Many years ago, a friend asked me to work with him to craft some ideas about the concept of brotherhood. He was asked to say a few words on the concept at an upcoming ceremony. I was only too glad to share my thoughts on “brotherhood,” because, of course, it’s critical to the fire service.
I am sad to report that far too many people live lives of selfish self-interest. I always have been willing to work to provide a counterbalance to the selfishness. I sure could use some help in this battle.
A sweeping concept
It seems to me that a lot of people run their mouth about something with which they have very little experience. Every time that I hear someone talk about “the Brotherhood,” they do so with bent-up leather helmets, dirty gear and SCBA that rarely sees the inside of a burning building. These folks make it seem as though the only place where we ever get to experience “the Brotherhood” is at fires. Such a narrow view of a grand and glorious concept saddens me. If we do it right, brotherhood becomes a force to guide our very souls. Brotherhood is a 24/7 part of our life. You can’t turn it on and off or share with some folks and not others. You either are a part of the brotherhood, or you are an imposter who dresses in firefighting garb. The all-encompassing nature of brotherhood is one aspect of the fire service that seems to be increasingly overlooked by its members.
Trust me when I say that this is a battle, and it isn’t always a young against the old sort of conflict. It’s about a lack of respect for the proud traditions that carried us this far in our history. It’s about a respect for people, past and present, living and dead. Any time that I witness or experience some place where there is an absence of respect, I feel that I am experiencing an environment that’s totally devoid of any spirit of brotherhood. These are the sorts of fire departments where people can’t make time to attend the wake of a member of a nearby department. These are the places where older members make life very difficult for new members, where people can’t go out of their way to do something for a brother or sister.
A great many people pay lip service to the concept of brotherhood. I have seen tens of thousands of words and reams of paper devoted to it. However, when it comes to living the concept, many people seem to be earning a failing grade in the subject. There’s a lot of “talking the talk” and a woeful absence of “walking the walk.”
There also are those who consider the Brotherhood to be an all-boys club. That is a load of crap. Brotherhood must be a sex-neutral term that refers to the bonding of people who have similar interests. In our case, that interest involves membership in a fire department. My daughter, Katie, told me numerous times that she believes herself to be a part of the brotherhood in the Adelphia, NJ, Fire Company.
Given my frequent firefighting interaction with my daughter, I find this sentiment to be true indeed. We all must learn to show respect to one another and work toward common goals. Nevertheless, I almost can hear certain people mumbling under their breath as they read these words, “Screw the Brotherhood! What’s in it for me?”
My friends, far too many among us are concerned solely with their individual, narrow and selfish view of life. Sad it is to see people so insulated against the needs of others. I believe that it’s critical to understand that there are things that we owe to our fellow travelers in the world of firefighting. Sad indeed are those instances when people leave their fellow firefighters high and dry in times of crisis.
Strengthen the concept
We must show respect to all who battle the common foe: fire. A buddy mentioned to me that he was finding it more difficult to turn out the younger members of his department for wakes and funerals. People would say to him things like, “Why should I go to that funeral? I never knew that person.” That, my friends, is a very egocentric view of life. That person who is being honored gave a certain measure of devotion to the fire service. That, if nothing else, should serve as sufficient reason to attend the wake or funeral. Maybe you don’t know the person, but you owe it to that person to honor the service that was given.
Let me suggest that if you step back and take the wide view, you will discover a brotherhood that binds the brave in every corner of the earth. We must understand that many demands will be made upon us with regard to our need to serve our brothers and sisters in the world of firefighting. When we take upon ourselves the title and position of firefighter, we assume a certain responsibility to all who have gone before us as well as all who will come after us.
Let me suggest things that you can do to strengthen the concept of brotherhood in your life and in the world of firefighting:
- Live a life of integrity; know that your role is no different than any other member of the brotherhood; if you lie, cheat and steal, you diminish everyone who lives within the brotherhood
- Your word is your bond, no ifs, ands or buts about it
- In the early 1600s, Cervantes wrote in Don Quixote, “Honesty is the best policy”; those words of wisdom ring just as true in the here and now
- Display courage when it’s called for, however, don’t be foolish; if you must assume a risk, weigh the merits of the risk and the potential for reward before taking the action; being foolish and being courageous aren’t the same
- Share the good times and the bad; attend the weddings, anniversaries and birthday parties as well as the funerals; visit your friends whether they are well or sick; a friend is a friend in good times and bad
- Be as ready to share what you have as the members of the brotherhood are ready to share with you
- Don’t return evil for evil; like my grandmother used to say, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all”; words once spoken never can be recalled
- Be proud of your role with the brotherhood but don’t be prideful; it’s written in the Book of Proverbs, “Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall”; many people are too proud to ask for help when they need it
- Use good judgment; if something seems stupid to you, don’t do it, because it probably is stupid
- When presented with a challenge, see it through; determination and perseverance are two critical elements in doing your part to help your fellow members of the brotherhood
- Be tactful in your dealings with everyone but particularly with your fellow members of the brotherhood
- Treat each member as you would like yourself to be treated
Nurture the concept
If you’re young, don’t ignore the wisdom of older members. They have spent decades learning things that you yet to have encountered. Listen to the voice of experience.
If you aren’t young, don’t ignore the young, for they are the future of this thing that we call “the Brotherhood.” Welcome them to the fold. Share what you know. Answer their questions. Don’t bust their chops with meaningless gestures of stupidity.
Above all, it’s critical for you to realize that you’re part of something that’s much bigger than any one of us. Each of us who is now in “the Brotherhood” carries the baton of service on behalf of those who went before us. Countless hundreds of thousands of our brothers and sisters made great sacrifices to get us to where we are today. We owe it to them to nurture brotherhood, so there is something to pass on to the next generation.
