Thread: Favorite Jokes

  1. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by RFRDxplorer View Post
    As a Sabres fan that joke was awesome! I just broke out laughing here in class and my teacher is like WTH?
    I know man. I love it nearly wet my pants the first time I ever read it. Leafs Suck.
    If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

    Ryan

  2. #27
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    Cool

    Quote Originally Posted by ndvfdff33 View Post
    Most of my jokes would probably get me banned for life. I kind of like this place so I think I'll avoid it.
    SISSY!!!!!!

  3. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by davjohnson View Post
    SISSY!!!!!!
    And your jokes are where???
    If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

    Ryan

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    Cool Here's a couple.....

    Here are a couple from my Nephew:

    Where do you find a dog with no legs?

    A: Right where you left 'em......


    What do you call a deaf dog?

    A: It don't matter they ain't comin' anyways.....
    "Be LOUD, Be PROUD..... It just might save your can someday when goin' through an intersection!!!!!"

    Life on the Truck (Quint) is good.....

    Eat til you're sleepy..... Sleep til you're hungry..... And repeat.....

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    Talking

    What do you call a deer with no eyes?

    No ideer

    What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

    Still no ideer

    What do you call a deer with no eyes, legs or dick?

    Still no f&^king ideer....

    I could go on.....working on kids camps means I have dozens of these sorts of really really sad but clean jokes

  6. #31
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    What do you call a man with no legs or arms at your front door?

    Matt

    What do you call a man with no legs or arms in the water?

    Bob

  7. #32
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    What do you call a guy with no arms and legs in the woods?
    Russell

    Guy with a shovel
    Doug

    Without a shovel
    Dougless

    Guy with a seagull on his head
    Cliff

    Woman with one leg
    Ilene

    Chinese woman with one leg
    Irene

    and finally
    A guy with 50 rabbits up his a$%e
    WARREN!!!

  8. #33
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    "If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
    ...George W. Bush
    "The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."
    ...Governor George W. Bush, 9/15/95
    "One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'."
    ...Governor George W. Bush, 12/6/93
    "I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future."
    ...Governor George W. Bush
    "I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican."
    ...Governor George W. Bush
    "A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."
    ...Governor George W. Bush
    "For NASA, space is still a high priority."
    ...Governor George W. Bush, 9/5/93
    "Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."
    ...Governor George W. Bush , 9/18/95
    "Public speaking is very easy."
    ...Governor George W. Bush to reporters

    Back in the 2000 election, Al Gore was showing George W. his new body peircings which included nipple rings. Bush liked the idea so he went out and got himself a Dick Cheney.
    Firefighter/EMT
    My words stated here do not necessarily point towards organizations which I am affiliated with.

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    Red face

    Oooo ooo
    You forgot one of the best Bush quotes around

    "Most of our imports come from overseas!"

    Yep thanks for clearing that up for us dubya.......

  10. #35
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    1. A chinese man goes to the eye doctors

    Doc: "Do you have a cataract?"

    Man: "No, I have a Rincoln"

    2. Farmer's divorce:

    The farmer went into a lawyer's office and said, "I want one of them there dayvorces."

    The lawyer said, "Do you have grounds?"

    The farmer said, "Yes, I have 140 acres."

    The lawyer said, "No you don't understand. Do you have a case?"

    The farmer said, "No, I have a John Deere."

    The lawyer said, "You still don't understand. Do you have a grudge?"

    The farmer said, "Yes, that's what I park my John Deere under every night."

    The lawyer said, "You still don't understand. Do you have a suit?"

    The farmer said, "Yes, I wear it to church every Sunday."

    The lawyer said, "Does she beat you up?"

    The farmer said, "No, we both get up about 4:30 every morning."
    "The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up"-Steven Wright

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