1. #1
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    Thumbs up A Canadian Bend Of Sarcasm?

    I got this in email from my Major. She writes:

    For those Rick Mercer fans out there, you will appreciate his sarcasm.
    Life & Times

    Fighting words

    By Courtesy (St. John's) The Independent Friday, January 26, 2007

    By Rick Mercer

    For The Independent

    Poor Noreen Golfman. She wrote in her Jan. 12 column (Blowing in the Wind Ö ) that her holidays were ruined by what she felt were incessant reports about Canadian men and women serving in Afghanistan. So upset was Noreen that, armed with her legendary pen, sharpened from years in the trenches at Memorial Universityís womenís studies department, she went on the attack. I know I should just ignore the good professor and write her off as another bitter baby boom academic pining for what she fondly calls "the protest songs of yesteryear," but I canít help myself. A response is exactly what she wants; and so I include it here. After all, Newfoundlanders have seen this before: Noreen Golfman, sadly, is Margaret Wente without the wit.

    Dear Noreen,

    I am so sorry to hear about the interruption to your holiday cheer. You say in your column that it all started when the CBC ran a story on some "poor sod" who got his legs blown off in Afghanistan.

    The "poor sod" in question, Noreen, has a name and it is Cpl. Paul Franklin. He is a medic in the Forces and has been a buddy of mine for years. I had dinner with him last week in Edmonton, in fact. I will be sure to pass on to him that his lack of legs caused you some personal discomfort this Christmas.

    Paul is a pretty amazing guy. You would like him I think. When I met him years ago he had two good legs and a brutally funny sense of humour. He was so funny that I was pretty sure he was a Newfoundlander. You probably know the type (or maybe you donít) - salt of the earth, always smiling, and like so many health-care professionals, seemingly obsessed with helping others in need.

    These days he spends his time training other health-care workers and learning how to walk again. Thatís a pretty exhausting task for Paul Ö heading into rehabilitation he knew very well his chances of walking again were next to none, considering heís a double amputee, missing both legs above the knee.

    At the risk of ruining your day Noreen, Iím proud to report that for the last few months he has managed to walk his son to school almost every morning and itís almost a kilometre from his house. Next month Paul hopes to travel to Washington where he claims he will learn how to run on something he calls "bionic flipper cheetah feet." The legs may be gone but the sense of humour is still very much intact.

    Forgive me Noreen for using Paulís name so much, but seeing as you didnít catch it when CBC ran the profile on his recovery I thought it might be nice if you perhaps bothered to remember it from here on in. This way, when you are pontificating about him at a dinner party, you no longer have to refer to him simply as the "poor sod," but you can actually refer to him as Paul Franklin. You may prefer "poor sod" of course; itís all a matter of how you look at things. You see a "poor sod" that ruined your Christmas and I see a truly inspiring guy. Thatís why I am thrilled that the CBC saw fit to run a story on Paul and his wife Audra. I would go so far as to suggest that many people would find their story, their marriage and their charitable endeavours inspiring. Just as I am sure that many readers of The Independent are inspired by your suggestion that Paulís story has no place on the public broadcaster.

    Further on in your column you ask why more people arenít questioning Canadaís role in Afghanistan. I understand this frustration. Itís a good question. Why should Canada honour its United Nations-sanctioned NATO commitments? Letís have the discussion. I would welcome debate on the idea that Canada should simply ignore its international obligations and pull out of Afghanistan. By all means ask the questions Noreen, but surely such debates can occur without begrudging the families of injured soldiers too much airtime at Christmas?

    Personally, I would have thought that as a professor of womenís studies you would be somewhat supportive of the notion of a NATO presence in Afghanistan. After all, it is the NATO force that is keeping the Taliban from power. In case you missed it Noreen, the Taliban was a regime that systematically de-peopled women to the point where they had no human rights whatsoever. This was a country where until very recently it was illegal for a child to fly a kite or for a little girl to receive any education.

    To put it in terms you might understand Noreen, rest assured the Taliban would frown on your attending this yearís opening night gala of the St. Johnís International Womenís Film Festival. In fact, as a woman, a professor, a writer and (one supposes) an advocate of the concept that women are people, they would probably want to kill you three or four times over. Thankfully that notion is moot in our cozy part of the world but were it ever come to pass I would suggest that you would be grateful if a "poor sod" like Paul Franklin happened along to risk his life to protect yours.

    And then of course you seem to be somehow personally indignant that I would visit troops in Afghanistan over Christmas. You ask the question "When did the worm turn?" Well I hate to break it to you, but in my case this worm has been doing this for a long time now. Itís been a decade since I visited Canadian peacekeeping operations in Bosnia and this Christmas marked my third trip to Afghanistan. Why do I do it? Well I am not a soldier - that much is perfectly clear. I donít have the discipline or the skills. But I am an entertainer and entertainers entertain. And occasionally, like most Canadians, I get to volunteer my professional time to causes that I find personally satisfying.

    As a Newfoundlander this is very personal to me. On every one of these trips I meet Newfoundlanders who serve proudly in the Canadian Forces. Every day they do the hard work that we as a nation ask of them. They do this without complaint and they do it knowing that at every turn there are people like you, Noreen, suggesting that what they do is somehow undignified or misguided.

    I am also curious Noreen why you refer to the head of the Canadian Forces, General Rick Hillier, as "Rick ĎMUN graduateí Hillier." I would suggest that if you wish to criticize General Hillierís record of leadership or service to his country you should feel free. He is a big boy. However, when you dismiss him as "Rick ĎMUN Graduateí Hillier" the message is loud and clear. Are you suggesting that because General Hillier received an education at Memorial he is somehow unqualified for high command? We are used to seeing this type of tactic in certain national papers - not The Independent.

    You end by saying you personally cannot envision that peace can ever be paved with military offensives. May I suggest to you that in many instances in history peace has been achieved exactly that way.

    The gates of Auschwitz were not opened with peace talks. Holland was not liberated by peacekeepers and fascism was not defeated with a deft pen. Time and time again men and women in uniform have laid down their lives in just causes and in an effort to free others from oppression.

    It is unfortunate, Noreen, that in such instances people like yourself may have your sensitivities offended, especially during the holiday season, but perhaps that is a small price to pay. Best wishes for the remainder of 2007; may it be a year of peace and prosperity.


    And YES, the Major is a "DownHomer"
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

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    About all I can say is WOW! That was a very well written piece.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lvwrench View Post
    About all I can say is WOW! That was a very well written piece.
    Ya once in a while a "flash" of literary brilliance comes from north of the Border. LOL
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

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    Very well written.

    I would love to see Noreen's "rebuttal" to that.




    Kevin
    Fire Lieutenant/E.M.T.
    IAFF Local 2339
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    "Fir na tine"

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    Rick Mercer is great.

    I would TIVO the Mercer Report every week just for the Rant.

    And I know most Yanks would love him too... ...as long as they didn't see an installment of "Talking to Americans".

    And I'm in agreement 110%!
    Never argue with an Idiot. They drag you down to their level, and then beat you with experience!

    IACOJ

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    I love Rick.
    A vomiting Firefighter is an ugly Firefighter.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lightsandsound View Post
    I love Rick.

    You do????!!!!!

    Ohhhhhhhh you mean Rick Mercer. Silly me
    September 11th - Never Forget

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    pssssshhhh...yeah.

    ....Is there another Rick I should love?
    A vomiting Firefighter is an ugly Firefighter.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lightsandsound View Post
    pssssshhhh...yeah.

    ....Is there another Rick I should love?
    Well, MalahatTwo7, the author of this thread is also named Rick, so....

    Never argue with an Idiot. They drag you down to their level, and then beat you with experience!

    IACOJ

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    Quote Originally Posted by mcaldwell View Post
    Well, MalahatTwo7, the author of this thread is also named Rick, so....

    It was just too good to pass up
    September 11th - Never Forget

    I respect firefighters and emergency workers worldwide. Thank you for what you do.

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    So should I luv him?
    A vomiting Firefighter is an ugly Firefighter.

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    We need Rick Mercer to get elected as our Prime Minister. Then we need Don Cherry to become the NHL Commisioner. That would be a great world to live in.

    Cheers Firedog21
    I.A.F.F. Proud

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    Quote Originally Posted by firedog21 View Post
    We need Rick Mercer to get elected as our Prime Minister. Then we need Don Cherry to become the NHL Commisioner. That would be a great world to live in.

    Cheers Firedog21
    I.A.F.F. Proud
    Grapes is the best!!!!!

    I'm disappointed they voted down the schedule changes. How can it be an accurate indication of which team is the best of the NATIONAL Hockey League when most of the games are played within the individual divisions??!!! Isn't it true that some teams only play against each other every couple of years?
    September 11th - Never Forget

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    Quote Originally Posted by lightsandsound View Post
    So should I luv him?
    Only if you bring lots of Newfie Screech and a whole lotta beer!
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

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    K.....I'm in.
    A vomiting Firefighter is an ugly Firefighter.

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    Does that include bringing the cod to kiss? Or whatever fish it is that you all kiss LOL.
    September 11th - Never Forget

    I respect firefighters and emergency workers worldwide. Thank you for what you do.

    Sheri
    IACOJ CRUSTY CONVENTION CHAIR
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    RAY WAS HERE FIRST

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    No....that little initiation has changed since the Cod has disappeared....we now get everyone to kiss our Newfie Asses!!!


    ......just kidding.....




    ...but seriously....we do.

    ....huh?
    A vomiting Firefighter is an ugly Firefighter.

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    Default Wow!

    Bypassing the fish and hindquarters kissing, that was a great rant!

    Very well written.
    The opinions I post to these forums do not represent any entity to which I am affiliated.

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    He's good there's no question about it.....

    He's the kind of guy that could call you a no good ******* and you'd laugh at it....only to realize hours after the conversation with him that he had called you a NO GOOD *******....LOL!
    A vomiting Firefighter is an ugly Firefighter.

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    Lord Tunderin Jesus, I love Canada, I love Rick Mercer, And Damn it bye I love me RUM. However I aint Kissin a Cod or any Newfie Arse! Besides The only Island in Canada worth being from is Vancouver Island!

    Cheers Firedog21
    I.A.F.F. Proud

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    Quote Originally Posted by RspctFrmCalgary View Post
    Does that include bringing the cod to kiss? Or whatever fish it is that you all kiss LOL.
    Been there 'n done that too. Which is how I went from being a Tadpole to a Shellback.

    And Firedog: YOU SAID IT BROTHER! I miss the West Coast Rock. Haven't been home in almost 2yrs now. Miss the Pacific sunset on one side and the Rockies sunrise on the other side too.
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

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    Quote Originally Posted by firedog21 View Post
    Besides The only Island in Canada worth being from is Vancouver Island!
    Cheers Firedog21
    I.A.F.F. Proud
    Works for me

    Little chilly though, February is here, isn't the sun supposed to shining???!!!
    September 11th - Never Forget

    I respect firefighters and emergency workers worldwide. Thank you for what you do.

    Sheri
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    Yeah I must say Vancouver Island is nice......except for all those people humping trees....hippies **** me off....


    ......and what's with that stink.......smells like burnt................grass?
    A vomiting Firefighter is an ugly Firefighter.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lightsandsound View Post
    Yeah I must say Vancouver Island is nice......except for all those people humping trees....hippies **** me off....


    ......and what's with that stink.......smells like burnt................grass?
    HAHHAAHAAA that just makes it easier to find them during hunting season.

    "Sire! The peasants are revolting!"

    "Yes, I know. PULL! Hmmm drifted to the left a little." eheheheeehehe
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

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    Hey Lightsandsound:
    Most people on Vancouver Island are hard workin, Loggers, Miners, Fishermen, Pulpmill workers, ect. ect. Don't let the few welfare collecting hippies who seem to get tons of news coverage, taint your opinion of our fair Island.

    Cheers Firedog21
    I.A.F.F. Proud

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