One of the best ways to improve retention and engagement at the firehouse might be as simple as being a good friend. People will become more involved when they feel a genuine connection. What better way is there to build that connection than friendship?

Friendship: An active process

Let’s face it, any firehouse can become infected with a toxic environment because of a host of reasons. At the same time, the firehouse also can be a source of fulfillment, which typically resonates in helping the community. However, in a very real way, fulfillment also comes from the bonds of friendship that we make. Some of the deepest friendships that I have made were grown right on the bay floor. In many cases, my level of involvement directly correlated to the richness of friendship that was present at the time.

Building the solidarity of brotherhood and sisterhood in the fire service is more than just being nice to each other. Meaningful connection is built on caring for one another—for our safety, our health, our well-being, our progress and our success. Many friendships come naturally, but to utilize friendship to cultivate organizational culture, friendship should be an active process. Gallup found that having best friends in the workplace actually deepens employees’ sense of ownership with their work (engagement), increases sustainability (retention), helps to navigate changes (resilience) and makes them better at what they do (performance) (“The Increasing Importance of a Best Friend at Work,” Alok Patel & Stephanie Plowman, Aug. 17, 2022). Having authentic friendships in a work-like environment provides social and emotional support that strengthens the connection and engagement to work.

Joel Wong, who is a provost professor of counseling psychology at Indiana University, wrote about four types of genuine friendships in Psychology Today (“Why These 4 Types of Friends Are So Special,” April 27, 2026). For our purposes, I renamed them for clarity and fire service nuance as it relates to seeking genuine friendships and demonstrating the traits that are needed to be a genuine friend to others.

The Hypeman

The Hypeman is a friendship archetype who believes more in the other person than the other person believes in him/herself. These people provide encouragement not just as platitudes but to provide new insights into the other person. For example, “You’re a good writer. You should consider submitting to Firehouse Magazine” and “You have great instincts and an impressive work ethic. Have you considered putting in for an officer position?” These individuals truly “see” the other person.

I transferred to a new fire department about eight years ago and really connected with some of the chief officers despite having little to no confidence that I was any good. After receiving some accolades that I honestly was shocked to receive, I vividly remember my wife telling me that they “see” me and the potential that’s locked inside of me.

Seek out a Hypeman to give you the confidence to explore and uncover your potential and be other people’s Hypeman to give them the encouragement that they need to grow.

The Quartermaster

The Quartermaster is the friend archetype who tailors and personalizes friendship. These people take the time to understand what others like and dislike and then provide individualized expressions of care that are both responsive and generate gratitude. They remember the names of a person’s family members; spend one-on-one time working with another person on an area that person might find to be difficult, such as throwing ladders or stretching a line; or remember how another person likes his/her coffee and grabs some for that person before shift starts.

Quartermasters are outfitters who tailor their support particularly for their friend.

Be a Quartermaster by taking the time to listen to and observe your friends to discover their preferences and proclivities and seek this type of friend to have unique discussions that evolve into high-quality friendships.

The Investigator

The Investigator is the friend archetype who probes beyond just surface discussions. They aren’t “fair-weather friends.” These people ask meaningful and deep questions to understand the true nature of the other person that might not be visible to others. They ask about where the other person grew up and his/her religion or spirituality, fears, anxieties and aspirations.

Investigators are the type of friend who, for example, learns that another person is a Christian and then sends fire-service-inspired Christian social media posts or that a person always wanted to compete in a Firefighter Challenge series and then trains with the person to help to make a dream a reality.

Be an Investigator by asking open-ended and genuine questions and seek out Investigators who take the time to know the full you.

The Strategist

The Strategist is an observer. These people notice when someone is feeling uncomfortable or left out and have the ability to read micro-expressions in others. Beyond that, they put forth the effort to include them and alleviate anxiety. Strategists see when someone is getting frustrated during a drill and pull the individual aside quietly before things erupt to help that person to save face. They notice when the probie is standing off to the side and bring that individual in.

Be a Strategist by reading and not ignoring others and seek Strategists who take the time to notice when things aren’t right and have the compassion to do something about it.

Improve retention through engagement

One critical aspect of improving retention is more meaningful than distributing new department T-shirts or hanging a banner and less expensive than paying volunteers a stipend. Although these things might help to some extent, they don’t quite get to the root of many retention issues.

Being a friend and having a friend at the firehouse can make all of the difference in improving retention. Instead of crossing your fingers and hoping that this happens organically, take the time to deliver or seek out genuine friendship traits from one of four archetypes to actively improve organizational culture and to improve retention through engagement.

Instead of tearing someone down, build that person up. Instead of spreading rumors about someone’s flaws, help the person to fix them.

The volunteer fire service has a retention problem. Let’s allow brotherhood and sisterhood to lead the way to helping to fix it.