Knicker Addiction. Jane Flanagan, canada.com
My name is Jane and I'm addicted to knickers. Okay, it's not exactly an out-of-control addiction as much as a coping mechanism. We all have a range of coping mechanisms that we default to when things are rough: taking baths, going out on the tear, eating "bad foods" or watching reruns of Sex & the City.
Me? When I have a bad day - you know the kind where the guy you're crushing on blows you off, your boss makes you want to gouge your eyeballs out and you inadvertently end up fighting with your best friend - when I have one of "Those Days" I like nothing better than buying knickers.
Gallery: Knickers to Die For
Gallery: Evolution of the Bra
Related Link: Insider's Guide to Bra-Buying
The Roots of Obsession
It could take years of therapy I'm not willing to go through to unearth the real psychological reason why I love knickers so much. But the habit definitely got formed when I was going through a grueling two-year waiting period during which I perpetually felt like my life was "on hold." To counter that gnawing impatience, I would shop.
On one such shopping expedition, I was absolutely running out of things to buy and I ended up in the lingerie department of the swankiest department store. Suddenly a world of buying possibilities opened before me, for a lady never has too much underwear!
And we need underwear of every kind: panties, boy-shorts, thongs, sensible ones, seductive ones, everyday ones and "special" ones. Believe me, I now have them all in spades. Indeed, in the name of rigorous empirical investigation I have counted how many pairs of underwear I have. Suffice to say, I may be the Imelda Marcos of knickers.
The Perfect Pair
You may think that panties are panties, but there are an astonishing number of styles, not to mention materials available.
Okay, let's get the least sexy out of the way. Full briefs are those ugly knickers that are cut low on the leg and high on the waist. They're the knicker equivalent of Mom-jeans and if you own a pair, you shouldn't.
Midis / Hipsters
Much more acceptable everyday wear are midis, which are cut lower on the waist and a little higher on the leg. They give good coverage of the bum and are therefore great and comfortable for day-in, day-out wear.
Brazilians are midis that don't cover the full buttock but instead cut somewhere across the middle of the bum. This can result in some sexy bum cleavage, but, on the downside, can also give you the permanent sensation that your knickers are riding up your arse.
Bikinis are midis, but smaller. These are even lower on the waist and are best avoided by those of us with extra curvaceous figures, since there'll be unsightly spillage over the waistband. Bikinis look best on the skinny sisterhood.
Tanga briefs are like bikinis, but instead of a full seam on the sides, there's a string holding the front and back together. This is über-unflattering on all but the most boyish of figures as the string will saw into your sides and create great unsightly bulging.
Thongs / G-Strings
The itsy-bitsy underwear is loved for its VPL (visible panty line) eliminating quality, but scorned for its questionable comfort levels and especially for visibility when sitting down in low-rise pants. Every girl needs one thong in her arsenal for those outfits that demand nothing less than a seam-free derriere.
If you're a girl who likes coverage but rightly hates the full brief, try a little boyshort. Cute, flirty, sexy and comfortable, boyshorts are also arguably as good at avoiding VPLs as thongs. Plus, in my meager experience, men love them, women love them AND they're comfortable. These things rarely coincide, so take advantage when they do!
In all shapes and sizes, shapewear is designed with one thing in mind: Firming up those flabby bits and giving you a smooth silhouette. However, they're far from sexy. It's that classic Bridget Jones catch-22 of whether to wear the big knickers that will make you look better in the dress, or the hot ones that will be sexier if you end up in flagrante. Oprah claims only to ever wear Spanx, the shapewear du jour. In a perfect world, none of us would ever need a helping hand, but in reality we do and thankfully there are lots of options out there.
I wear all my knickers. Even if I'm just wearing jeans and a tee, it gives me a little thrill to know there's French lace underneath. Nobody else needs to know and perhaps that makes underwear a true medium of self-expression, be it cute, sexy, romantic or kinky. This isn't about looking and feeling good for a man, this is about me, me, me! The fact that it might titillate a sexual partner is just an added bonus.
And although I'm loathe to play favourites when it comes to underwear, I do have one special pair of panties. They're silk, rose-print boyshorts with antique lace trim. Partly I adore them because they were a gift from someone special - someone who didn't question my obsession but loved it as a funny quirk. But I don't wear them often because I want them to last as long as possible. Nevertheless, they do seem to have magical effects when I put them on. And just think: Few will ever know the real source of my power...
Can't get enough of Shopping? Click here to see our archive of the past editions of Shopper's Secret Diary!
I will let you guys find the pictures in the links.....
+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 5 of 5
02-13-2007, 01:09 PM #1
- Join Date
- Mar 2002
- Loco madidus effercio in rutilus effercio.
My name is Jane and I'm addicted to knickersIf you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)
"I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD
"Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)
Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!
impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto
IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.
02-13-2007, 01:25 PM #2
- Join Date
- Jun 2006
My girl has quite a collection of "knickers" one of the many things I love about her!
02-13-2007, 03:38 PM #3
- Join Date
- Apr 2005
- Las Vegas,Nevada
I can remember the good old days when girls used to wear what we called "beaver cheaters".
02-13-2007, 09:00 PM #4
And to think that I almost blew by this post because, who wants to look at high water pants. I'm glad I was bored.****************************** **********
It's a jungle out there. You have to watch out for number 1, but be careful not to step in number 2! - Rodney Dangerfield
Some people are like slinkies, not really good for anything but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
02-13-2007, 09:51 PM #5
- Join Date
- Jul 2001
- Not the end of the earth but I can see it from here...
And to think I was thinking of.....
I must be getting old.....Chief Dwayne LeBlanc
Paincourtville Volunteer Fire Department
"I have a dream. It's not a big dream, it's just a little dream. My dream — and I hope you don't find this too crazy — is that I would like the people of this community to feel that if, God forbid, there were a fire, calling the fire department would actually be a wise thing to do. You can't have people, if their houses are burning down, saying, 'Whatever you do, don't call the fire department!' That would be bad."
— C.D. Bales, "Roxanne"
Users Browsing this Thread
There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)