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  1. #26
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    Sheesh, don't you people know anything???



    The Q is found after the P and before the R.







    September 11th - Never Forget

    I respect firefighters and emergency workers worldwide. Thank you for what you do.

    Sheri
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    RAY WAS HERE FIRST

  2. #27
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    Congrats Kiwi!
    ------------------------------------
    These opinions are mine and do not reflect the opinions of any organizations I am affiliated with.
    ------------------------------------

  3. #28
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    Default More for our Conspiracy Nuts.

    Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces.

    The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened.
    Coroner tells the Inspector:

    "First body: A Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while with his mistress.
    Hence the enormous smile."

    "Second body: "Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery,
    spent it all on whisky, died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."

    The Inspector asked, "What of the third body?"

    "Ah," says the coroner, "This is the most unusual one.
    Danny Earl, the conspiracy theorist, 30, struck by lightning."

    "Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector.

    "Thought he was having his picture taken."
    Psychiatrists state 1 in 4 people has a mental illness.
    Look at three of your friends, if they are ok, your it.

  4. #29
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    Default And for PETA.

    A Touching Animal Story

    A man was on holiday in Kenya. While he was walking through the bush, he came across an elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed so the man approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot There was a large thorn deeply embedded in the bottom of the foot. As carefully and as gently as he
    could he removed the thorn and the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man and with a rather stern look on its face, stared at him.
    For a good ten minutes the man stood frozen -- thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away.

    For years after, the man remembered the elephant and the events of that day.

    One day the man was walking through the zoo with his son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to where they are standing at the rail. It stared at him and the man couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. After a while it trumpeted loudly; then it continued to stare at him. The man summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. Suddenly the elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of the man's legs and swung him wildly back and forth along the railing, killing him.

    Probably wasn't the same elephant.
    Psychiatrists state 1 in 4 people has a mental illness.
    Look at three of your friends, if they are ok, your it.

  5. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by FlyingKiwi
    A Touching Animal Story

    A man was on holiday in Kenya. While he was walking through the bush, he came across an elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed so the man approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot There was a large thorn deeply embedded in the bottom of the foot. As carefully and as gently as he
    could he removed the thorn and the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man and with a rather stern look on its face, stared at him.
    For a good ten minutes the man stood frozen -- thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away.

    For years after, the man remembered the elephant and the events of that day.

    One day the man was walking through the zoo with his son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to where they are standing at the rail. It stared at him and the man couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. After a while it trumpeted loudly; then it continued to stare at him. The man summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. Suddenly the elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of the man's legs and swung him wildly back and forth along the railing, killing him.

    Probably wasn't the same elephant.
    Coffee on the keyboard...Literally!

    That's funny as hell!
    Fire Lieutenant/E.M.T.
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  6. #31
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    Reading RFRDxplorer's message, 1/2 a second.

    Reading RFRDxplorer's tagline, 2 minutes.

    Waking up 1/2 an hour later feeling refreshed. Priceless.
    Psychiatrists state 1 in 4 people has a mental illness.
    Look at three of your friends, if they are ok, your it.

  7. #32
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    Here's the proof, not 90 proof.
    Attached Images Attached Images  
    NREMT-P\ Reserve Volunteer Firefighter\Reserve Police Officer
    IACOJ Attack

    Experts built the Titanic, amateurs built the Ark.

  8. #33
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    This just in.....
    Attached Images Attached Images  
    NREMT-P\ Reserve Volunteer Firefighter\Reserve Police Officer
    IACOJ Attack

    Experts built the Titanic, amateurs built the Ark.

  9. #34
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    When asked "Why the sudden divorce"

    Bigfoot responded.

    "He just kept singing...

    I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK,
    I sleep all night and I work all day.

    He's a lumberjack and he's OK,
    He sleeps all night and works all day.

    I cut down trees, I eat my lunch,
    I go to the lavatory.
    On Wednesdays I go shopping,
    And have buttered scones for tea.

    I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK,
    I sleep all night and I work all day.

    He's a lumberjack and he's OK,
    He sleeps all night and works all day.

    He cuts down trees, eats his lunch,
    Goes to the lavatory.
    On Wednesdays he goes shopping,
    And has buttered scones for tea.

    I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK,
    I sleep all night and I work all day.

    He's a lumberjack and he's OK,
    He sleeps all night and works all day.

    I cut down trees, I skip and jump,
    I like to press wild flowers,
    I put on women's clothing,
    And hang around in bars.

    He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps,
    He likes to press wild flowers,
    He put on women's clothing,
    And hang around in bars.

    I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK,
    I sleep all night and I work all day.

    He's a lumberjack and he's OK,
    He sleeps all night and works all day.

    I cut down trees, I wear high heels,
    Suspenders and a bra,
    I wish I were a girlie,
    Just like my dear papa.

    He cuts down trees, he wears high heels,
    Suspenders and a bra,
    He wants to be a girlie,
    Just like his dear papa????

    I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK,
    I sleep all night and I work all day.

    He's a lumberjack and he's OK,
    He sleeps all night and works all day.

    ALL BLOODY DAY, it was divorce or rip his damn head off.
    Psychiatrists state 1 in 4 people has a mental illness.
    Look at three of your friends, if they are ok, your it.

  10. #35
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    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JznsS99LIkU

    And just so you know, I'm working to get to the bottom of this?
    Do it because you love it, not because you love being seen doing it.

  11. #36
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    Well I bet one day it will be proven.

    Someone shot JFK.

    Bambi had a secret boyfriend.

    Hanger 51 really IS beside Hanger 50.

    Aliens keep visiting because they know a good joke when they see one. ("Check out this sample, his name REALLY IS Bubba.")

    Chicken little was right.

    Until then I will sleep easy at night time in the firm knowledge that people even more mentally deficient than myself are worrying about these things.

    Good night to you all.

    If anything in this message concerns you please write to the Author atThis Address
    Psychiatrists state 1 in 4 people has a mental illness.
    Look at three of your friends, if they are ok, your it.

  12. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ladder8
    Shellback is for North-South, not East-West IIRC.

    (of course, if it was North-South - that could explain the carrot....)
    Hmm... well west from San Diego, to SE Asia, spring 1999, with a slight bend to the south. Then the second time from San Diego (see a pattern here? LOL) to SW Asia (read Arabian Gulf) fall 2001. That was by sea.

    Summer 1988, air travel, east from Calgary to Lahr and Cyprus (and return west via same route). Spring 2002, air travel from UAE to Victoria through London/Heathrow..... So I guess I've "hit" both the International Date Line and Greenwich at least once..... And the Equator three times, only because I flew home the last time instead of returning with the ship. Much preferred the FIRST CLASS on the Boeing 777 Dubai to London, although Business Class in the Boeing 767 for the remainder of the trip was pretty nice too. Of course that was the trip we spent nearly 6 full months chasing after bin Laden.......
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

  13. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by FlyingKiwi
    A while back I passed 3,000 posts.

    Did anyone notice? NOOOOO

    Did anyone care? NOOOOO

    There's a good reason.

    3,000 NZ is what, like 2,000 US?









    Just kidding, Congrats!

  14. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ladder8
    Shellback is for North-South, not East-West IIRC.

    (of course, if it was North-South - that could explain the carrot....)
    Golden Dragon is the title awarded to those crossing the dateline.
    Shellback is one who has crossed the Equator and been initiated into the Mysterious Order of the Deep.
    Unfortunately,I never crossed either and remain a lowly Pollywog because my ship waited until two months after President Reagan gave me an early out in 1988 and THEN headed south for the Equator.
    Last edited by doughesson; 10-18-2006 at 10:42 AM.

  15. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by RyanEMVFD
    Here's the proof, not 90 proof.
    Lemme guess.You even have a ticket someone sold you outside?

  16. #41
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    Other than loosing a birthday during one of my trips, crossing the Dateline or GMT in any direction didn't come with any kind of ceremony. Crossing the Equator was another matter. DAM BEARS! (in case you're wondering, YES, they are cousins to those DAM BEAVERS eheheehehehe)
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

  17. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by FlyingKiwi
    Well I bet one day it will be proven.

    Someone shot JFK.
    If anything in this message concerns you please write to the Author atThis Address
    You know,I asked my Uncle Binford Smith Wilson(we called him Uncle BS)about this and he told me where he was when that happened:
    "November yer 22nd,1963.That's the day everyone's supposed to remember where they was.
    I was working at the School Book Depository in Dallas Texas.Houghton-Miflin had just come out with that New Math and they had them real thick math books.It was hard to move them boxes so I told them'Y'all got to get someone in here to help me move these boxes.'
    They sent over a fella named Harvey or Oswald,I can't think of his name.
    He'd been in the Marine Corps and I,of course,had been in the Navy for 5 years and he was bragging on how fine a shot your Marine Corps was as opposed to yer Naval forces.
    I sez'I tell you what,you pinko Commie bastid.At lunch,I want you to go back to your boardin' house and bring back your rifle.I got two tickets to the Texas Theater says you can't hit that manhole cover down there by that grassy knoll.'
    Y'know,he cracked off four shots.Damned if the President of the United States didn't happen to drive by at that exact moment.
    We felt bad about that.

    From Tim Wilson's "Uncle BS" series.

  18. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by MalahatTwo7
    Other than loosing a birthday during one of my trips, crossing the Dateline or GMT in any direction didn't come with any kind of ceremony. Crossing the Equator was another matter. DAM BEARS! (in case you're wondering, YES, they are cousins to those DAM BEAVERS eheheehehehe)
    I'm told that the proper official US Navy/Royal Navy procedure is to cross the International Dateline eastbound on Friday to have two days for weekly Field Day(not where we did athletic events but cleaned every nook and cranny the Chief could find.and he found a LOT of em)and going westbound,you crossed it on Saturday night to skip Holiday routine on Sunday.

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    I wonder what JFK or RFK would think of this country now and the direction we have been headed since there deaths.

    Written 35 years ago..

    Too much and for too long we seem to have surrendered personal excellence and community values in the mere accumulation of material things. Our gross national product now is over $800 billion a year.

    But that gross national product, if we judge the United States of America by that, counts air pollution, and cigarette advertising, and ambulances to clear our highways of carnage. It counts special locks for our doors, and the jails for people who break them. It counts the destruction of redwoods and the loss of our natural wonder in chaotic sprawl. It counts napalm and it counts nuclear warheads, and armored cars for the police to fight the riots in our cities. It counts Whitman's rifle and Speck's knife, and the television programs which glorify violence in order to sell toys to our children.

    Yet the gross national product does not allow for the health of our children, the quality of their education, or they joy of their play. It does not include the beauty of our poetry or the strength of our marriages, the intelligence of our public debate or the integrity of our public officials. It measures neither our wit nor our courage, neither our wisdom nor our learning, neither our passion nor our devotion to our country.

    It measures everything, in short, except that which makes life worthwhile. And it can tell us everything about America - except why we are proud that we are Americans.

    Robert F Kennedy Quoted three months before he was assassinated .

  20. #45
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    I'm a little spud spud full of crap.....
    J
    It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.

  21. #46
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    Let me ask you something who do you think deserves more time in jail this story? Which Snipes is looking at double digits in prison http://www.cnn.com/2006/SHOWBIZ/Movi....ap/index.html

    or this story ?
    http://www.cbc.ca/news/background/enron/
    Biggest scandal in U S History does 6 years for stealing thousands of people's retirement's accounts .

  22. #47
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    ..........................
    Last edited by Nine3Probie; 07-28-2013 at 05:54 PM.

  23. #48
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    Kiwi,Somehow in my quest for power and glory your monumental achievement slipped by me.Our congratulations and keep on posting your insightful observations. T.C.

  24. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nine3Probie


    Mutt...get a clue and take a hike...we don't want you here.
    Dont insult the dog like that!
    Shawn M. Cecula
    Firefighter
    IACOJ Division of Fire and EMS

  25. #50
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    ..........................
    Last edited by Nine3Probie; 07-28-2013 at 05:55 PM.

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