Ouch

[FlyingKiwi]

Mrs. Jones Accident

Mr. Jones gets a call from the hospital. They tell him
his wife's been in a terrible car accident. He rushes
to the hospital, runs in to the ER and says his wife's
been in an accident. They tell him Dr. Smith is handling
the case. They page the doctor. He comes out to the
waiting room to see a terribly upset Mr. Jones.

"Mr. Jones?" the doctor asks.

"Yes sir, what's happened? How is my wife?" The doctor
sits next to him and says, "Not good news. Your wife's
accident resulted in two fractures of her spine."

"Oh my God," says Mr. Jones, "what will be her prognosis?"

"Well, Mr. Jones, her vital signs are stable. However,
her spine is inoperable. She'll have no motor skills
or capability. This means you will have to feed her."
Mr. Jones begins to sob.

"And you'll have to turn her in her bed every two hours
to prevent pneumonia." Mr. Jones begins to wail and
cry loudly.

"Then, of course," the doctor continued, "you'll have
to diaper her as she'll have no control over her bladder
and of course these diapers must be changed at least
five times a day." Mr. Jones begins to shake as he
cries, sobs, wails.

The doctor continues, "And you'll have to clean up her
feces on a regular basis as she'll have no control over
her sphincter. Her bowels will engorge whenever and
quite often I'm afraid. Of course you must clean her
immediately to avoid accumulation of the putrid effluent
she'll be emitting regularly."

Now Mr. Jones is convulsing sobbing uncontrollably and
beginning to wither off the bench into a sobbing pitiful
mass. Just then Dr. Smith reaches out his hand and pats
Mr. Jones on the shoulder. "Hey, I'm just joking with
you, she's dead."

[275fbvfd]

is it sad i find that frickin hilarious!!??

[NYSmokey]

Gallows humor at its best

[MalahatTwo7]

Mmm thats something the morticians might have said to us when I was doing body calls, back home.



**Imangine the relief to find out you wouldn't have to do all the extra work!**

[waterboy1]

I don't care what anyone says, Thats funny, not right but funny

[lvwrench]

Maybe it is just a little macabe but after 37 years of marriage the peace and quiet would be a blessing.

[BFDLT32]

My actual thought for the punch line was going to be "so what else is new"

[Shoreman22]

WARNING WILL ROBINSON!! DOCTOR SMITH!! DANGER!!

"After further review, the call on the field stands - it's funny!!"