1. #1
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    Default Spare Santa a thought.

    There are approximately 2 billion children in the world. But since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist religions, this reduces his workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million.

    At an average rate of 3.5 children per household that comes to 108 million homes, presuming there is at least one good child in each.

    Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to do his work due to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west. This works out to 967.7 visits a second.

    Santa has 1/1000 of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, select the correct presents, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, slap the rest of the presents under the tree, eat and drink whatever was put out for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and go to the next house.

    His sleigh will be moving at 650 miles an second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. The sleigh is also going to weigh over 500,000 tons, not counting Santa himself. And lets not even think about the G forces he will consistently experience starting and stopping.

    A conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds, so instead of 8 or 9 of them Santa will need around 360,000 reindeer (thats a LOT of doggy doo bags people).

    So next time you are having a bad day, spare him a thought.
    Psychiatrists state 1 in 4 people has a mental illness.
    Look at three of your friends, if they are ok, your it.

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    Cool

    Does his sleigh have runners "down there"???

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    Keep it seemly please.

    This is a family show.

    Only Mrs Clause checks out "down there".
    Psychiatrists state 1 in 4 people has a mental illness.
    Look at three of your friends, if they are ok, your it.

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    Cool

    Quote Originally Posted by FlyingKiwi View Post
    Keep it seemly please.

    This is a family show.

    Only Mrs Clause checks out "down there".
    You're the one being unseemly. Some of us at the top of the world use the term when referring to the other half!!! LOL

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    I do more than just "give Santa a thought" each year, I lead him around Vienna in a 2005 Ford F350, while he rides around in the back of a 1946 Maxim!
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

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    Does his sleigh have runners "down there"???
    Sorry.

    My mistake.

    Down here THAT would be what we call his roof rack.
    Psychiatrists state 1 in 4 people has a mental illness.
    Look at three of your friends, if they are ok, your it.

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    I suspect that Santa has to delegate his authority among several helpers. The cookies would be a perk to the job.. That would explain why every town seems to have a Santa.
    I fish for a living, but I have to work for money...

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    Talking

    Maybe thats why santa is never seen. He is just moving to darn fast!
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    Quote Originally Posted by MalahatTwo7 View Post
    I do more than just "give Santa a thought" each year, I lead him around Vienna in a 2005 Ford F350, while he rides around in the back of a 1946 Maxim!
    Down here, Santa prefers to be lead by an 02 Expedition, while riding a 1960 ALF 900 Series Pumper.

    Damn that is one sweet truck, and I got to drive it.
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    This message has been made longer, in part from a grant from the You Are a Freaking Moron Foundation.

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