1. #1
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    Default Pooping on calls

    May be an old thread but lately it's been bad. How many of you have had to crap on a run? What is an acceptable crap load? Seems like lately it's been bad for me. Last shift we had NO (rare) calls after midnite, had calzones for dinner. At 0530 had a run for injured person, she was writhing in pain from a displaced humerus fx and I was crapping on the toilet 6 ft away from the room. I couldn't stop for probably 5 mins which delayed pain meds for her. Anyone with similar excperiences?

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    I gotta laugh. Firstly, I suppose its safe to say NOTHING is sacred in the Firehouse. And secondly..... no. I have not had the experience, and hope it never comes to me either. Had to wizz a few times, but those were MVA calls, while standing in the middle of the road, in a rain storm, doing traffic control. No one notices a little extra "water" on the road.....

    ddooo.... ddaaa dddoooo...... "just sing'n in the rain...."
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    ROFLOL

    No I can't say that I've ever had that experience, but Wag, you have my deepest sympathy.

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    I know someone that basically has to go every time the tones go off. Its like a natural reaction or something....but usually he is able to hold it.
    Proud East Coast Traditionalist.

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    Perfect illustration why it's good to make use of the facilities whenever you feel the slightest urge - never know when that quiet minute at the house will be replaced by six hours of heavy rescue on an MVA.

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    I had an instructor tell me about a structure fire they were on one time, they made entry and attacked the fire, and went back out for rehab. They got back out and noticed a firefighter missing... They called for him, and began a search..... Upon a second search of the house, they found him on the john, because he "had to go!"
    Service is the rent you pay for having space on earth.

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    I know of a well respected Capt in this area who took a crap in the house just as soon as the fire was knocked down. He was still on air and just dropped his bunker pants and used their toilet. I have taken a **** in someone's bathroom while we were overhauling the rest of the house. I couldn't hold it any longer I had to go.

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    Happened twice to me over the years. Once at a structure, after it was knocked down and we were overhauling I just didn't feel like waiting till we got back to the station. Another time we had a car fire and the 10 minutes it would've taken to get packed up and back to the station were just 10 minutes too long, so I asked one of the neighbors/bystanders if I could use their bathroom.

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    0600 structure fire and by the time we had it under control and contained is about the time i realized i hadn't pee'd since before I went to bed the night before. I was praying for the 2 female vollies that showed up to go back to the station so I could find a tree while waiting for the power company.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Scothew
    I was praying for the 2 female vollies that showed up to go back to the station so I could find a tree...
    Awww. He's shy!

    It's taken a year for me to get my system under control so that when the pager goes off in the middle of the night, I'm ready to go without, well, feeling "ready to go". I guess I'm not as nervous as I used to be.
    -------;- "Aaaaa!!"
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    Quote Originally Posted by baileydonk
    Awww. He's shy!
    LOL

    Wasnt just me..there was a line waiting after I was done.

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    Hmmm....never been a problem. Even during our massive wildland fires out here that go on for a week, plus.

    Like said earlier, I go when I get the slight urge or hold it.

    OR YOU COULD POOP ON MINI-ME....Bou

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    Sorry. My original post could have constituted a thread hijack since it really had nothing to do with pooping on calls. I've been fortunate enough not to have to resort to desperate measures on a scene. However, I have been on the throne at home when the tones went off and it required a swift acceleration of the process I agree with the advice given before. You must make it a priority to get it out while you can or as Dave Chappelle would say you could be faced with a "case of Mud Butt"
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    Nope, thats a new one. Although years ago my we had a critical patient on an EMS call and 2 of us from the engine rode in to the hospital. We got done at the hospital and no engine. About 10 minutes later they show up, with the Lt in a jumpsuit and not the uniform he had on the call.

    Long story short, he had to make a "pit stop" on the way to pick us up. He didnt make it. He had changed into his jumpsuit after the shower he needed.
    Fire Marshal/Safety Officer

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    I was with a Brother in a smoke filled warehouse when he tells me he just had an accident and he needed to loose his underware before he could continue on. So.....we stopped the advance(in a small office) and he removed his shorts and then resumed the advance into the warehouse.....the back-up team was a little amazed at what they saw....so was I ...22 years and you thought you saw it all......
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    I have never had an issue with this .................when I first got on you would get yourself together as quickly as possible .................however upon ER arrival.................really had to go ..............so now I stop and take the cursory ****** break before going enroute.................especially early in the morning runs.
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    I'm sorry, I haven't been paying much attention for the last 3 hours.....what were we discussing?
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    Tom, been there too. Twice in two days, get home from work, sit down....... BBBEEEPPP BEEEPPP BEEEEPPP BEEEPPP... MALAHAT... PAGED. (DAMN)..... and the only thing that never happened was "Caution in the CO's Flats. Steaming coil on deck." {thats for you ex(or still serving) navy guys.}
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

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    The calzone was your downfall. In my bachelor days, any food was fair game. So when the hunger struck me around 11:30 one night, that leftover pizza called my name.

    Around 3:30 or 4:00 we got called for a mutual aid structure fire. After a little time spent spraying water, the need came upon me to spray other materials. One problem: It's the middle of the night and there are no available pooping facilities, and I sure didn't want to wake someone from their slumber to let a smelly firefighter make a smellier mess in their porcelain American Standard. And if the noise of the four fire trucks arriving hadn't stirred them, I wasn't sure that even my most desperate colonic pleas would do it either.

    So I did what any good rural firefighter does: I tried to keep the sh** from hitting the fan until I could cobble together a solution. The location was not a problem; the house sat at the base of a hillside dotted with trees (around here, they all do). And it was pitch black outside.

    But there remained the matter of the post-incident work, i.e., overhaul. Or maybe "overhole". Whatever euphemism we choose, the upshot of it was that I didn't have anything to wipe with, and from the way my stomach felt, I could tell that a normal first-alarm response of T.P. or leaves would not be enough. This one would require mutual aid companies, maybe a callback. My sock's life was on the line.

    So whilst I clenched for all I was worth, I ran around to explore my options. Quite a sight, I'm sure: A 6'4" firefighter in full gear, walking clamp-assed in pitch darkness looking for something to wipe his arse with. I bet I gave people bad dreams. They deserved it. I was living one.

    Fortunately, I found a nearby barn was open, and parked in the middle of it was a beautiful sight: A bass boat. I know enough about fishermen to know that they do not set out for a day's angling without considering the very issue I was unprepared for, so I went straight to the boat. In it, fairly dirty but very dry, was the most beautiful 1/3 roll of paper towels I have ever seen. I informed both socks of their reprieve.

    Commandeered, the doomed Bounty accompanied me to a suitable spot on the hill, whereupon I dropped both bunkers and jeans--this was my trickiest squat ever--and finally unshackled that which had shackled me.

    The chore completed, I promised my tail a package of Charmin for the next time and gave myself a coarse swipe or two, or four, or eleven. The truckie work completed, I left the scene and returned the now-1/6 roll of paper towels to its rightful place, then went back to my IC for my next assignment.

    Dietary issues have since received greater consideration in my late-night routine, and each of our four apparatus is now equipped with a roll of paper towels in my honor, just in case another jake gets a case of "The Denver Trots."

    So watch what you eat.
    "Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet.
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    Some of y'all's solutions all have the same risk:that a news crew will be on scene and have low light gear.They always seem to wonder what the guy strolling off rather frantically is up to and track him to the exclusion of the fireground activity.
    "We're here live at a multiple alarm fire and have raw footage of an apparent rescue.Oh good grief,Biff,cut to a commercial.Even the Good Lord don't need to see that!"

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    Quote Originally Posted by doughesson
    Some of y'all's solutions all have the same risk:that a news crew will be on scene and have low light gear.They always seem to wonder what the guy strolling off rather frantically is up to and track him to the exclusion of the fireground activity.
    "We're here live at a multiple alarm fire and have raw footage of an apparent rescue.Oh good grief,Biff,cut to a commercial.Even the Good Lord don't need to see that!"
    And ya know what? That is exactly what happens. Not to me, thankfully, but I've seen camera crews follow a guy because he was doing something "different". Fortunately it was not a call to nature.
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

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    EastKyFF,

    You have a gift for writing. I could practically smell the horrendous stench through the computer screen
    Tom

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    Stay safe out there!

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    I've heard stories of a guy from here fighting a apartment fire. They had it contained to one room so he was taking a dump in the second. Lil crazy if you ask me but they have pictures to prove it. Just he put himself on the line to just take a ****

  23. #23
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    Default This is a terrific thread...

    ...for me to poop on!
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    --General James Mattis, USMC


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    EastKyFF,

    You made me laugh so hard my head hurts now. You sure can write a good story!

    For me, gall bladder surgery 3 years ago has changed my operations. Most of the time for me it is the saying "in with the new, out with old." I usually have about a 20min ticker after I eat before I grab a copy of firehouse and go sit in the "office" for a while.

    Thankfully, in my time I have not had to go on scene. I usually take a "water break" before going on a run just in case but have yet, knock on wood, had the urge to push on scene.
    Jason Knecht
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    Altoona Fire Dept.
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    Default Ooooh but close.

    Prairie-dogging on scene.....God, I hate that.



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