1. #1
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    Default Christmas is cancelled.

    Hmmmm.....
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    Psychiatrists state 1 in 4 people has a mental illness.
    Look at three of your friends, if they are ok, your it.

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    ROFLMAO. That was great I needed a good laugh
    Training does not make perfect. Training makes permanent!

    IACOJ probie

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    No christmas! Great, just great. What do I do with all these presents now?
    Fire Marshal/Safety Officer

    IAAI-NFPA-IAFC/VCOS-Retired IAFF

    "No his mind is not for rent, to any god or government"
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    Failure is when fantasy meets reality

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    Only in Kiwi-Land eh? LOL
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

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    'Twas the night after Christmas and all through the trailer,the beer had gone flat and the pizza was staler.
    The stockings hung empty,no candy or toys,my wife was crying and I was camped out in my old Lazee boy.
    The kids,they weren't talking to me or my wife,said it was the worst Christmas they had ever known.
    When out in the yard,the dog started barking and there at the door stood Sheriff Larkin.
    He said"Roy,I am sworn to uphold the laws and I got a complaint from a feller named Claus"
    "Claus?"I sez"I don't know no Claus and you ain't takin me in without probable cause."
    He said"The man was shot at last night"and I said "Well that might have been me,just what's this fella look like?"
    He said'He wears a suit of red with a big white beard and a big belly that shakes like a bowlful of cherries"
    I said"Sheriff,that sounds like my wife's sister Sherry"
    He said "It's no time for jokin,Roy.Tell me what you done and tell me what you seen."
    Well,I started to lie but then I thought"What the hail,wouldn't be the first time I'd spent New Year's in jail"So I said"Sheriff it happened last night about 10 and I thought my wife had been drinking again.My wife was walking home from the beauty shop and said a herd of deer flew over her head and landed on the roof of our good neighbor Red.
    I went out to see and the sight,didn't it make me shudder,for a freezer full of venison was a-standing in Ol' Red's gutter.
    My hands were a-shaking as I grabbed my gun,when out of Red's chimney,this feller did run.
    He was carrying a pack filled to overflowin and I thought to myself "He's stolen Ol Red's stuff while O'l Red was out bowlin."
    So I yell out'Drop it fat boy,hands up in the air.'but he went about his business like he hadn't a care.
    So I popped a warning shot over his head,shoot you shoulda seen him jump into that sled.
    And as he flew off into the night,I could hear him exhort"That's assault with intent Roy!I'll see you in court!"
    C'mon Sheriff,we've known each other for years.You know if they subpoena me I ain't gonna show up.I'll hole up in the cellar and you'll never root me out.Why don't you shut off your motor,come on inside and have some Easter Bunny stew and we'll talk about how you can catch that Tooth fairy breaking and entering......
    Last edited by doughesson; 11-30-2005 at 06:02 PM.

  6. #6
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    Doug.

    Good call.

    Anyone else get P!ssed off at this time of year?
    Psychiatrists state 1 in 4 people has a mental illness.
    Look at three of your friends, if they are ok, your it.

  7. #7
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    Default Not ****ed off yet but....

    I start back at work in the Police Comms Centre this afternoon after my break. Wonder what time the first call about people fighting over the last XBox in the store will come in...
    United Kingdom branch, IACOJ.

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    Quote Originally Posted by martinm
    I start back at work in the Police Comms Centre this afternoon after my break. Wonder what time the first call about people fighting over the last XBox in the store will come in...

    About 10 seconds after the door opens (and the last one is sold....)
    Be safe y'all!
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    There was someone reportedly stabbed here over one just about a week ago. Freakin' morons.
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  10. #10
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    Back to why Christmas is cancelled.
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    PARENTAL ADVISORY
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    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

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    I was in Memphis visiting my folks last week and watched the news about how people were lining up for hours before the store opened and fighting over items that are in high demand this year.The terms"Combat shopping"and "full contact shopping"came to mind quite readily.
    I was glad I wasn't still working for my old security guard compnay as I would be the guy yelling"Come ON,people,these are not the last ones ever to be made.Wait and they'll bring more out for you!"
    This is why I don't shop for Christmas unless I see that the crowds have thinned out some.I don't like getting jostled.
    Quote Originally Posted by martinm
    I start back at work in the Police Comms Centre this afternoon after my break. Wonder what time the first call about people fighting over the last XBox in the store will come in...

  13. #13
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    If any of Jeff Foxworthy's albums make it down that way,you out to listen to his"Crank it Up".At least I think that's the one that has that bit for the last cut.It's much funnier when you hear his voice doing it.


    Quote Originally Posted by FlyingKiwi
    Doug.

    Good call.

    Anyone else get P!ssed off at this time of year?

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