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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by FlyingKiwi
    That International Date Line always p!ssed me off when I was single.

    I could never find the queue.

    I've flown across it 4 times now looking for the queue and I still can't find it either.


  2. #22
    MembersZone Subscriber MalahatTwo7's Avatar
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    Ha Ha Ha.. even sailing over it and around it five or six (lost track now) times has not produced the end of the queue for me either. But I am now a card carrying "Shellback" for what thats worth.
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

  3. #23
    MembersZone Subscriber Ladder8's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MalahatTwo7
    But I am now a card carrying "Shellback" for what thats worth.

    Shellback is for North-South, not East-West IIRC.

    (of course, if it was North-South - that could explain the carrot....)
    Be safe y'all!
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  4. #24
    IACOJ BOD FlyingKiwi's Avatar
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    That Damn Dog is worse than the Energizer Bunny.

    And now for our "Truth in Advertising" campaign.
    Attached Images Attached Images  
    Last edited by FlyingKiwi; 10-17-2006 at 07:05 PM.
    Psychiatrists state 1 in 4 people has a mental illness.
    Look at three of your friends, if they are ok, your it.

  5. #25
    IACOJ BOD FlyingKiwi's Avatar
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    And for the Religious noodles of recent times.....

    Wayne the Painter

    There was a tradesman, a painter named Wayne, who was very interested in making a penny where he could, so he often thinned down his paint to make it go a wee bit further.


    As it happened, he got away with this for some time, but eventually the Baptist Church decided to do a big restoration job on the painting of one of their biggest buildings. Wayne put in a bid, and because his price was so low, he got the job.

    And so he set about erecting the scaffolding and setting up the planks, and buying the paint and, yes, I am sorry to say, thinning it down with turpentine.

    Well, Wayne was up on the scaffolding, painting away, the job nearly completed when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder, and the sky opened, the rain poured down,


    Washing the thinned paint from all over the church and knocking Wayne clear off the scaffold to land on the lawn among the gravestones, surrounded by telltale puddles of the thinned and useless paint.

    Wayne was no fool. He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty, so he got on his knees and cried: "Oh, God! Forgive me! What should I do?" And from the thunder, a mighty voice spoke...

    (you're going to love this)















    "Repaint! Repaint! And thin no more!"
    Psychiatrists state 1 in 4 people has a mental illness.
    Look at three of your friends, if they are ok, your it.

  6. #26
    Forum Member RspctFrmCalgary's Avatar
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    Sheesh, don't you people know anything???



    The Q is found after the P and before the R.







    September 11th - Never Forget

    I respect firefighters and emergency workers worldwide. Thank you for what you do.

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    RAY WAS HERE FIRST

  7. #27
    Forum Member backsteprescue123's Avatar
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    Congrats Kiwi!
    ------------------------------------
    These opinions are mine and do not reflect the opinions of any organizations I am affiliated with.
    ------------------------------------

  8. #28
    IACOJ BOD FlyingKiwi's Avatar
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    Default More for our Conspiracy Nuts.

    Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces.

    The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened.
    Coroner tells the Inspector:

    "First body: A Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while with his mistress.
    Hence the enormous smile."

    "Second body: "Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery,
    spent it all on whisky, died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."

    The Inspector asked, "What of the third body?"

    "Ah," says the coroner, "This is the most unusual one.
    Danny Earl, the conspiracy theorist, 30, struck by lightning."

    "Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector.

    "Thought he was having his picture taken."
    Psychiatrists state 1 in 4 people has a mental illness.
    Look at three of your friends, if they are ok, your it.

  9. #29
    IACOJ BOD FlyingKiwi's Avatar
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    Default And for PETA.

    A Touching Animal Story

    A man was on holiday in Kenya. While he was walking through the bush, he came across an elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed so the man approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot There was a large thorn deeply embedded in the bottom of the foot. As carefully and as gently as he
    could he removed the thorn and the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man and with a rather stern look on its face, stared at him.
    For a good ten minutes the man stood frozen -- thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away.

    For years after, the man remembered the elephant and the events of that day.

    One day the man was walking through the zoo with his son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to where they are standing at the rail. It stared at him and the man couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. After a while it trumpeted loudly; then it continued to stare at him. The man summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. Suddenly the elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of the man's legs and swung him wildly back and forth along the railing, killing him.

    Probably wasn't the same elephant.
    Psychiatrists state 1 in 4 people has a mental illness.
    Look at three of your friends, if they are ok, your it.

  10. #30
    Forum Member fireman4949's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FlyingKiwi
    A Touching Animal Story

    A man was on holiday in Kenya. While he was walking through the bush, he came across an elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed so the man approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot There was a large thorn deeply embedded in the bottom of the foot. As carefully and as gently as he
    could he removed the thorn and the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man and with a rather stern look on its face, stared at him.
    For a good ten minutes the man stood frozen -- thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away.

    For years after, the man remembered the elephant and the events of that day.

    One day the man was walking through the zoo with his son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to where they are standing at the rail. It stared at him and the man couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. After a while it trumpeted loudly; then it continued to stare at him. The man summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. Suddenly the elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of the man's legs and swung him wildly back and forth along the railing, killing him.

    Probably wasn't the same elephant.
    Coffee on the keyboard...Literally!

    That's funny as hell!
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  11. #31
    IACOJ BOD FlyingKiwi's Avatar
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    Reading RFRDxplorer's message, 1/2 a second.

    Reading RFRDxplorer's tagline, 2 minutes.

    Waking up 1/2 an hour later feeling refreshed. Priceless.
    Psychiatrists state 1 in 4 people has a mental illness.
    Look at three of your friends, if they are ok, your it.

  12. #32
    Forum Member RyanEMVFD's Avatar
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    Here's the proof, not 90 proof.
    Attached Images Attached Images  
    NREMT-P\ Reserve Volunteer Firefighter\Reserve Police Officer
    IACOJ Attack

    Experts built the Titanic, amateurs built the Ark.

  13. #33
    Forum Member RyanEMVFD's Avatar
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    This just in.....
    Attached Images Attached Images  
    NREMT-P\ Reserve Volunteer Firefighter\Reserve Police Officer
    IACOJ Attack

    Experts built the Titanic, amateurs built the Ark.

  14. #34
    IACOJ BOD FlyingKiwi's Avatar
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    When asked "Why the sudden divorce"

    Bigfoot responded.

    "He just kept singing...

    I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK,
    I sleep all night and I work all day.

    He's a lumberjack and he's OK,
    He sleeps all night and works all day.

    I cut down trees, I eat my lunch,
    I go to the lavatory.
    On Wednesdays I go shopping,
    And have buttered scones for tea.

    I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK,
    I sleep all night and I work all day.

    He's a lumberjack and he's OK,
    He sleeps all night and works all day.

    He cuts down trees, eats his lunch,
    Goes to the lavatory.
    On Wednesdays he goes shopping,
    And has buttered scones for tea.

    I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK,
    I sleep all night and I work all day.

    He's a lumberjack and he's OK,
    He sleeps all night and works all day.

    I cut down trees, I skip and jump,
    I like to press wild flowers,
    I put on women's clothing,
    And hang around in bars.

    He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps,
    He likes to press wild flowers,
    He put on women's clothing,
    And hang around in bars.

    I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK,
    I sleep all night and I work all day.

    He's a lumberjack and he's OK,
    He sleeps all night and works all day.

    I cut down trees, I wear high heels,
    Suspenders and a bra,
    I wish I were a girlie,
    Just like my dear papa.

    He cuts down trees, he wears high heels,
    Suspenders and a bra,
    He wants to be a girlie,
    Just like his dear papa????

    I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK,
    I sleep all night and I work all day.

    He's a lumberjack and he's OK,
    He sleeps all night and works all day.

    ALL BLOODY DAY, it was divorce or rip his damn head off.
    Psychiatrists state 1 in 4 people has a mental illness.
    Look at three of your friends, if they are ok, your it.

  15. #35
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    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JznsS99LIkU

    And just so you know, I'm working to get to the bottom of this?
    Do it because you love it, not because you love being seen doing it.

  16. #36
    IACOJ BOD FlyingKiwi's Avatar
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    Well I bet one day it will be proven.

    Someone shot JFK.

    Bambi had a secret boyfriend.

    Hanger 51 really IS beside Hanger 50.

    Aliens keep visiting because they know a good joke when they see one. ("Check out this sample, his name REALLY IS Bubba.")

    Chicken little was right.

    Until then I will sleep easy at night time in the firm knowledge that people even more mentally deficient than myself are worrying about these things.

    Good night to you all.

    If anything in this message concerns you please write to the Author atThis Address
    Psychiatrists state 1 in 4 people has a mental illness.
    Look at three of your friends, if they are ok, your it.

  17. #37
    MembersZone Subscriber MalahatTwo7's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ladder8
    Shellback is for North-South, not East-West IIRC.

    (of course, if it was North-South - that could explain the carrot....)
    Hmm... well west from San Diego, to SE Asia, spring 1999, with a slight bend to the south. Then the second time from San Diego (see a pattern here? LOL) to SW Asia (read Arabian Gulf) fall 2001. That was by sea.

    Summer 1988, air travel, east from Calgary to Lahr and Cyprus (and return west via same route). Spring 2002, air travel from UAE to Victoria through London/Heathrow..... So I guess I've "hit" both the International Date Line and Greenwich at least once..... And the Equator three times, only because I flew home the last time instead of returning with the ship. Much preferred the FIRST CLASS on the Boeing 777 Dubai to London, although Business Class in the Boeing 767 for the remainder of the trip was pretty nice too. Of course that was the trip we spent nearly 6 full months chasing after bin Laden.......
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

  18. #38
    MembersZone Subscriber EFD840's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FlyingKiwi
    A while back I passed 3,000 posts.

    Did anyone notice? NOOOOO

    Did anyone care? NOOOOO

    There's a good reason.

    3,000 NZ is what, like 2,000 US?









    Just kidding, Congrats!

  19. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ladder8
    Shellback is for North-South, not East-West IIRC.

    (of course, if it was North-South - that could explain the carrot....)
    Golden Dragon is the title awarded to those crossing the dateline.
    Shellback is one who has crossed the Equator and been initiated into the Mysterious Order of the Deep.
    Unfortunately,I never crossed either and remain a lowly Pollywog because my ship waited until two months after President Reagan gave me an early out in 1988 and THEN headed south for the Equator.
    Last edited by doughesson; 10-18-2006 at 10:42 AM.

  20. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by RyanEMVFD
    Here's the proof, not 90 proof.
    Lemme guess.You even have a ticket someone sold you outside?

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