Letter from a cop

[KenNFD1219]

I found this while reading "The Best of Craigslist" Craig's List is a world-wide classified add site. Very interesting items. The best of opens a window into the lives of many people.

This is a letter from a highway patrol cop. It is both humorous and has some good information.

I know lots of cops; some a-holes, some are truly outstanding individuals, most are just regular people doing a tough job.

I'll take burning buildings and haz-mat calls any day over the crap our brothers and sisters in blue deal with everyday.
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Ladies and Gentlemen,
Allow me to introduced myself. I am a police officer. More importantly to this post, I am a police officer who is sick and damned tired of dealing with certain things on a day to day basis:

1) Contrary to what you might think, I am not an idiot. That ring on my finger is a BA from Texas Tech. My GPA was a 3.71 and I was in fact the president of my frat (which means I got a lot of stories that start out "So, this one time, we were ****ed up, and...). So, when I make the mistake of mispronouncing your name (the last name with 17 ****ing letters, only two of which are vowels), dont give me that look like I just kicked your puppy.

While I may not be an idiot, I am human and I do **** things up from time to time. When I apologize for pulling you over because I thought your tags were out, just take the sorry and be on about your way. DO NOT get a high and mighty attitude. Our state has over 5000 traffic laws, I can find one to help you get over your tude.

2) No, I do not have "real criminals" I should be out looking for. Did you happen to notice the ****ing Harley parked behind you with LED's blinking? Lemme give you a hint - if you see a motorcycle officer, our entire job relates to ******* drivers. ******* drivers are the ones who make your daily commute dangerous (Or, a complete standstill, once they wreck out). With that in mind, shut up about the other "important" things I "should be doing." Believe it or not, I tried to get this job. Dont act like you wouldnt like to get paid to ride a Harley for 8 hours a day. But, the main benefit of this job, is I dont have "Real criminals" to **** with. No shagging calls, dealing with domestics, and so on. My worst days are telling someone they lost a loved one in a wreck I just worked. Which, brings me to my next point:

3) If I was a dick from the beginning of the stop, I apologize. I mean that with all sincerity. I am human. If I've dealt with 10 *******s before I stopped you or maybe delivered a death notification, I may have done the wrong thing and assumed you were gonna be one too. Believe it or not, after my shift on the way home, I'll probably reflect on my day and feel a bit ****ty if our interaction stands out because I was a jerk. Yours wouldnt be the first citation I've "lost" because I thought I was being an overbearing ***** at the time I wrote it. We all have our bad days.

4) No good deed goes unpunished. I know that. But, if I give you a warning - DO NOT assume I pulled you over for a bull**** reason and then lost my nerve. Just because I didnt write you for 7 over the limit, doesnt mean I was profiling and you should set up a meeting with my Chief and your NAACP rep. You complaining that "He stopped me for nothin, oterwise he'd have given me a ticket," is bull**** and, frankly, is the reason most of us have stopped giving warnings.

Profiling is BULL****, by the way. You're hauling *** past me at 70+ mph. I have to see your speed, if you have a front license plate, registration sticker, inspection sticker and if you're wearing a seatbelt in the split second you pass me. I couldnt give two ****s if your black white or green.

5) No, you may not see my RADAR gun. For a few reasons. First, I dont have to show it to you. You bestfriend's roommate's boyfriend who talked to a cop once is ****ing wrong. I dont have to show it to you, I dont care what you heard. Second, I dont want to show it to you, because I dont want you out of your car. Why? You may not know that you're not gonna attack me, but I dont know that. If you're seated, you're less of a threat and I like feeling as comfy as I can. Also, I dont have a RADAR anymore. I have LIDAR. If you're gonna act like a lawyer on the side of the road, get your **** squared away first and know what you're talking about. Finally, you cant see the LIDAR for your own safety. You feel that way your car rocks every time an 18 wheeler flys by? I'd rather not get sued becuase your stupid *** fell into traffic and got killed on my stop.

While I'm on my good pal LIDAR, it has some neat features. It's a laser beamed device, so - no, I couldnt have gotten the guy next to you. It's got a scope on it, and the scope's dot was aimed directly at your car's grill. Also, it tells me the distance in feet that i clocked you at. So, dont tell me, I couldnt have gotten you from that far, because I can. Its accurate to 2500 feet (half a mile or so), and I can clock you, get two swigs of coffee and eat three donut holes by the time you get close enough to see my motorcycle on the shoulder.

6) Arguements take place in court, not on the side of the road. No exceptions. And, yes, I will show up to court. Even on my day off. I get paid (by you, thanks for reminding me) OT to show up to court, and I'm trying to con my wife into letting me buy a new boat, so I need that money. Now, once we get to court, follow a few easy rules:

Dont lie. My bike has a video camera on it, and that box on my belt is a mic. The camera is hooked into my fixed 4 way RADAR, so it shows your speed (if I didnt clock you with a LIDAR unit, that is). Oh, and judges dont like all those cuss words you used out at the scene...

Dont yell at me outside the court room. This is not a personal matter to me, even if it is for you. After this, Im going home and watching my Texas Rangers **** up another promising season. You will be the furthest thing from my mind.


Guys and gals, we are the same as you. We've got a home life that might suck, bills to pay, college loans, the damned team that never wins (Tech losing in the first ****in round! Damn you Bobby Knight), and so on. We have feelings, personalities, and dreams just like you. When Im at your window, look at my face. You met a hundred guys like me in college, and loved em. I was that guy a few years ago, and not much has changed. Im still a nice guy, treat me like one and you might just get a warning.

[Dave1983]

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and I can clock you, get two swigs of coffee and eat three donut holes by the time you get close enough to see my motorcycle on the shoulder.

I love that he played the donut card.

Great letter, well done!

[DeputyChiefGonzo]

Outstanding!

Our Brothers in blue should be commended for the bulls*** they gave to deal with daily!

[MalahatTwo7]

Outstanding!

Our Brothers in blue should be commended for the bulls*** they gave to deal with daily!

Just glad its not mine to have to deal with that BS everyday.

[DaSharkie]

DO NOT get a high and mighty attitude. Our state has over 5000 traffic laws, I can find one to help you get over your tude.

I love that one. As a rule, it is NEVER a good idea to argue with the man wearing the badge and sidearm. They are in a position of power. Suck it up and deal with it.


As for the attitude, I do believe that (unless things changed) that the Massachusetts State Police and Rhode Island State Police are in an ongoing competition for the top spot.

Tough job they have to do. You get b!tched at if you are not aggressive enough in enforcing the law, you get b!tched at if you actually do your job.

[GeorgeWendtCFI]

I love that one. As a rule, it is NEVER a good idea to argue with the man wearing the badge and sidearm. They are in a position of power. Suck it up and deal with it.


As for the attitude, I do believe that (unless things changed) that the Massachusetts State Police and Rhode Island State Police are in an ongoing competition for the top spot.

Tough job they have to do. You get b!tched at if you are not aggressive enough in enforcing the law, you get b!tched at if you actually do your job.

People do not realize that in most situations, most cops DO NOT want to write the ticket. Often, the driver has to work at it.

The "attitude" some people percieve is actually a self defense tactic used to remain in control of the situation. If used properly, it is quite effective in allowing the officer to remain in an authoritative and superior position. This is vital in a potentially adverserial encounter.

[scfire86]

I don't mind getting the ticket. Considering I admit to driving with a lead foot it's dumb luck I haven't collected them like Blue Chip stamps (dating myself). And I can sort of understand the attitude. The last time I was pulled over I had my hands on the wheel on the 10 and 2 position with my license and registration wedged in between my fingers in plain sight.

What I do object to is the 15 minute lecture or the fact that it takes close to an hour to fill out a one page form. How about just writing the citation so we can both get on with our day?

My time is just as valuable as theirs. I sometimes get the feeling it takes so long to write a traffic ticket so the officer doesn't have to be out looking for other drivers.

As far as being empathetic to the BS they deal with everyday. Well there's a reason I stood in the fire line and not the police line.

What do cops and firefighters have in common? They both wanted to be firefighters first.

[ElectricHoser]

Outstanding.

For all the ball busting we engage in, such as comments like "if cops had scored a few points higher, they'd be firefighters", the fact of the matter is that they have a really difficult and thankless job. Frankly, I am not man enough to survive as a cop, and I am not afraid to admit it. I'll always have their backs.

[Dickey]

People do not realize that in most situations, most cops DO NOT want to write the ticket. Often, the driver has to work at it.

ABSOLUTELY!!! At least in WI, tickets are not cheap, not to mention the insurance rates and possible divorce after everyone finds out about it. No, never like that part of the job unless you were an *********, then you deserved it. 90% of the people I ran into were very decent, hard working, common people like you and me. The other 10% are the "regulars" that we deal with on a weekly or even daily basis. Normally, cops deal with that 10% of the population, 90% of the time.

The "attitude" some people percieve is actually a self defense tactic used to remain in control of the situation. If used properly, it is quite effective in allowing the officer to remain in an authoritative and superior position. This is vital in a potentially adverserial encounter.

Very good explaination. Good job! An officer who makes a traffic stop does not know if you are a guy who just killed your family and trying to get away now or the little old lady who got all lost and turned around. We don't know if you have your drivers license, a donut, or a gun waiting for us when we approach. Again George, great job.

[scfire86]

Frankly, I am not man enough to survive as a cop, and I am not afraid to admit it. I'll always have their backs.

Speak for yourself. I chose this career path for many reasons. One being that law enforcement just didn't interest me.

[ElectricHoser]

Speak for yourself. I chose this career path for many reasons. One being that law enforcement just didn't interest me.

Umm... OK. My comments were not a dig on you. I never intended to nor implied that I was speaking for anyone else than myself, nor did I question your career choice.

[KnightnPBIArmor]

Outstanding.

Frankly, I am not man enough to survive as a cop, and I am not afraid to admit it. I'll always have their backs.

A few weeks back I was in the staging area for the big wildfires here in south Georgia, and my crew and I saw the company officer from another department walking across the lot...this guy was at least 6' 6", shaved head, and looked like he had muscles in his eyebrows...I nudged my buddy and told him that the fact that guys that size like to drink and fight is the reason I became a firefighter and not a cop, LOL

[Jonathan Bastian]

this guy was at least 6' 6", shaved head, and looked like he had muscles in his eyebrows...I nudged my buddy and told him that the fact that guys that size like to drink and fight is the reason I became a firefighter and not a cop, LOL

These guys are why God invented Tasers....

[FF49STN]

Top letter !

[firemama650]

Well said. Here the depts. are like family and they back each other up.

[JHR1985]

whats the guy from Robocop say....


"I dont like cops.... so cops dont like me"