1. #76
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    ".... Two pee off. These mellons are 0.02 p off the regular price." To which the Squirrel and Miss Kitty replied....
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

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    Default and the saga continues... :D

    "..et tu Brutus?" Brutus was the only squirrel that Miss Kitty wouldn't kill and eat. She had returned to the countryside as a direct order from the Feline Command. She was supposed to be on a fact finding detail as part of the recon against the Chicken's alliance, but somehow she found her old friend, Brutus. Brutus was a fiesty red fox squirrel that had outwitted Miss Kitty on several occasions. As it is with warriors, a respect was developed between them after years of so called "Cat and mouse/squirrel" games between them. Miss Kitty now depended on Brutus for his wit and stealth. It was happenchance for them to find each other, but she would soon find out that Brutus was searching for her help.
    "Miss Kitty," Brutus proceded, "I've looked high and low for you. I found the disabled turkey drones and have been listening to the traffic on the Earth-net about the Cows. I have information about the Chicken alliance that you might need." His voice was concerned and deliberate. "Miss Kitty, the Chickens are developing a virus to be injected into the eggs that the humans are expected to consume. The virus will cause the humans to lose all bowel control and also cause extreme nausia. They have already began to deploy the virus among the human populations in New Guinea, and other nearby countries." Miss Kitty listened intently as the squirrel offered the information. They were sharing a melon that she had gotten at a local market before she had found Brutus. "Brutus, my old friend," she said, "Thank-you for the information. Once again, you have proved to be a true friend in the fight to preserve the human's well being. Your help will be noted among the Feline Battalions." And, with a shake of paws, the two old warriors departed from the tree they had shared, and went their seperate ways. Miss Kitty had to get a quick message to the Penguins to notify them about the threat..
    I fish for a living, but I have to work for money...

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    but she could not communicate to the Penguins in her usual way. Miss Kitty was beside her self. How could she communicate the danger without compromising the situation. There was only one chance. Miss Kitty must trust..

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    .... trust the Firefighter Nutcracker from Station 1 to pass the message to the penguins. His plan for transmission was to use his trusty 1 3/4" straight stream smoothbore...................
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

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    (1 3/4 smoothbore)...which contained a portable G5RV antenna that was rolled out and attached to his amateur radio set that he kept hidden under his cot at the station. After a quick CQ, he made a contact in Bolivia, which helped his collection of QSL cards, but didn't contact a single penguin operative. He switched over to a CW net, and after a few minutes of listening, he was able to send the message to an operator that was stationed in New Guinea. Unbeknowst to the firefighter, though, the operator was actually a Chicken. Chickens cannot talk in English, but they can tap out Morse Code like no tomorrow. The Chicken responded with a message telling the Firefighter that he would relay the message to a Penguin station, but all the while, the Chicken was actually transmitting Miss Kitty's coodinates to the Cow command. She would have company very soon. The Cows developed a plan to capture Miss Kitty, and use her as a hostage to distract the Penguins. It was an evil plan, and they intended to follow through with it. Unfortunately for them, though, Miss Kitty was going to prove herself more elusive than they ever imagined...
    I fish for a living, but I have to work for money...

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    Miss Kitty had returned to the forest, but she began having doubts about the Firefighter Nutcracker... He seemed too eager to help. She snuck back to the firefighter's station to find him. That is when she discovered his secret identity... He was a Chicken Lover!!! She was terribly offended by this revelation.. After a few hours of recon, she tiptoed into his quarters, and apprehended the firefighter by taping his hands behind his back as he slept on his cot. She tied him to the bunk, stripped him of his clothes and proceded to interrogate him. For each time he refused to respond, she would drag her sharp claws down his chest. If he struggled against his bondage, she would draw blood. It was very effective torture, but unfortunately, this nutcracker didn't know enough information. He had been used by his Chicken friends to begin the virus implants, unwittingly, as it was apparant that he too was beginning to get sick. Miss Kitty, not being one to take being double crossed too lightly, poured pancake syrup all over the half naked fellow, and left him tied to the bunk. His humiliation would be enough for her, as his fellow crew returned from thier visit to the local hospital. (They had all come down with severe bowel distress because they had eaten tainted eggs for breakfast.) Just for effect, she left a pair of the human's female underwear for his buddies to find, with a note, "Thanks for a great afternoon..."
    As she returned to her campsite, she was giddy with laughter. She could still hear the humans raising heck with the bound firefighter.. When she got into her den, somebody was waiting for her....
    I fish for a living, but I have to work for money...

  7. #82
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    .. She could detect the scent of a familar cat. When she made eye contact, she could barely contain herself.. "Papa!" She cried, "How did you find me?" Her eyes were big and round with emotion. "Denise, It's been a long time." Indeed, it had been a long time. She hadn't heard her first name called since she joined the Feline Infantry. Her papa didn't approve of her joining the military, and he hadn't supported her decision. He was an old lion of a warrior himself, having served the Feline Infantry since his childhood and eventually rising to the rank of a Two Paw General. He had retired from service as Miss Kitty was just beginning her comission.
    "Papa," she asked, "what brings you here, and how did you find me?" She was puzzled by his presence, even though she was happy to see him. "Denise, I've still got my ways," he smiled through his cunning... "I've never approved of your service, but I still try to watch out for my offspring." He continued, "I've been keeping up with the news from my friends at the FI, and I know that there is a major threat that has developed." His voice was stern and his tone deliberate. "I've come to offer you my services, directly. You have far exceeded my expectations with your abilities, and for that, you have made me proud." She hadn't expected to hear such words from her pa, but, yet, here he was, telling her to her face. "But Papa, what is it that you know? Did you really come here to discuss the infantry? What about..." He placed a tender paw against her lips. "Denise, let me talk." She stood there, quietly. "I've seen the communications about the Chickens and the Cows. I have been informed on the threat that is being developed against the humans. You know as well as I do that it is our sworn duty to protect the humans. We've held this pact since early times on this planet, and it is a service that we do proudly. Denise, I've re-enlisted, and now I am your commanding officer. I've come here to give you your orders, and to supervise your deployment. We have a changing world in our midst, and the possibility for loss is great." Miss Kitty marveled at the speach her own Papa was giving to her. He seemed to talk with the assurance of a greater power. She had so many questions to ask, but dared not interrupt him, for now, he would no longer be just Papa, he was now General McCatlion. She remembered his devout service records that were touted in her training classes. He was a mastermind at sniper and assault activities.. He had single handedly worked several missions that would never be known to the humans. Like the time he destroyed a oppossum uprising in the Southern United States after that big hurricane destroyed their national forrest. He also stopped the armadillo assault against the Highway systems that the humans depended on. "Papa, er, General McCatlion," She retorted, "Thank-you for coming.." Her words were that of a child, grateful to see their parents after the first day of school...
    I fish for a living, but I have to work for money...

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    "Denise"? UGH! Sierra!

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    The Chickens were watching as their virus plan took effect. All over the Human news broadcasts were stories of an "e-coli" outbreak. Little did the humans know the true cause.. Through-out the chicken network messages trickled back and forth about the upcomming assault. The Cows, meanwhile, were working out the logistics of their realigned landing forces. No longer could they depend on the Earth cows for support, so they had to hit strategic areas to interrupt the human food supplies. Their reasoning was that if they could interrupt the food supplies, while the chicken-virus disabled the human resistance, then they could effectively stop any human defences. The cows had difficulty deciding how to handle the Penguin Defenders... Perhaps... Maybe the Penguins could be disarmed by the same methods as the humans. The Cows contacted the Chicken High Command and began discussing an insertion plan for contaminating the Penguin food supply. If the Penguin fish supply was infected with a similar bowel distress virus, then the entire Penguin Defender Network would grind to a halt. After all, every army in the known Universe moves on its stomach. If you can stop the food supply and interrupt their eating, resistance to an invasion will be minimum. A coded message was sent to the Chicken's Scientific counsel to develope a fish borne virus. The plans seemed fool proof and execution should be simple. They were sorely mistaken...
    I fish for a living, but I have to work for money...

  10. #85
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    ... The Penguin Aerospace Command had received those plans and squadrons of Flying Penguins were covertly assembling in little known places called Cape Breton and the Magdalen Islands to ......
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

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    ...to...prepare for an arial assault on ground based chicken coups and warehouses.

    Joey Truegrass was a simple man, a farmer. He drove the same pickup truck that his dad had left when he died. On average, he would have in the neighborhood of 20,000 chickens on hand any day of the week. He was preparing the auger feeding system for the mornings rations of chicken feed. He had awaken early, before his normal 4:30 a.m. routine. For some reason, he was uneasy. He had the feeling somebody, or something, was watching his everymove. He dismissed the feeling as a possible thunderstorm, as the weatherman was predicting rain.. But, still, something wasn't right. As he fired up the old John Deere to power the auger, he noticed even the Chickens acted like they sensed something odd. They didn't squak and cluck with the normal anticipation of their morning breakfast. Even the few cows out in the pasture seemed to be looking his way. Joey hurried about his morning chores, and finished early. He had to go to town to get some new spark plugs for his well pump. If the rain didn't come, the cows would need watering..
    By now, it was obvious that every cow in the pasture was lining up along the fence. They all stood silently, staring across the gravel farm road, looking intently at the chicken coups. Joey thought it was strange, but he was sure glad he had repaired the electric fence. It seemed to be the only thing keeping those odd cows at bay.. Town was just a few miles from his farm.. Six and a quarter to be exact, from his driveway to the Co-op where he would stop and get some protein pellets for the dairy cows. He was a quiet man, with a resolve for work that sometimes exceeded his abilities. Many times his wife, Mary, would find him quietly sleeping across the wheel of that old tractor, late into the night. She dared not wake him, knowing all too well that Joey would get right back to work until the job was done. So she would place a blanket on him and let him sleep. She was proud of her husband. He never asked for much, but always gave her anything she wanted. She had asked for some cocoa from the grocery store. He had it written on his list, and she could count on him not to forget to get it. Hot Chocolate was her favorite vise. She enjoyed very much getting up every morning and having her cup of hot chocolate while he drank his coffee. They were simple folks, hard working, and strong willed.
    Mary, too, had thought that the cows were acting odd. She had walked out to the barn to start milking the few dairy cows that they kept for their own supply. She had her favorite cow, Bessie, who would graciously walk right to the milking stool, and stand obediently as she milked. Bessie was her companion, when Joey was gone to town, or working the fields. She would tell Bessie everything. Bessie, not one for much comment, would look at Mary with those understanding brown eyes, and moo softly in agreement with everything she said. This morning, Bessie seemed uneasy. She walked up as she always would, but didn't give her normal morning Moo. "What's wrong, Bessie?" Mary quipped. Bessie, nodded reassuringly, and proceded to allow her treasured friend to milk swollen udder. You just can't break up old friends. Soon, though, the two of them would find out just how strong that friendship bond was. Something was amiss at the Truegrass Farm, and it smelled like bad Chicken..
    I fish for a living, but I have to work for money...

  12. #87
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    Miss Kitty leaned her head back against the cold metal bulkhead of the C-17 Globemaster transport as it roared across the early morning sky. Across the country a clueless populace began to rise...some, like the Truegrasses, were already hard at work. But none of them knew the terrible events that were about to unfold. For Miss Kitty, there were so many questions still unanswered....Why had her father re-enlisted? What was the meaning of the curious activities being reported at the Truegrass farm? And most importantly, is there nothing better to do in Hamilton, Mississippi than spend untold hours crafting creative web forum postings? I mean really, don't they have a bowling alley or a mall or something?

    Miss Kitty did not ponder these questions for long, because the transport was now nearing the drop zone. She performed a final check of her chute and gear, preparing for the HALO drop. She looked around the dimly lit interior of the cavernous aircraft....Ninety-six pairs of feline eyes shone through the gloom....her assault team was ready. They were less than six minutes away from their target, a pasture one click north of the Truegrass farm.

    Had the earth cows of the Truegrass farm been aware of the approach of the Globemaster, they wouldn't have known what to make of it. Of course, this is a pretty common state of mind for your average dumbed-down earth cow. Anything that doesn't involve 1) eating, 2) insemination, or 3) being milked, just doesn't register with them. Thus, as Miss Kitty's airborne force approached, they continued to stare at chicken coop, still unsure which of the three options above it held in store for them. Meanwhile.......
    Chief Dwayne LeBlanc
    Paincourtville Volunteer Fire Department
    Paincourtville, LA

    "I have a dream. It's not a big dream, it's just a little dream. My dream and I hope you don't find this too crazy is that I would like the people of this community to feel that if, God forbid, there were a fire, calling the fire department would actually be a wise thing to do. You can't have people, if their houses are burning down, saying, 'Whatever you do, don't call the fire department!' That would be bad."
    C.D. Bales, "Roxanne"

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    .....in his underground lair; Aquaman was receiving an urgent message from his fishy friends.....

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    **Post-It Note: "Is there anything better to do in Hamilton, Mississippi?" Probably as much as there is (or NOT) to do in Hamilton, Ontario..... **

    AND NOW BACK TO OUR REGULAR SCHEDULED STORY....

    ...BEEEEEPPPP...DEEEE...DDDEEE...BBEEEE.... DDDAAAAHHHH...DDEEEEE... This just in from the Fishy Friends..... The Canary is in the dog house. The Canary is in the dog house. The Moon split with the mouse. The Moon split with the mouse.

    Translated that means..................................
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

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    Question

    (Aside from the story.. I guess I could go up to the one traffic light, and watch the cars go by... Now you know why I go fishing so much..

    Somewhere, in the NorthEast Corner of MS, rhvfd1214 pushes back from his keyboard. Scratches his head, takes a sip of coffee, and pulls away from a thread for awhile.. He begins to contemplate life, and his experiences.. Then he gets into his pickup truck, and drives up to the traffic light. The light is red, and there is an oncomming truck.. He guns the motor, laughing hysterically.. Maybe next time he will take the transmission out of park....
    I fish for a living, but I have to work for money...

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    OK. Now that right there was funny! But only because I grew up in a place that was not much different, so its a sympathetic laugh.
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

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    Damn, he thought. I should of looked both ways before I hit the gas. Entering into the intersection the other truck did not see him. The crash came without warning. The truck hit with the same impact as a locomotive. Broken glass was everywhere. Bystanders approached yelling for someone to call for help. The first bystander to arrive at the scene of the accident yelled to another bystander, "this burrito truck never seen the other vehicle."

    The sky started to oscillate a green hue. By now all the bystanders who witnessed the accident focused their attention towards the burrito truck and then quickly looked into the sky where they all saw at once...Oh my God, it couldn't be but surely it was........

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    Surely, it was a C-17 transport plane dropping cats in parachutes.. The gathered crowd forgot all about the wreck.. Mass Hysteria was developing..
    Meanwhile back at the Truegrass farm, Mary stood up from her normal milking chores. Bessie seemed aggitated. "Bessie, my dear, what's the matter with you?" Mary was puzzled by her, but Bessie kept looking up, and nudging her with her head. "Bessie, settle down, you're going to knock me down." But, before Mary had a chance to move, Bessie had pushed her to the hay covered ground. Bessie was still looking upward into the rafters of the barn. Mary, startled, looked up in amazement to see a Chicken drop down from the roof. This didn't look like one of theirs. This Chicken was wearing stainless steel spurs and other assorted fighting gear. Poor Bessie was being cut and gouged by this killer chicken, and Mary lay their under the protection of her Bovine friend.. Bessie was in agony as the chicken repeatedly sunk the spurs into her back..spurs that were meant for Mary. From out of nowhere a single shot from a gun lead the report that killed the evil chicken. Mary thought out loud, "Joey? Thank God!" but when she looked up, her eyes beheld the outline of a cat holding a rifle. Miss Kitty quickly took inventory of the situation and lowered her aim to that of the Cow. Mary, still horrified by the attack, but grateful that the chicken was dead, screamed in protest of this cat with the gun. "Please spare my dear Bessie, for she has only protected me!!!" Miss Kitty, realizing that Bessie, now bleeding and moaning, was not one of the attacking cows, lowered her rifle, and spoke to the bewildered human. "Maam, we are here to help." Mary, still in shock by all that had just occured, fell to the floor. It was obvious for all that this commotion was too much for her. Miss Kitty, now with the help Bessie, pulled Mary up to the farm house. A quick look in the chicken coup revealed that all of the Truegrass chickens had left the coup for parts unknown. Throughout the countryside, the sounds of hissing cats and rifle fire filled the once quiet air. Joey, who had just picked up a few donuts to go with Mary's hot Cocoa, was returning from town. His eyes were filled with horrow when he saw a giant hole in the fence, and all but one cow gone. There were dead chickens strewn along the outskirts of town. He could only come to the conclusion that perhaps a tornado had hit his farm, but yet, the rain still hadn't come.. As he pulled up to the house, Mary was just awakening from her unexpected nap. Miss Kitty was purring beside her. It would be an interesting talk for these people when she awoke..
    I fish for a living, but I have to work for money...

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    Red face

    (p.s. After a quick drive around town, I thought about it, and, NO, there really isn't anything better to do in Hamilton..)
    I fish for a living, but I have to work for money...

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    Quote Originally Posted by rhvfd1214 View Post
    (p.s. After a quick drive around town, I thought about it, and, NO, there really isn't anything better to do in Hamilton..)
    At least its bigger than Malahat. All we have there is a general store/gas station/post office and a major highway passing through. Doesn't even rate high enough to have ONE traffic light. But we do have one of the best scenic views of the Saanich Inlet and Penninsula, as well Mount Baker to the east. (if you can figure out which of the seven unofficial "Lookouts" is the right one... there is only ONE official lookout eheheheee)

    Meanwhile Miss Kitty knew that she has some explaining to do, primarily how it is that a cat can speak to humans in the first place..........
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

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    The first mate reported, "Captain, I think we found Miss Kitty." The Penguin Captain focused his attention to the first mate and said, "I knew that the homing device we put on her after her fight with the Turkey drones would bring her home." "Awaiting your orders, Captain" added the first mate. The Captain's eyes scanned the room without showing any emotion.

    The Cows could easily be in this sector, the Captain thought to himself. I must do this right the first time because I might only get one chance to send this message to Miss Kitty. The good time memories of Miss Kitty fogging his thoughts. "Helmsman, steady." the Captain ordered. "All bodies to stations and report" as activity filled the ship. "First mate, do you still have a signal?"
    "Yes, Captain" the first mate replied. "Subaudible translucent reflector ready?" "Yes Benard, I mean Captain" stated the second in command. "On my order, WAIT!" the Captain shouted after seeing the flashing alarm, lighting on his console. "All crew, now hear this..COWS approaching, arm weapons" the Captain reported before ......

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    Joey passed by his mailbox, and, was relieved to see the farmhouse still standing. His concern about a tornado faded away. As he opened the door to his pickup, and pulled out the sack of groceries for Mary, he thought it odd that Bessie was out of the barn standing beside the front porch. He walked to the front steps, and that is where he noticed the cat sitting beside Mary, who was slumped over on the porch swing. He put the bag of groceries down and quickly went to Mary's side. "Mary? Mary? Are you all right?" Mary was still dazed by the events in the barn. Neither human seemed to notice that the strange cat was wearing a leather vest and matching leather collar. Miss Kitty flipped on the universal translator that was embedded into the collar and began to speak. "Human, do not be afraid." The words were clear and loud. Joey spun around looking for the source, only to find a cat standing beside him. "Who's there?" came his puzzled reply. Now, Joey wasn't one to be spooked easily, but with Mary laying their with her eyes wide open, but not responding, he was understandably on guard.. Mary sat straight up, after realizing Joey was beside her. "Joey," she sputtered, "the cat...the cat saved Bessie.." Her words were hard to come by, but she continued, "a chicken, the barn, attacked, cat, killed, all safe now.." Joey was more confused now than ever. "Mary, what the devil has gotten into you?" Mary was more collected in her thoughts now and started over. "Joey, I was in the barn with Bessie when Bessie knocked me down, then, a chicken dropped from the rafters and flogged poor Bessie on the head. It was hurting my poor Bessie, when from out of nowhere somebody shot the bird. I think it was this cat?!?" Mary was puzzled by her own comments, but it was all she could remember. That is when Miss Kitty began to tell her story. "Joey? Is that your human name?" Miss Kitty asked while Joey, silently nodded in shock. "I was sent to protect you humans from the cow and chicken alliance. Your farm was the selected landing zone, and also the first wave of chicken attacks. Your female mate was being attacked by the evil chickens when your Earth cow got in its way." Miss Kitty was talking in a "Matter of Fact" tone that left no room for questions. Joey sat down on the porch, and took off his green John Deere hat. For a moment, this simple man was speechless, and without emotion. He began to cry into his hands. "Daddy said that this day would come. I always thought it was just a fantasy story to keep me from playing out in the barns, but.. but..." Mary was now fully alert, "Joey," she asked, "what are you talking about?" Joey's simple demeanor suddenly became serious. "When I was a little kid," Joey began, "my daddy would tell me stories that his grandpappy had told him about how chickens would one day try to take over the world. He said to always be mindfull of how you treated the cows, but to be especially cautious of the chickens. They are evil creatures with simple minds. Daddy would tell stories about a great battle when the cows would unite with the chickens and try to take over the Earth. Mary? It must be true.." Joey was in shock by his own words. He pointed at Miss Kitty, "You...how do you talk??" Miss Kitty simply pointed at the collar and said, "I was given this communicator by the Penguin Defenders." Joey's eyes got bigger. "My Daddy would tell stories about Penguins fighting the chickens! He said to never underestimate a penguin!!" Joey's mind was filled with all the images of the stories of his childhood. So many nights his daddy would tell him about a war that happened hundreds of years ago when man and penguin fought off a great wave of Chicken attacks. It was almost laughable, but his daddy was so serious, and made it sound so real.. Was it all true?? Joey knew.... It had to be..
    Miss Kitty was growing impatient with Joey's talk. Simple humans, she thought, always wanting to get so detailed.. "It's time to go," Miss Kitty said. Joey stood straight up, "Cat, we will help, what should we do?" Miss Kitty was annoyed at being called cat. She hissed, and demanded, "First and foremost, my name to you is Miss Kitty... she drew back a sharp claw and pointed at Bessie. "Can we trust that Bovine?" Mary spoke up, "What do you want with my dear Bessie?" Miss Kitty replied, "We need a contact with the cows to see where they are planning to regroup on Earth." Mary was confident her friend would help. "Bessie, Miss Kitty needs your help." Mary said this with the wonderment of a child, almost unbelieving what came out of her mouth. Bessie just knodded in agreement, still scratched and bleeding from her run in with the chicken.
    I fish for a living, but I have to work for money...

  23. #98
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    Aquaman was growing restless in his bed. He just couldn't get the urgent message out of his mind. The initial interpetation must have been incorrect. Why else would it have been so urgent? Suddenly, he sat straight up in his waterbed... "The Chicken Pot Pies are ready in the Oven.." It had to be wrong. At first Aquaman thought it was a joke from the dolphins. He wandered down the hallway to the computer room to look at the message again. He read it out loud, "The Canary is in the dog house, the Moon split with the mouse.." It was so easy, how did he miss the connection. What he thought was a joke about supper, became clear. Canary=Chicken, doghouse=plot, Moon=Cows, and split with mouse= working together.. "Hmmm," thought Aquaman, "I think I get it now. OH MY! This cannot be good..." He rethought the code, and then it became clear.. "It isn't the Chicken Pot pies are ready in the oven.., its got to mean 'the Chickens plot ties with the bovine!" Alas, Aquaman had gotten the true message. "This cannot be good," he thought outloud. "The chickens must be plotting revenge with the Cows, and their numbers would be almost impossible to overcome.. I must send my fishy friends to help suppress the Cows.." So, armed with the bad news, now so easily apparent, Aquaman summoned his friends from the deep. "All walking sea urchins, your song is needed to fight the Cow uprising on the dry Earth. Please respond to the Penguin Defender command ship." "There," thought Aquaman, "my job is complete, for I have done all I know to do to help with the cause..."
    Meanwhile, the unlikely grouping of Miss Kitty, Joey and Mary Truegrass, and the faithful cow, Bessie, joined forces together and loaded into Joey's pickup truck. At Miss Kitty's request, Joey took every gun and round of ammunition from his house. It was War, and they knew it. The rules were simple, see a chicken, kill a chicken.... Their goal was to meet up with other Feline Infantry Paratroopers and secure the town to set up a base of operations directly in the center of the Cows target zone. If they could slow the chicken offensive, then the IGBLF would be less likely to effectively merge with the Earth Cows, thus reducing the numbers that would be battle ready. Miss Kitty sat quietly in the middle of the truck seat, loading her reserve ammo clips. She knew she would need them. She wished she had more. The mood was somber as Joey drove down the once familar county road. There were bloody feathers at every farmhouse. It was a grizzly sight, neighbors flogged to death. "Those D@mn Birds!!" It was all Joey could do to keep the truck between the ditches, his anger bellowed within him. After all these years of raising chickens to sell eggs, HOW COULD THEY??? His anger intensified. He was ready to get EVEN... Now, this simple farmer was MAD... Nobody in the cab of the truck even flinched as Joey ran down a stray chicken that had fallen behind the evil flock. "Good" he thought to himself. "Another S.O.B. (stupid old bird) down..."
    I fish for a living, but I have to work for money...

  24. #99
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    Anyone else notice that the originator of this thread has become MIA besides me? I wonder if the chickens or the Cowes got to her?
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

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    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

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  25. #100
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    Quote Originally Posted by rhvfd1214 View Post
    He was ready to get EVEN... Now, this simple farmer was MAD... Nobody in the cab of the truck even flinched as Joey ran down a stray chicken that had fallen behind the evil flock. "Good" he thought to himself. "Another S.O.B. (stupid old bird) down..."
    Joey and his newfound and albeit unlikely friends in the truck barreled down the road looking for any chicken they could find to run down. Everybody enjoyed the satisfying *crunch* when a laggard bird could be caught under the wheels of the careening truck.
    As they came around a particularly sharp bend Joey had to slam the brakes down on the truck and skid sideways to a halt. A sizeable group of PETA members had blocked the road with burning tires, fallen trees and old cars. Joey could not believe this....here was a group of people waving signs and chanting pro-chicken rhymes. "Hey ho, mans got to go!" and "Save wildlife - kill a farmer - support the chicks - support the brahmas!"

    These people had made a conscious decision to side with the cows and chickens against the rest of humanity! Killing chickens was one thing but what was Joey supposed to do about these humans who had decided to ally themselves with the murderous animals?

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