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  1. #41
    Forum Member rhvfd1214's Avatar
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    ... because, this one time...., at band camp...
    I fish for a living, but I have to work for money...


  2. #42
    Forum Member firecat1's Avatar
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    ...there was a spider who thought he could play the bagpipes but.....

  3. #43
    Forum Member frenchfireball's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by firecat1 View Post
    ...there was a spider who thought he could play the bagpipes but.....
    he could not and it was a real PITA for the ears to listen to......
    "sauver ou périr"

    "courage et dévouement"

    2 french mottoes in french fire service.

  4. #44
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    InaGadaDavida on the pipes. The spider was accompanied by a piano playing......

  5. #45
    Forum Member firecat1's Avatar
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    ....starfish, who was a real diva, thought it should be a solo act but....

  6. #46
    MembersZone Subscriber MalahatTwo7's Avatar
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    Everytime she got excited she would split.... down the middle and then the solo act would become a DUO........
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

  7. #47
    FIGJAM lutan1's Avatar
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    ... and they would dance seductively on the stage to the sounds of....
    Luke

  8. #48
    MembersZone Subscriber MalahatTwo7's Avatar
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    "....Shaving Cream! Be nice and clean. Shave every day and you'll always be......"






































    {and yes, for you youngsters out there, there is a song that follows those words! }
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

  9. #49
    Forum Member frenchfireball's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MalahatTwo7 View Post
    "....Shaving Cream! Be nice and clean. Shave every day and you'll always be......"






































    {and yes, for you youngsters out there, there is a song that follows those words! }
    "a gentleman with a great skin and.......


    ps:i dunno the song,lol.
    "sauver ou périr"

    "courage et dévouement"

    2 french mottoes in french fire service.

  10. #50
    MembersZone Subscriber MalahatTwo7's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by frenchfireball View Post
    "a gentleman with a great skin and.......


    ps:i dunno the song,lol.
    Taking two paces to the right, for a sideline story.....

    Here are the words:

    ARTIST: Benny Bell with Paul Wynn
    TITLE: Shaving Cream
    Lyrics and Chords


    I have a sad story to tell you
    It may hurt your feelings a bit
    Last night when I walked into my bathroom
    I stepped in a big pile of

    / C - - - / - - G7 - / - - C - / F G7 /

    {Refrain}
    Shaving cream, be nice and clean
    Shave everyday and you'll always look keen


    / C - - - / F C G7 C /

    I think I'll break off with my girlfriend
    Her antics are queer I'll admit
    Each time I say, "Darling, I love you"
    She tells me that I'm full of

    {Refrain}

    Our baby fell out of the window
    You'd think that her head would be split
    But good luck was with her that morning
    She fell in a barrel of

    {Refrain}

    An old lady died in a bathtub
    She died from a terrible fit
    In order to fulfill her wishes
    She was buried in six feet of

    {Refrain}

    When I was in France with the army
    One day I looked into my kit
    I thought I would find me a sandwich
    But the darn thing was loaded with

    {Refrain}

    And now, folks, my story is ended
    I think it is time I should quit
    If any of you feel offended
    Stick your head in a barrel of

    {Refrain}

  11. #51
    Forum Member rhvfd1214's Avatar
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    ...with the sounds of shaving cream in the background, nobody notices the stranger who steps in backstage.. Suddenly the spot light shifts to this strange being, which is now apparantly a walking sea urchin. The urchin grabs the microphone from the starfish and states.."I like cheetos..."
    I fish for a living, but I have to work for money...

  12. #52
    Forum Member firecat1's Avatar
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    and the starfish has a hissy and throws fig newtons at the urchin, screaming....."......"

  13. #53
    Forum Member volfirie's Avatar
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    and the starfish has a hissy and throws fig newtons at the urchin, screaming....."

    pudding? How can you have any pudding when you haven't eaten your...
    "Professional" means your attitude to the job...

    Nullus Anxietas ..... (T Pratchett)

  14. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by volfirie View Post
    and the starfish has a hissy and throws fig newtons at the urchin, screaming....."

    pudding? How can you have any pudding when you haven't eaten your...
    ...human intestines soaked in soy sauce...

  15. #55
    Forum Member rhvfd1214's Avatar
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    As all of this was happening on stage, something more sinister was taking place. Just out of range of the U.S. satellites, the Interstellar Global Bovine Liberation Force was preparing for a raid on Planet Earth with the sole purpose of destroying the evil men that had held their outpost colony of cows as hostages since they were placed on the planet thousands of years before. For years, their kind had been abused, and mistreated... But not anymore... NOT ANYMORE!!! The IGBLF had arrived!!
    I fish for a living, but I have to work for money...

  16. #56
    Forum Member firecat1's Avatar
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    ...and Miss Kitty, calling on one of her lives, gets into camo and arms up. "I'm a carnivore and they're taking my steak over my dead body". Whistling a battle hymn, she starts a weapons check.........

  17. #57
    Forum Member rhvfd1214's Avatar
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    The IGBLF commanders were going over their plan. It had to work flawlessly. The first stage would be to infiltrate the Earthbound herds and supply weapons to their kindred, thereby increasing the size of their force to almost nearly double its already massive count. The second stage would be a silent attack on the supplies of milk. A non-toxic sleeping virus would be transmitted into the milk supplies of the Earth, causing all who drink it to fall helplessly into a coma-like siesta, thereby rendering all affected by the virus harmless. The third phase of the plan is to systematically destroy each and every square inch of barbed-wire fence, just for the symbolism involved, and for no other reason. And the final phase of the plan, take over the humans power stations while engaging any hostile forces with hoof to horn contact if necessary. During this final battle, the end goal would be to garner control of the Government that controls all Bovine on Earth, the Canadians, as it is believed that the Canadians are the true rulers of the Earth as we know it...
    I fish for a living, but I have to work for money...

  18. #58
    Forum Member rhvfd1214's Avatar
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    All of the flight decks of the IGBLF mothership were being made ready for the invasion. There was a bustle of activity among all landing crews. Preparations were being made for the long, bloody battle that they all anticipated.. The vials of sleeping virus were stored in bottles, and all crew suited up in their armored blankets.

    Somewhere, in an obscure corner of Earth, on an uncharted island just off the coast of Antartica, an elite team of Earth's best defenders has picked up an unusual signature of an unknown spacecraft. It was almost missed, but the tale-tell sign of methane gas that was solidifying on the outside of the ship gave it away. It had to be the Cows.. It had been thousands of years since they had last tried to take over Earth, and surely they had returned once again to complete the tasks.. What should they do?

    A recon team was quickly formed, and launched to inspect the spacecraft. The recon team confirmed the Earth defenders' worst fears. Cows... Millions of them, now positioned behind Earth's moon, and preparing for War. The warning had to go out.

    It had been centuries since the last time humans and animals had teamed up to fight off this old nemisiss... Could they do it again? They must. The Elite Defenders couldn't contain the Cows by themselves.. The alert must go out, and NOW. It was time for the Penguins and Humans to set aside their differences, and work together. After all, Penguins have protected the Humans for eons. It was their sworn duty to the Galactic Counsel since the beginning of Earth time. But this threat was greater than ever before. The Penguins had to call for more help before engaging the simple minded humans with direct contact. A quick telecom communication on a subaudible Earth network went out..... "Turkeys Respond, Code 4, Emminent Threat, Global Destruction Possible.." It was the Penguins only chance of getting a united force to join with the humans.. Every since Ben Franklin, the Turkeys were the only way to communicate with the humans....
    I fish for a living, but I have to work for money...

  19. #59
    Forum Member firecat1's Avatar
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    ...waking from sleep in his tree, The Squirrel thought he heard something. Sticking his head out of the hole, his little ears turning this way and that, he zeroed in on the subsonic waves and.............

  20. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by firecat1 View Post
    ...waking from sleep in his tree, The Squirrel thought he heard something. Sticking his head out of the hole, his little ears turning this way and that, he zeroed in on the subsonic waves and.............
    ...that's when he was decapitated by a chain saw and that was the end of the squirrel, but then...

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