1. #1
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    Default Happy (NEWFIE) Valentines Day Y'all!

    Fer Me Wife

    I writes ta say I loves ya by!
    Cause I don't say it very much
    Everytime I tries ta cuddle ya
    Ya says GET A WAY, DON'T TOUCH!

    I tried ta be more gentle
    Took me rubbers off outside
    When I tells ya where I was last nite
    Ya always tinks I lied

    Ya knows I loves me Fishin
    Ya knows I loves me boat!
    But you're da life preserver
    I needs to stay afloat!

    So I got ya sometin really nice
    How much, please don't ***
    But you'll find it a lot easier now
    When ya goes ta cut da grass!

    Just pull da cord,stand behind
    Steer her as you go
    Next Valentines I'll get ya sometin
    Dat helps ya shovel snow!

    So keep up da cookin and cleanin
    You're de only one I got
    To keep me duds all washed and clean
    And me coffee always hot!

    You knows dat I appreciates
    Your home made buns and bread
    And I hope dat it continues on
    Till one of us is dead!

    So happy happy Valentines
    And here's your real big treat
    Bring me Beer, Get over here
    Sit down and rub me feet.
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

  2. #2
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    Default

    BEWARE OF LOVE A Valentine's Day JHA

    Few activities pose greater hazards than falling in love! It all starts with a fall. Those who fall deepest in love fall hardest. When love enters your life it takes your breath away. Not only do you lose the ability to breathe, you risk breaking a vital organ – your heart. Cupid's arrow can leave permanent scars. And then there's the whole kissing thing. Think of the germs!

    Music makers and singers are particularly adept at recognizing the hazards of love. Here is a brief quiz to see if you can figure out the songs from which the following hazards derive. Good luck:

    NAME THAT TUNE
    Songs that Reveal the Hazards of Love

    1. What happens when a sweetheart doesn't use a lifeline.

    2. What happens when you let a love song go unguarded.

    3. Why love and fire shouldn't mix.

    4. Why sweethearts needs respirators.

    5. Proof that sweethearts are prone to risky behavior.

    6. Simply put: Why you should stay away from love.


    Answers: to follow

    MEET THE REAL ST. VALENTINE

    St. Valentine: Lost his head for love.
    The historical personage after whom the day of love was named was a priest who lived in Rome in the third century A.D. at the height of the persecutions against Christians. Legend says that Valentine performed secret marriages in defiance of Emperor Claudius II's ban on marriage. Claudius enacted the crazy law to aid in army recruitment efforts - you see, single men had fewer qualms about joining up than men with a wife and kids. Anyway, Valentine got caught and was thrown into the dungeon.

    The inmate became a magnet for young visitors smitten with love, among them the daughter of one of his guards. The two would sit in Valentine's cell and talk for hours. Valentine preached the importance of love. On the day he was led off to be beheaded - February 14, 269 - he wrote his friend a little note, thanking her for her friendship and loyalty. The note was signed "Love from your Valentine." It was a hallmark moment.


    QUIZ ANSWERS:

    1. I Fall to Pieces, by Patsy Cline

    2. Unchained Melody, by Hy Zaret

    3. Smoke Gets in Your Eyes, by Otto A. Harbach

    4. You Take My Breath Away, by Claire Hamill

    5. Absence of Fear, by Jewel Kilcher

    6. Love Hurts, by Boudleaux Bryant

    Based on this evidence, on Valentine's Day, we should all wear fall protection, a respirator and safety goggles. And stay away from persons evoking strong emotions.
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

  3. #3
    Temporarily/No Longer Active

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    Dec 2005
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    Talking Happy Anti-Valentine's day

    I don't know why i bother. Will i get a card? Probably not. Will I get candy or a gift? Probably not. Will I get *censored*? Probably not. Oh well. At least I gave up smoking, to give my BF the gift of a longer life so I can annoy him to death... blah. :P

    Happy VDAY!!

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