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  1. #1
    Good thing's happening

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    Default Tricks or pranks or fake tools...

    I know this is one everyone has input for whether or not its been done to you or youve done it to others or heard about it..share them...

    One of my first ones was the left handed spanner...but luckily i was told during training its universal so that didnt work..another one i cannot even type it but its some sort of valve and i stood there like hunh what valve did i miss something ?


    Rob

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    Cant forget about the classics

    The water hammer
    The Q winder
    The FNG
    Your a daisy if you do.

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    The "left handed smoke shifter".
    Just know, I chose my own fate. I drove by the fork in the road and went straight.

    Quote Originally Posted by FlyingKiwi View Post
    Go put your pussy 2 1/2" lines away kiddies.

    Quote Originally Posted by Explorer343

    By the way KEEPBACK200FEET, you're so dramatic!

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    The henway.













    Whats a henway?
    5-6 pounds!
    Gravity, not just a good idea....
    Its THE LAW!

    Sanity is not statistical.

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    I have done this while doing truck check as the new guy to check the brake fluid. It is great to watch look at the engine for a while confused but he knows it is in there.
    Another thing I heard was one shift left their cabnet unlocked in the kitchen and someone tied a string from one cabinet door to the other and put the string behind all the cans and food so when they opened the doors it sucked all the food out.
    We had one guy that was ruthless and just plain mean so one day in the winter on his winter coat (not bunker gear) we zip-tied both zippers together and wrapped them with tape. He obviously figured it out but at the end of shift it took him some time to undo it. It might not have been the most creative but it got him to bring it down a notch.

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    One of the guys in my department apparently was told to find a left handed screwdriver. And he brought a screwdriver and was told it wasn't left handed, so he went back to looking.....

  7. #7
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    Probie, go gemme a bucket of prop wash!

    AJ, MICP, FireMedic
    Member, IACOJ.
    FTM-PTB-EGH-DTRT-RFB-KTF
    This message has been made longer, in part from a grant from the You Are a Freaking Moron Foundation.

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    Default New guy jokes

    Years ago,another bosun's mate in my destroyer sent a new kid fresh from Basic over to the tender USS Sierra(a WW2 vintage ship,even!) to ask the First Lieutenant(the deck officer)for 60 fathoms of Fallopian tube.
    On the advice of my legal counsel,I have forgotten whether or not the Petty officer who ordered the supply run knew that the 1st LT was a woman.

    Or another oldie but goodie from the Navy:the mail buoy watch.
    This is where a new guy is designated to watch for the mail buoy and to snag it with a boathook while wearing a phone talker's helmet painted purple(it looks like the head of a certain external male organ),sound powered phone hooked into a circuit no one even uses at sea,big rubber firefighting boots and draped with a cargo net(wouldn't want the lad falling overboard while performing his duties now,would we?).
    One time,the First Division Chief kicked it to a new level by getting a fake Plan of the Day printed up and posted with this guy's name on it as Mail Buoy Watch 1600-2000.
    The thing is,this guy was supposed to have had reported aboard just hours before we were getting underway for a homeport change and in reality,literally just threw his seabag across the quarterdeck as we were singling up the mooring lines.
    As we performed the jobs of getting underway,the word got passed(with the connivance of the Captain who also enjoyed a good prank,for the Mail Buoy Watch to lay to the foc'sle.Since no one abviously showed up,the word got changed to "Seaman Apprentice Jones,lay to the foc'sle on the double."
    SA Jones arrived wondering why he'd been announced over the 1MC his first day and had to endure a E-7 and E-6 laying into him worse than he'd received during Basic Training.
    As he protested his innocence,Chief Brown and BM1 Smith chewed on him as only a Chief and 1st class Bosun can for not reading the POD and knowing his watch even if it was his first day aboard.
    We got him dressed out as described above just in time for the ship to pass the marker buoy for the harbor.The Chief went simulated ballistic on this poor kid because the ship immediately turned North on course for Norfolk and the kid thought he'd royally screwed up because we were passing a buoy,he was"The Mail Buoy watch",and there's 40 bosun's mates who wanted letters from home between him and the watertight doors leaving the foc'sle.
    He thought he was about to really catch H for messing up retrieving the ship's mail and have to fight his way off the foc'sle to get back to his division berthing compartment.
    He didn't think it was funny how he'd been had but later in a shipyard period,he helped get another guy during a simulated exercise where we performed the jobs of going to sea without actually getting underway.He helped get a guy to do mail buoy watch while inport!
    Last edited by doughesson; 07-25-2007 at 04:26 PM.

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    I had gotten a load of popcorn styrophone peanuts and brought them back to the station. I was bout 1/3 yards worth. Well,the guys fiiled up someones locker in the locker room....



    Unfortunately, he thought I did it and then filled up my trunk with the rest of them. I didn't open the trunk till the night prior to leaving out for a Caribean cruise and at home it was quite windy.
    Unfortunately it was early November... I picked up peanuts till early March after the snow melted.

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    Have any of you guys tryed making the new guy "pop the clutch" with a K-12/Quickie saw/etc?

    Saw it on youtube the other day and was rolling.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_nJIK1VLLs
    Your a daisy if you do.

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    Get me a metric screwdriver kid.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ftfdverbenec770 View Post
    Have any of you guys tryed making the new guy "pop the clutch" with a K-12/Quickie saw/etc?

    Saw it on youtube the other day and was rolling.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_nJIK1VLLs

    That is classic! Going into the vault.
    Never argue with an Idiot. They drag you down to their level, and then beat you with experience!

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    I can't take credit for it, but send them to neighboring stations or departments for a can of friction loss. Best one yet in my opinion, though the K12 alternative starting technique is pretty awesome.
    "Share your knowledge - it's a way to achieve immortality." - Stolen from Chase Sargent's Buddy to Boss program

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    Eaglesrule, would that be a Knuter Valve? (Spelling)

    How about putting winter air in the apparatus tires?

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    50 feet of shore line

    instant canned water... just add water

    radiator belt

    keys for the engine

    can of beep for horns


    for the really dense... halogen for the headlights and blinker fluid

    some of the ones i have heard of.
    The opinions I post to these forums do not represent any entity to which I am affiliated.

  16. #16
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    Talking And............

    My all time favorite, The Metric Crescent Wrench.......
    Never use Force! Get a Bigger Hammer.
    In memory of
    Chief Earle W. Woods, 1912 - 1997
    Asst. Chief John R. Woods Sr. 1937 - 2006

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    Two that I remember:

    The cigarette identifier.

    The turn signal fluid
    Greater love has no man than to lay his life down for a friend.

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    [QUOTE=npfd801;889089]I can't take credit for it, but send them to neighboring stations or departments for a can of friction loss. QUOTE]

    Yep, I got sent to the Mechanic's Shop to fetch a can of Friction Loss when I was a probie... Another poor sap was convinced that the air in all the engine's tires had to be changed the first Sunday of the month...

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    Quote Originally Posted by hwoods View Post
    My all time favorite, The Metric Crescent Wrench.......
    I'll have to put that with my screwdriver. .

  20. #20
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    Talking Sure......................

    Quote Originally Posted by len1582 View Post
    I'll have to put that with my screwdriver. .
    Don't forget the other Metric Tools, You can have a whole set: Visegrips, Channel locks, Hammer, Crowbar, Pipe Wrench, Etc............


    If you are concerned with identifying your tools on a job where items get scattered and mixed. send the Probie out for a can of Striped Spray Paint. If the Hardware Store is out of Stripe Spray, get a regular "Brush on" Stripe Paint, and a Right Hand Brush.......... The Brush should be 2 inches, or, if a 2inch brush is not available, 1/6 of a foot will work...........
    Last edited by hwoods; 11-26-2007 at 10:41 AM.
    Never use Force! Get a Bigger Hammer.
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    When I was in the Navy, the mail buoy watch was popular. I had a friend on the USS Constellation (aircraft carrier). The Captain went along with the prank too. They didn't have flight ops going on, so when the kid shouted into the phones that he saw it (In the middle of the ocean over 1000 miles from Hawaii), the Captain stopped the ship. Then chewed him out.

    I worked in the engineroom on a tender. We sent guys out for a steam blanket for the boilers. Bucket of steam, 100'ft of gig line.

    1 poor sucker got sent from stem to stern looking for 10 ft of fallopian tubing. The female doctor was not happy when he ended up in her office.

    1 guy was told to draw a lube oil sample for testing from an electric motor. We couldn't figure out where he got the oil from, but he found some and took it to the oil lab. They told him they couldn't accept it because it didn't have the Chief Engineers signature. 2:00am, the Engineer called us over the intercom to express her displeasure at our joke.

    When sending someone out for one of these items, it is important for them to have the right paperwork. Frequently they would be told that the left-handed screw driver is available, do you have your Form ID-TEN-T (ID10T) so you can check it out?

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    I never fell for this one on my old vollie department but we got one hot shot Explorer on going under the rig to check the pressure in the spare tire.He kept hollering that he couldn't find it until the Captain coached him into sliding up underneath the pump drain.
    When he was in mid wail that he STILL couldn't find it,the engineer opened the drain valve.

    Here's another one from the Navy:the seabat.
    This is a critter that infests Navy ships and can only be found when a bunch of new guys is on board.
    When the Chiefs find one,it is captured using ASPCA approved techniques(this IS the New US Navy,of course) and carried back to the fantail for showing off in a box.
    According to the SPCA,the box can no longer be kicked to stir up the seabat but must be left on the deck and viewers must bend over or lay down on the deck to see this unusual denizen of the deep.
    When the viewer is bent over to look into the box,the bristle end of a broom is applied vigorously to the hapless sailors "sternsheets".
    And ,of course,the Chiefs properly release the seabat into its natural habitat after all new sailors have properly been shown a seabat.
    Don't you just love happy endings?

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    Quote Originally Posted by kd7fds View Post
    The female doctor was not happy when he ended up in her office.

    the Engineer called us over the intercom to express her displeasure at our joke.

    When sending someone out for one of these items, it is important for them to have the right paperwork. Frequently they would be told that the left-handed screw driver is available, do you have your Form ID-TEN-T (ID10T) so you can check it out?
    Man,is it a good thing we didn't have women officers in my destroyer in the 80s.Some of us would still be in the brig at Norfolk.
    Cycling the engineer's sound powered phone circuit through all stations while cranking on the alert ringer at 0200 was fun.We got to hear all the stations piping up:"Main Control,Number Two Fireroom,Petty officer Jones speaking,and lastly(in a sleepy voice)Chief Engineer"and the real funny parts:"Why'd you call us?I didn't call you,y'all called me!"and no one seemed to figure out the one station that wasn't signing onto the circuit while this was going on.
    If paperwork is needed,we'd always be sure to demand a Bravo Alpha 1100 November form(BA1100N) or a Bravo 1 Romeo Delta(B1RD) form to confirm issue and return of all First Division equipment.

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    Unless I missed it, no one has mentioned getting new spark plugs for the engine yet?

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    Default Hot water in the Indian tanks..

    We had a newbie convinced that you needed to fill the wild land Indian tanks with hot water because cold water evaporates quicker.
    "If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles."
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