Why register? ...To Enhance Your Experience
+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 13 of 13

Thread: Terror Alert

  1. #1
    Forum Member Dave1983's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Gator Country
    Posts
    4,157

    Smile Terror Alert

    Got this from a Brit friend whos ex RAF fire. Thought I would share...


    The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz began in 1940 and tea supplies all but ran out.

    Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance". The last time the British issued "A Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

    Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

    It's not only the English and French who are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

    The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose".

    Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .

    The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
    Fire Marshal/Safety Officer

    IAAI-NFPA-IAFC/VCOS-Retired IAFF

    "No his mind is not for rent, to any god or government"
    RUSH-Tom Sawyer

    Success is when skill meets opportunity
    Failure is when fantasy meets reality


  2. #2
    IACOJ BOD FlyingKiwi's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    New Zealand
    Posts
    4,757

    Default

    Meanwhile Kiwi land is still ticking along in "No worries Mate" mode, which has been the single level of alert for over 100 years.
    Psychiatrists state 1 in 4 people has a mental illness.
    Look at three of your friends, if they are ok, your it.

  3. #3
    Forum Member Tooanfrom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Location
    whangaparaoa peninsular, north island
    Posts
    488

    Default Ratings

    There is a higher rating that can be applied(I am a Brit)

    Should our local "Chippie/Eel&Pie/Pub" be bombed we go into Highly ****#d Off mode.

    The Iranian Embassy was a "Gnats ****" below H.P.O--whilst the Falklands was only just coming up to H.P.O(then they gave in before the fun really started)

    I hear the Gurkha Regiment has been deployed against the Talaban--now when those little fella's get a "Tad ****#d Off"(and this does not even get to "Highly")--not nice!
    "If you thought it was hard getting into the job--wait until you have to hang the "fire gear"up and walk away!"
    Harry Lauder 1981.Me on the left!

  4. #4
    IACOJ BOD FlyingKiwi's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    New Zealand
    Posts
    4,757

    Default

    Yup.

    Quoted during the Falklands war.

    British Gaurds Regiment marching along (all over 6 foot tall) get rapidly passed by 5 foot not many inches Ghurkas carrying a damn site more weight per man.

    Gaurds Officer tells the Ghurka officer to slow down or his men will be too tired to fight.

    Laughing the officer responded "Slow down? The problem is getting the buggers to stop before the enemies lines."


    TooanFrom
    Geez you daft bat, get the spelling right eh. Your supposed to be a POM.
    Psychiatrists state 1 in 4 people has a mental illness.
    Look at three of your friends, if they are ok, your it.

  5. #5
    Forum Member Tooanfrom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Location
    whangaparaoa peninsular, north island
    Posts
    488

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by FlyingKiwi View Post
    Yup.

    Quoted during the Falklands war.

    British Gaurds Regiment marching along (all over 6 foot tall) get rapidly passed by 5 foot not many inches Ghurkas carrying a damn site more weight per man.

    Gaurds Officer tells the Ghurka officer to slow down or his men will be too tired to fight.

    Laughing the officer responded "Slow down? The problem is getting the buggers to stop before the enemies lines."


    TooanFrom
    Geez you daft bat, get the spelling right eh. Your supposed to be a POM.
    Flying Kiwi(not quite a Pom-but would like to be )
    My dear old thing, please run Gurkha and Guards(plural of "Guard")thru the jolly old spelling thingymabob-remember you Colonial types and our American cousins only speak my language because we let you,under sufferance.
    Last edited by Tooanfrom; 07-24-2007 at 11:26 PM.
    "If you thought it was hard getting into the job--wait until you have to hang the "fire gear"up and walk away!"
    Harry Lauder 1981.Me on the left!

  6. #6
    Forum Member snowball's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2000
    Location
    Just North of South Central
    Posts
    2,740

    Default

    Those Brits, always making light of bad times. I'm proud to be their ally.

    We'll have to work on those yucko's from down under, I think they'll make the list though!
    IAFF

  7. #7
    Forum Member frenchfireball's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    lyon,france
    Posts
    1,033

    Talking

    Quote Originally Posted by Dave1983 View Post
    Got this from a Brit friend whos ex RAF fire. Thought I would share...


    The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz began in 1940 and tea supplies all but ran out.

    Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance". The last time the British issued "A Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

    Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

    It's not only the English and French who are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

    The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose".

    Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .

    The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

    i read the part concerning the french government and i could not stop laughing,very great one.it is well written and a little bit sarcastic,but worth reading,lol.
    "sauver ou périr"

    "courage et dévouement"

    2 french mottoes in french fire service.

  8. #8
    Forum Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    411

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by snowball View Post
    Those Brits, always making light of bad times. I'm proud to be their ally.

    We'll have to work on those yucko's from down under, I think they'll make the list though!
    Funny you should say that, speaking of making light of bad times. I like to watch CSPAN because it is the easiest way to see what our Representatives and Senators are doing without some news network putting a political twist to it.

    Every now and then CSPAN has coverage of the British Parliament in session. I enjoy watching that simply because of the difference in humor. Watch our Congress in session and you get a bunch of strait-faced men and women who rarely ever even crack a smile and talk in monotones. The Brits, on the other hand, handle issues while being much more jovial about it, keeping things brief and witty. They are allowed to give instant feedback on what they think of another person's position (usually by way of a "Here, here!"), whereas when someone talks in the House or Senate, there must be complete silence for the duration of the speaker's allotted debate time. (Of course, it helps that they have the Prime Minister present, you could imagine how much more interesting our sessions would be if President Bush were to visit Congress once a week or so ).

    Edit: Spanish glass-bottoms submarines. That one got me rolling.
    Last edited by GodSendRain; 07-25-2007 at 06:42 AM.
    "Yeah, but as I've always said, this country has A.D.D." - Denis Leary

    http://www.lettertogop.com/

  9. #9
    MembersZone Subscriber SteveDude's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    London, England
    Posts
    1,254

    Default

    Seen this before...very funny. I wonder what level those currently under water in the summer floods are at?

    I'd guess they are now at 'well p1ssed off' level.
    Steve Dude
    IACOJ member
    www.fireservice.co.uk

    London Fire Brigade...."Can Do"


    'Irony'... It's a British thing.

  10. #10
    Forum Member st42stephenAFT's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    NoVA / NJ
    Posts
    747

    Default

    Hahaha, very nice. I liked the Spanish part. :P

  11. #11
    MembersZone Subscriber
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Posts
    131

    Default

    Here in the States, we have a different set of threat levels. The current general threat level is "Bert".
    Attached Images Attached Images  

  12. #12
    Forum Member res54cuecaptain's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Somewhere over the rainbow....
    Posts
    276

    Default

    i perfer ron white's threat levels....

    1) Find a helmet

    2) Put on your ****ing helmet
    First in, Last out, nobody left behind.....

  13. #13
    Forum Member Dave1983's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Gator Country
    Posts
    4,157

    Thumbs up

    Quote Originally Posted by sts060 View Post
    Here in the States, we have a different set of threat levels. The current general threat level is "Bert".
    I have this one posted on the wall in my office at HQ. Always gets a laugh.
    Fire Marshal/Safety Officer

    IAAI-NFPA-IAFC/VCOS-Retired IAFF

    "No his mind is not for rent, to any god or government"
    RUSH-Tom Sawyer

    Success is when skill meets opportunity
    Failure is when fantasy meets reality

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts