Too Mucking Fuch
    Last edited by MalahatTwo7; 11-22-2005 at 01:45 PM.
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

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    This was on the gong show back in the seventies. If I remember correctly, the guy did it standing on his head, but his face was made up to look like it was right side up. So, his mouth was doing some wicked wierd expressions to add to the cucking falamity.
    There goes the neighborhood.

  5. #5
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    Actually it was the "The Two Ronnies" show.
    Ronnie Corbet
    Ronnie Barker


    The "Goon Show" stared
    Harry Secombe
    Spike Milligan
    Peter Sellers (Aka the "Pink Panther" detective movies)
    Michael Bentine.
    Psychiatrists state 1 in 4 people has a mental illness.
    Look at three of your friends, if they are ok, your it.

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    If you want to listen to the Goon Show and a favourite of mine "Round the Horn" tap into the BBC radio 7 "Listen Again"-I am listenening to it now as I type-Majic!

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    There was a Miss America contestent years ago who told the story for her talent competition.

    She used "sisty uglers", 'gairy modfothers" and "stecked mickwother" and didn't get into any foul language implied or otherwise.

    It's still a great story.
    Steve Dragon
    FFII, Fire Instructor II, Fire Officer I, Fire Appartus Driver Operator Certified
    Volunteers are never "off duty".
    http://www.bufd7.org

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