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  1. #61
    Forum Member rhvfd1214's Avatar
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    but then,
    Miss Kitty, who had just bagged her squirrel breakfast, also picked up the subaudible message.. Alas, she wouldn't be alone in her fight to preserve her favorite meal! But that also meant she had to convence the Penguins and Turkeys that she was on their side.. Would they beleive that? Cats and Birds haven't had the best working relationship in the past. She thought it would at least be worth a try.
    As she stealthly made her way through the forrest back to her secret den, she was especially alert. She was looking for signs of a meeting of the local Turkey populations. Stop! Wait! Yes.... That was.. Gobbling, to the West.. Slowly she crept towards the muffled sounds. Peering over a low ridge while being hidden by a fallen pine log, she could see the meeting taking place. The Turkeys were discussing the information.... "What we need is a liasion to approach the humans. Somebody needs to inform them of what the Cows have planned. gobble, gobble, It cannot be good for our planet if the Cows take dominace over the land. The humans have lived in a fairy tale world of their own self importance, and will reject any approach that isn't direct, to the point, and loaded with some sort of evidence that proves we are in serious danger." With his best strutting, the Turkey commander was trying to talk himself and his flock into the fury he knew they needed to confront the Humans. His eyes sparkled with memories of past battles... This old General longed for the days of his youth, when he would charge spurs first into battle.. In the midst of his speach, a reflection in the woods caught his keen eye.. "Who goes there???!! Show yourself, or face the flogging squad!!"

    Miss Kitty knew she had been spotted, and her combat training told her she was outnumbered. Her mind raced at what she should do, all the while scolding herself for not paying more attention in her Cat Sniper classes.. She slowly raised her head, and lowered her tail into the submittal posture. She stepped out from behind her hiding place and walked towards the flock.
    "General, sir, I do not mean to interrupt your speech. I overheard the subaudible warning, and followed the sounds to your meeting." The General, now very suspicious because of the Cats seductive voice, demanded "What is your purpose for spying on us, Turkeys, surround this prisoner! Again, CAT, What is your purpose!?!" Miss Kitty thought long before speaking.. "General, I have seen the Cows from my den. I've spotted their ship on my telescope several nights ago, and I've been trying to decide what I can do to preserve myself and my lifestyle." Miss Kitty continued, "I know ways to talk to the humans, and would be willing to try to communicate with them, but I do not know how to do it by myself. I admit, I am a carnivor, but I am not a bird eater.. Please give me a chance to prove myself. I am a warrior, true, but I have no army to serve. General, Please let me try."
    After hearing all this, the General was very unimpressed.. "Miss Kitty, how can we trust your kind? You say you want to help, but what garantee do we have that your instincts will not cause you to turn on us? Mrs. Kitty, we may be bird brains, but we aren't stupid."

    Miss Kitty replied,
    I fish for a living, but I have to work for money...


  2. #62
    Forum Member 77MackCF's Avatar
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    "Die General!" and Kitty pulled out her knife and cut off the general's neck. The turkeys then attacked her and....

  3. #63
    Forum Member rhvfd1214's Avatar
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    and..

    all hope seemed lost. It looked like the Cows would find no resistance in their quest to destroy Earth.
    Meanwhile, the Cows decided to do a quick scan of the Primary landing zone for their first wave of Bovine Commando Forces, or MOOS, which stands for Military Operations Outside of Stalls. The poor operator at the controls of the Terra Scanner didn't know what to make of the sounds, for unbeknownst to him, he had zeroed in on the incessant crys of a sea urchin standing on a stage. Within a milisecond the lowly Private's Cow brain had melted into a stew of mush. His limp body fell to the floor at the base of the panel. His surrounding mates stammered over to assist him, but they too became victims of the sounds that were now being transmitted through the Cow's ship's intercom. It was a cruel act of fate, for the falling Private's tail had inadvertently brushed across the transfer switch as he dropped to his doom causing the Terra Scanner's reception to be put on the ships main information circuit. Cows were dropping all over the ship. More than ninety percent had succombed to this horrible death before a few Cows had managed to switch off the scanner. The few fortunate deck hands that had ear protection on at the flight deck, but now, what would they do??? How did this massacre happen??? They would never find out exactly what that brain mushing sound was.
    Somewhere, off the coast of South America, in the Straits of Magellan, on an uncharted isle, a sea urchin shakes a flipper of a Penguin...

    But then...
    Last edited by rhvfd1214; 03-21-2008 at 11:22 PM.
    I fish for a living, but I have to work for money...

  4. #64
    MembersZone Subscriber dmleblanc's Avatar
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    ...some of the surviving members of the bovine crew managed to bail out of the now-stricken craft, parachuting down safely (or so they believed) to the Earth's surface. Seeking the opportunity to anhialate as many humans as possible, they were overjoyed to find a large gathering of the offensive bipeds just below them....they were gathered together by the thousands, some sort of ritualistic gathering was in progress, perhaps a sporting event of some kind....steering their 'chutes toward the teeming crowd, they alit in the very throngs of the enemy. Unfortunately, these humans never missed an opportunity to use the cows for their own nefarious and greedy purposes...the whole event was filmed live and later, with clever editing and use of computer generated imagery, was made into a Chick-Fil-A commercial.....

    Meanwhile, off the coast of South America.....
    Last edited by dmleblanc; 03-22-2008 at 01:34 PM.
    Chief Dwayne LeBlanc
    Paincourtville Volunteer Fire Department
    Paincourtville, LA

    "I have a dream. It's not a big dream, it's just a little dream. My dream — and I hope you don't find this too crazy — is that I would like the people of this community to feel that if, God forbid, there were a fire, calling the fire department would actually be a wise thing to do. You can't have people, if their houses are burning down, saying, 'Whatever you do, don't call the fire department!' That would be bad."
    — C.D. Bales, "Roxanne"

  5. #65
    MembersZone Subscriber MalahatTwo7's Avatar
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    ... the sea urchin and the penguin were setting up with their buddies to have the biggest beach part bash that was ever seen in those southern parts, to celebrate....
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

  6. #66
    Forum Member rhvfd1214's Avatar
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    to celebrate a perceived victory against the cows.

    While, on a nearby ship, in the medical galley, Miss Kitty awakes. Struggling in her bandages, she spies a....a Penguin... "What happened, and What the He77 are you doing with me??" she demanded.. A penguin, dressed in medical scrubbs walks over to her, and addresses her, "Miss Kitty, we found you in the woods. You have been to battle with an entire flock of Turkey drones. You destroyed all of the flock, but were overwhelmed by your injuries. We have brought you aboard our ship by order of our Captain." Suddenly, a Penguin walks into the sick bay wearing a Captain's hat. The nurse penguin snaps to attention, and salutes, to which the Captain replies "At ease, nurse." Turning to Miss Kitty he replies, "I've never seen a cat that could take out a whole flock of mechanical Turkey drones. Miss Kitty, it's been a long time. How are you doing?" Her ears couldn't believe what she heard.. "Benard? Is that you? Thank God!" The relief in her voice was evident. In her eyes was the sparkle of the recognition of a friend that hasn't been seen for years. "Bernard, it's been a long time," she replied. "Yes, Miss Kitty, it has been a long time. It's good to see you again!" Bernard replied, with a much softer tone to his authoritive voice. "I've missed you Miss Kitty" he said, his eyes gleaming with the memories of years gone by. Long and lonely years spent wondering and worrying about this one time companion of his. The years were full of accomplishments, but finding Miss Kitty was now the highlight of his life, for once they were lovers. Battles had pulled them apart, but now fate had brought them together again.

    "Captain," said the first mate, "We've got a new problem!" With that, Captain Benard turned toward the door, "Miss Kitty, rest now, I'll come back to see you in a little while." She nodded in agreement, too tired to continue speaking. "Now, mate, what is the problem that causes you to interrupt me?" demanded the Captain..

    "Captain," he said, "It's the Cows, they are regrouping, and we fear they have more allies than we had anticipated! This appears to be only the beginning, Captain.."
    Last edited by rhvfd1214; 03-25-2008 at 08:53 AM.
    I fish for a living, but I have to work for money...

  7. #67
    Forum Member firecat1's Avatar
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    Ms. Kitty lies there in sickbay thinking...."if only I could get word to the other felines; I know they don't know what's going on and they won't help unless the message comes in person from one of us. I've got to get a transport and get to base". Struggling up from the rack, pulling off the sling as she went, she headed for the door. The nurse tried to stop her but Ms. Kitty politely hissed at her to back away, that she was going to talk to the captain.

    The penguin nurse had enough sense to back away and Ms. Kitty headed for the bridge where her old friend was in deep conversation with the 1st mate. Not caring that she was interrupting, Ms. Kitty demanded a transport. When Bernard refused, saying she was too injured to go, she said "you know I'll get the transport with or without your help so you might as well give me one of those high-velocity skidoos I know you have around here somewhere". Knowing from past experience that, once her mind was set, there was almost no changing it, the captain said......"

  8. #68
    MembersZone Subscriber dmleblanc's Avatar
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    ...the captain said, with a shrug of his shoulders, "I know better than to think that I can stop you, Miss Kitty....You know, as do I, what you have to do." Miss Kitty paused and gave Bernard a gentle kiss on the cheek as she turned to go. "Au revoir, Miss Kitty...." whispered Bernard as she hurried from the bridge.

    The transport was provided as per the Captain's orders, and soon Miss Kitty was racing northward on the cold Antarctic sea. She noted with apprehension the penguin attack fleet, now boarding the landing crafts, armed to the teeth or beaks or whatever it might be that penguins are armed to. They waddled grimly, if such a thing is possible, up the gangways of the assault boats. Miss Kitty burrowed deeper into the warm fur lining of her custom leather flight jacket, a special gift from the captain himself, chuckling softly to herself at the subtle irony of going forth to battle cows in a leather jacket. In a short time she was nearing the coast of Argentina. Then, gradually on the horizon, there appeared......
    Chief Dwayne LeBlanc
    Paincourtville Volunteer Fire Department
    Paincourtville, LA

    "I have a dream. It's not a big dream, it's just a little dream. My dream — and I hope you don't find this too crazy — is that I would like the people of this community to feel that if, God forbid, there were a fire, calling the fire department would actually be a wise thing to do. You can't have people, if their houses are burning down, saying, 'Whatever you do, don't call the fire department!' That would be bad."
    — C.D. Bales, "Roxanne"

  9. #69
    Forum Member rhvfd1214's Avatar
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    there appeared a Feline vessel. Miss Kitty's instincts had led her back to her command.

    Meanwhile, aboard the Cow's mothership, the cows were reorganizing. The entire Cow command was adjusted to account for the cows lost to the evil urchin singing noise. A new attack strategy was being formulated among the surviving cowmanders. Suddenly a new report surfaced among the recon team. Their mechanical turkey command drones were non responsive. The entire landing flock had lost contact with the Cow controllers at about the same time the error with the urchin had occurred. Frantically, they tried to establish contact, but to no avail. Somehow, somebody had discovered the drones. Surely by now the humans knew about their impending attack... Now it was go time. They had to scramble their attack squads before the humans had time to prepare. Some of the Cows had attempted suicide by jumping to their doom from some of the attack ships, only to be captured by the humans, but there were still several thousand attack ships waiting for the word to attack.
    The Cows sent a message to earth via their established Chick-Fil-A network. "Cows of Earth, Charge your human Captors, Trample your Masters, and Flatten the Fences... We are comming, and we bring VENGENCE with us.. Now, for years, the cows of Earth had grown accustomed to the humans providing for their well being, and all they had to do in return was ride a truck to glory. Upon hearing this charge, they were overun with confusion. The Earth raised cows didn't know where they were hearing these instructions, so they ignored them, like good Earth cows would do, and continued grazing in their pastures, and eating of the food the humans had provided. However, the Chickens of Earth, tired from years of being described as dumb animals, also heard the message. This was their chance to break free from their image of being a lower life form. The Chicken Alliance was formed quickly, and a message was scrambled and sent to the Cow's Mothership. In the message, the Chickens pledged:
    I fish for a living, but I have to work for money...

  10. #70
    Forum Member firecat1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rhvfd1214 View Post
    In the message, the Chickens pledged:
    ".............NO MORE PECKERS AND LIPS!............um....er..... uh oh..........we mean NO MORE MORE WHERE'S THE BEEF?"

  11. #71
    MembersZone Subscriber MalahatTwo7's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by firecat1 View Post
    ".............NO MORE PECKERS AND LIPS!............um....er..... uh oh..........we mean NO MORE MORE WHERE'S THE BEEF?"
    EERRRR.... UUUMMM.... AAAAHHH... YYYYAAAA...... Meanwhile back at the ranch, relations of Miss Kitty were in the ballroom. There was much flowing of GOOD spirits (and other things) and everyone was trying to be Mary, but then they all jumped for Joy when the newcomer entered.......
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

  12. #72
    Forum Member rhvfd1214's Avatar
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    The newcomer had arrived under a tremendous security detail. Without stopping for a drink, the leader of this detail went straight to Miss Kitty. "Benard!" She exclaimed with great delight, as it was obvious the liquid spirits had eased the pains from her wounds. "Miss Kitty, I don't have much time," Benard offered. "We have to prepare for the new threats from the Cows.. Our recon team that has been monitoring the Cow's mothership has picked up a new response to the Cows. It seems that a rogue band of Chickens have pledged some sort of alliance to the Cow Command in return for the end of the Chicken Bashing that the Earth Cows have been doing for years. Together they will band together and destroy the Human food network, causing global destruction and hunger." Benard's concerned eyes drilled into Miss Kitty's heart. He was such a strong leader, for a Penguin, and his concern for the Human's well being was to be admired. Miss Kitty, still relishing her return, now dancing with Benard as they talked, purred beside him. She had missed his strong presence, and affirmative demeanor. She truely loved him, and would follow him through He77 and high water to spend more time with him. Her eyes were glossy as she remembered the first time they met...
    It had been almost ten years ago, when she was just a kitten in the Feline Infantry. She was deployed to an island just off of the Chinese mainland where an operation was underway to kill a minor Rat infestation. Her platoon had been pinned down and called for backup. From out of nowhere, this mild mannered Penguin, popped up on shore and waddled aimlessly towards the Rat's bunker. The Rat commander dismissed the Penguin because of it's unweildy appearance. That is when the penguin, with the quickness of a Japanese Ninja, jumped into the Rat bunker and sliced the rats into millions of pieces with a sword that had been hidden behind his back. In the matter of seconds, he had singlehandedly killed over ten rats, and eliminated the threat. The cats of Miss Kitty's platoon were impressed, to say the least. Miss Kitty, especially. That evening, they shared a mug of beer and celebrated the accomplishment of the mission. Miss Kitty was young and impressionable, and she tried to make advancement upon this Penguin. Benard was a gentleman and refused to take advantage of her, thereby earning her respect and loyalty for years to come. Throughout the next two years, their respective services would aid each other on countless missions, and while Miss Kitty slowly began to develope into the Ultimate Warrior that she is, Benard was always at her side to bail her out of trouble. He proved himself to her several times, and somehow, stole her heart and affection along the way. They were destined to belong to each other, no matter how unusual the pairing was..
    "Miss Kitty? I've got to return to my ship.." Benard's voice was calm and comforting, but the words were like a dagger to her heart. "We've got to discuss the tactical preparations that must be made to combat the Cows offensive. Please, rest for a while, and I will see you soon." Miss Kitty didn't want to let Benard go, but she understood what was at stake. Her heart pounded with the excitement of a new mission, and being able to work beside Benard. "Benard," she said, "I want to come with you.." He stopped her in mid-sentence. "Miss Kitty, you have the true passion of a hero, but you must be at 100% before we face the cows." His words didn't make sense to her, but she knew that he was covering for her true feelings. He didn't want her to embarrass herself, right here, at the party to celebrate her return to her company. "Miss Kitty," he assured her, "I will see You soon." And, with a wink of his eye, he let his hold on her paw loosen, and returned to his crew, then back to the ship. She longed to go with him, but for now, she understood that she must wait. Soon they would be reunited in battle, much sooner than either one knew...

    The Chickens had begun preparations for the merge to the Cow's command. Under a undisclosed hen house on the outskirts of a North Dakota town, a group of chickens were having a meeting. They had received a coded message from the chicken high command... The message was dire, but full of hope. They all gathered as it was read aloud over the public address.. "Chickens, We Face a time of Change! A new beginning has presented itself. We are on the verge of a changing world.." The message began...
    Last edited by rhvfd1214; 03-30-2008 at 10:36 AM.
    I fish for a living, but I have to work for money...

  13. #73
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    Has anyone seen that squirrel....

  14. #74
    Forum Member volfirie's Avatar
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    Ah yes - that poor squirrel! He moved house, went to live in the good, clean air of the country. Beautiful scenary, plenty of food, and red-mist hunters... Oops! When the local volunteer EMS arrived on-scene, they found...
    "Professional" means your attitude to the job...

    Nullus Anxietas ..... (T Pratchett)

  15. #75
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    a squirrel. We must contact Miss Kitty. Tell her...

  16. #76
    MembersZone Subscriber MalahatTwo7's Avatar
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    ".... Two pee off. These mellons are 0.02 p off the regular price." To which the Squirrel and Miss Kitty replied....
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

  17. #77
    Forum Member rhvfd1214's Avatar
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    Default and the saga continues... :D

    "..et tu Brutus?" Brutus was the only squirrel that Miss Kitty wouldn't kill and eat. She had returned to the countryside as a direct order from the Feline Command. She was supposed to be on a fact finding detail as part of the recon against the Chicken's alliance, but somehow she found her old friend, Brutus. Brutus was a fiesty red fox squirrel that had outwitted Miss Kitty on several occasions. As it is with warriors, a respect was developed between them after years of so called "Cat and mouse/squirrel" games between them. Miss Kitty now depended on Brutus for his wit and stealth. It was happenchance for them to find each other, but she would soon find out that Brutus was searching for her help.
    "Miss Kitty," Brutus proceded, "I've looked high and low for you. I found the disabled turkey drones and have been listening to the traffic on the Earth-net about the Cows. I have information about the Chicken alliance that you might need." His voice was concerned and deliberate. "Miss Kitty, the Chickens are developing a virus to be injected into the eggs that the humans are expected to consume. The virus will cause the humans to lose all bowel control and also cause extreme nausia. They have already began to deploy the virus among the human populations in New Guinea, and other nearby countries." Miss Kitty listened intently as the squirrel offered the information. They were sharing a melon that she had gotten at a local market before she had found Brutus. "Brutus, my old friend," she said, "Thank-you for the information. Once again, you have proved to be a true friend in the fight to preserve the human's well being. Your help will be noted among the Feline Battalions." And, with a shake of paws, the two old warriors departed from the tree they had shared, and went their seperate ways. Miss Kitty had to get a quick message to the Penguins to notify them about the threat..
    I fish for a living, but I have to work for money...

  18. #78
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    but she could not communicate to the Penguins in her usual way. Miss Kitty was beside her self. How could she communicate the danger without compromising the situation. There was only one chance. Miss Kitty must trust..

  19. #79
    MembersZone Subscriber MalahatTwo7's Avatar
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    .... trust the Firefighter Nutcracker from Station 1 to pass the message to the penguins. His plan for transmission was to use his trusty 1 3/4" straight stream smoothbore...................
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

  20. #80
    Forum Member rhvfd1214's Avatar
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    (1 3/4 smoothbore)...which contained a portable G5RV antenna that was rolled out and attached to his amateur radio set that he kept hidden under his cot at the station. After a quick CQ, he made a contact in Bolivia, which helped his collection of QSL cards, but didn't contact a single penguin operative. He switched over to a CW net, and after a few minutes of listening, he was able to send the message to an operator that was stationed in New Guinea. Unbeknowst to the firefighter, though, the operator was actually a Chicken. Chickens cannot talk in English, but they can tap out Morse Code like no tomorrow. The Chicken responded with a message telling the Firefighter that he would relay the message to a Penguin station, but all the while, the Chicken was actually transmitting Miss Kitty's coodinates to the Cow command. She would have company very soon. The Cows developed a plan to capture Miss Kitty, and use her as a hostage to distract the Penguins. It was an evil plan, and they intended to follow through with it. Unfortunately for them, though, Miss Kitty was going to prove herself more elusive than they ever imagined...
    I fish for a living, but I have to work for money...

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