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  1. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by frenchfireball View Post
    do not move or i kill everyone in this copter,ok?now,go to......
    Struggling for air, I awoke from this crazy dream to find myself soaked in sweat and tied with the phone cord from the nightstand. I must have lapsed into unconsciousness after the torture session. Did I tell any secrets? I cannot remember.. I hope I haven't jeopardized the mission.... I can't believe I got caught. We are supposed to be the good guys, not the one's who need help.. My thoughts were racing wild as I searched for some way to free the binding on my wrists. If only they hadn't found the pen knife I keep in the sole of my shoes. A quick look revealed that I still was wearing my shoes, and they hadn't found the pocket in the tongue. Now, if I could only reach my feet with my hands behind my back. All of those Yoga lessions brought many laughs from my buddies, but hopefully, yes, it worked.. I got my knife... Footsteps... somebody's comming...
    I fish for a living, but I have to work for money...

  2. #27
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    A man I've never seen before is standing in the doorway.
    "Who the hell are you?" I ask.
    He replies.........
    It's not the destination, but the journey that matters.

    Stay safe

  3. #28
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    He replies....

    "Luke, I am your father"

    "Wait!? My names not Luke!" I said.

    "Oh, sorry about that, must have been the wrong door." He looks outside and says "Yup, sorry for the confusion!" and he leaves as quickly as he came.


    "Hmmmm, that was weird" I said.
    I continued to untie myself and had made it to the doorway when.....

  4. #29
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    ...the entire Barnum and Bailey Circus rolls by my house and behind them comes 10,000 people chanting, "Send in the clown!", followed by the Cloverfield Monster destroying Metropolis and that's when Sky Captain flew down from the World of Tomorrow and...

  5. #30
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    ...Said, "Fear not Fair Maiden Ms Kitty. For I shall save you from..... "
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

  6. #31
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    ...Your delusional, drug induced state. He then started an IV and administered some Narcan. That's when I finally realized...
    Fire Lieutenant/E.M.T.
    IAFF Local 2339
    K of C 4th Degree
    "LEATHER FOREVER"
    Member I.A.C.O.J.
    http://www.tfdfire.com/
    "Fir na tine"

  7. #32
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    That squirrels and cats just don't mix so I.........

  8. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by firecat1 View Post
    That squirrels and cats just don't mix so I.........
    .....decided to get the blender to see if that was actually true. But when I was going to throw the cat and the squirrel in the blender someone walked through the door and said.......

  9. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by WeidFire17 View Post
    .....decided to get the blender to see if that was actually true. But when I was going to throw the cat and the squirrel in the blender someone walked through the door and said.......
    "hey you do not touch my friends,let them go and......
    "sauver ou périr"

    "courage et dévouement"

    2 french mottoes in french fire service.

  10. #35
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    ...come give me some love'n you big hunk of woman. And then you said"...
    Just someone trying to help! (And by the way....Thanks for YOUR help!)

    Aggressive does not have to equal stupid.

    ** "The comments made here are this person's views and possibly that of the organizations to which I am affiliated" **

  11. #36
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    I said ................. "Sure, baby!" Smiling and wrapped my arms round you, planting a gentle kiss on your lips. And you responded by.........
    It's not the destination, but the journey that matters.

    Stay safe

  12. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by MaryJane69 View Post
    I said ................. "Sure, baby!" Smiling and wrapped my arms round you, planting a gentle kiss on your lips. And you responded by.........

    shouting:"come on babe,move your tiny *** and be more sexy for me and.....
    "sauver ou périr"

    "courage et dévouement"

    2 french mottoes in french fire service.

  13. #38
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    How sexy would you like me to be? Should I strip for you or something?
    It's not the destination, but the journey that matters.

    Stay safe

  14. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by MaryJane69 View Post
    How sexy would you like me to be? Should I strip for you or something?

    "nah,not really,get in that TDA and then wear my bunker gear coat (only the coat!)and grab the IRONS,after you could......
    "sauver ou périr"

    "courage et dévouement"

    2 french mottoes in french fire service.

  15. #40
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    ...jump in a mud puddle and wrestle with the girls from the bayou...

  16. #41
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    ... because, this one time...., at band camp...
    I fish for a living, but I have to work for money...

  17. #42
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    ...there was a spider who thought he could play the bagpipes but.....

  18. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by firecat1 View Post
    ...there was a spider who thought he could play the bagpipes but.....
    he could not and it was a real PITA for the ears to listen to......
    "sauver ou périr"

    "courage et dévouement"

    2 french mottoes in french fire service.

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    InaGadaDavida on the pipes. The spider was accompanied by a piano playing......

  20. #45
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    ....starfish, who was a real diva, thought it should be a solo act but....

  21. #46
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    Everytime she got excited she would split.... down the middle and then the solo act would become a DUO........
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

  22. #47
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    ... and they would dance seductively on the stage to the sounds of....
    Luke

  23. #48
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    "....Shaving Cream! Be nice and clean. Shave every day and you'll always be......"






































    {and yes, for you youngsters out there, there is a song that follows those words! }
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

  24. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by MalahatTwo7 View Post
    "....Shaving Cream! Be nice and clean. Shave every day and you'll always be......"






































    {and yes, for you youngsters out there, there is a song that follows those words! }
    "a gentleman with a great skin and.......


    ps:i dunno the song,lol.
    "sauver ou périr"

    "courage et dévouement"

    2 french mottoes in french fire service.

  25. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by frenchfireball View Post
    "a gentleman with a great skin and.......


    ps:i dunno the song,lol.
    Taking two paces to the right, for a sideline story.....

    Here are the words:

    ARTIST: Benny Bell with Paul Wynn
    TITLE: Shaving Cream
    Lyrics and Chords


    I have a sad story to tell you
    It may hurt your feelings a bit
    Last night when I walked into my bathroom
    I stepped in a big pile of

    / C - - - / - - G7 - / - - C - / F G7 /

    {Refrain}
    Shaving cream, be nice and clean
    Shave everyday and you'll always look keen


    / C - - - / F C G7 C /

    I think I'll break off with my girlfriend
    Her antics are queer I'll admit
    Each time I say, "Darling, I love you"
    She tells me that I'm full of

    {Refrain}

    Our baby fell out of the window
    You'd think that her head would be split
    But good luck was with her that morning
    She fell in a barrel of

    {Refrain}

    An old lady died in a bathtub
    She died from a terrible fit
    In order to fulfill her wishes
    She was buried in six feet of

    {Refrain}

    When I was in France with the army
    One day I looked into my kit
    I thought I would find me a sandwich
    But the darn thing was loaded with

    {Refrain}

    And now, folks, my story is ended
    I think it is time I should quit
    If any of you feel offended
    Stick your head in a barrel of

    {Refrain}

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