1. #1
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    FlyingKiwi's Avatar
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    Default Ventriloquist tricks.

    (Ventriloquism is an act of deception in which a person (a ventriloquist) manipulates his or her voice so that it appears that the voice is coming from elsewhere. )

    ---------

    A Kiwi ventriloquist is visiting Australia, walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog.

    He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Aussie "G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?"

    Villager: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Kiwi."

    Ventriloquist: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?"

    Dog: "Doin' all right."

    Aussie: (look of extreme shock)

    Ventriloquist: "Is this villager your owner?" (pointing at the villager)

    Dog: "Yep"

    Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"

    Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play."

    Aussie: (look of utter disbelief)

    Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"

    Aussie: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either....I think."

    Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"

    Horse: "Cool"

    Aussie: (absolutely dumbfounded)

    Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at the villager)

    Horse: "Yep"


    Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

    Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."

    Aussie: (total look of amazement)

    Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"

    Aussie: (in a panic) "The sheep's a liar."
    Psychiatrists state 1 in 4 people has a mental illness.
    Look at three of your friends, if they are ok, your it.

  2. #2
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    MalahatTwo7's Avatar
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    Default

    Now the question is begging to be asked:

    Was that a Kiwi Sheep or an Auzzie Sheep?
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

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