I was asked recently to be on a well-known podcast. I went back and forth with the podcaster, and we came up with a date. I was told that more information about my appearance would be provided to me as the date of my appearance got closer.

After getting off of the phone and coming down from the excitement of being asked and booked, it hit me: What the hell was I doing? Why did I believe that I was worth being on this show? Why did the host believe that I would be a good guest? Holy shit! What did I just agree to?!

I came to realize that the reason for my self-doubt relates to probationary firefighters and how the fire service views them. This must change. Senior members must foster the idea that probies can contribute right away.

Fear of intellectual fraud

With those thoughts of self-doubt going through my mind, I texted the host and told him that I was excited and very worried at the same time. He responded that he hears something like that from every person who he books. That really got me to thinking about why that would be. What makes firefighters, who are people who do amazing, dangerous things without thinking, scared of talking about their perspectives and what they do? I spent a bit of time reflecting, listening to podcasts where others talked about their beliefs of being undeserving and remembering conversations that I had with instructors from conferences. The main phrase that kept coming up was imposter syndrome.

The most common definition of imposter syndrome among multiple sources is some version of a psychological or internal experience in which the individual feels self-doubt or fear of intellectual or professional fraud, despite evidence of competence. In other words, people don’t feel that they deserve their accolades and that their success is more a product of luck than ability.

Maybe this is coming up more because I am looking into it, but it seems to be more of an issue in the fire service than in other sectors.

Then and now

I joined the fire service later in life (I was hired full time at the age of 36). I worked in various industries before joining but spent most of my time working for Culligan International and a locally owned franchise as an operations manager. I spoke at regional and national conferences, sales seminars and dealer/owner meetings. Never during that time was I anxious about a talk that I had to give nor to whom I was presenting. I knew that I was asked to talk from my experience and expertise on the subjects and that the attendees were there because they wanted to hear what I had to say. The thought of imposter syndrome never entered my mind.

So, why the shift? Why am I now unable to get the thoughts of “Who do I think I am?” out of my head?

I had the same experience in 2025 when I was asked to speak at the F.O.O.L.S. International convention in West Palm Beach, FL. I was mortified, and that caused me to do some self-sabotage: I didn’t practice and prepare as I know that I should have. When I presented, it went OK but not great. Some people really got some good out of it, but I know that I let it fall flat. I also know that my performance at that conference lost me another speaking event that was on the table. Maybe that’s why I didn’t prepare: to subconsciously lose the other gig.

Regardless of that outcome, this latest invitation really got me to thinking about what’s going on and why imposter syndrome seems to be so prevalent in the fire service. I think back to many one-on-one conversations that I had with national speakers. They all talked to me about some form of imposter syndrome and their nervousness about “being found out” before every talk.

Planting the seeds of doubt

Here is where I’ll bite the bullet and profess my thoughts on the issue and why it’s happening. I’m sure that my ideas will create discomfort and naysayers.

We are the problem. The fire service causes the issue in people who wouldn’t have anything other than just the normal nervous butterflies before public speaking. By this, I specifically mean probation. The fire service plants the seeds of imposter syndrome in every recruit. We initiate the thoughts of inadequacy, nurture the discomfort and grow the doubt through how we treat probationary firefighters.

Think about it: We hire, or attempt to hire, talented men and women. These men and women are predominantly in their early 20s. For quite a few, the fire service is their first real job. Then we send them to academy to learn our trade. Typically, probation is 12 months, although I know that some departments have a pre-academy, academy and a post-academy. We then bring them back and put them on probation, with none of that academy time counting toward the probationary period.

What is the main theme that we teach these promising young recruits? “Don’t think. You’re new, you’re on probation, your opinion doesn’t matter. Don’t look at the TV. Don’t sit in the recliner. Don’t stop cleaning. Don’t stop doing busy work. Above all, don’t even think that you can come up with a better way of doing things. You’re just a probie. You don’t know what you’re doing.”

We follow this up with the double down when they get off of probation. Now, they are the new member. “You must listen to everyone else. You aren’t the senior crewmember. You’re allowed to have an opinion but only down the chain of command. You haven’t been on enough calls. You haven’t been around long enough. You need more time on the job before you will have anything to contribute.”

Why do we treat probationary firefighters this way, and why does it continue for the first year or so after probation? The only real reasons that I can come up with are the tried and true “That’s the way it was for me, so that’s the way it’s going to be for you” or “I was treated that way, so now it’s my turn to be on the other side” or, going back to the old adage, firefighters hate two things: change and the way things are.

‘Can’t wait to dump on them’

I am a parent to three boys, and I know that one of the main promises that I made to myself and to my wife was that I didn’t want to be the same kind of parent as my mother and father were. This is a common theme among almost everyone who I ever talked to who has kids. Why do fire service leaders want the same thing for their fire service kids (probies) that they experienced?

I’m sure most people disliked probation and couldn’t wait to be a “contributing” member of the team. However, the more common thing that I hear is people talking about how they can’t wait to dump on the new probies.

Next generation of leaders

The reason that I was comfortable speaking and expressing thoughts in the private sector was that the bottom line was king. All ideas were welcomed, and individuals’ previous experiences were valued, because these experiences could lead to a different way of doing things that could result in a better bottom line. At the very least, discussions could spark new ideas that took us in different directions that created better results. This is where the fire service can break the cycle.

We must work on changing how we view probation. Yes, probation should be a time when new firefighters learn their job and their position in the fire service, but we must be more caring and compassionate. We must foster the idea that probies can contribute right away. How many examples are there of people saying something that sparks the next great idea or a thought for someone else? Probationary firefighters have the great advantage of not being biased toward what did or didn’t work in the past. They can bring a fresh perspective and potentially think outside of the box enough to come up with a really great concept or to inspire someone else to create a new way.

If we foster this new thought process, we can teach new firefighters that thinking, creating and presenting their ideas can be of great benefit to the fire service. Once that thought takes hold and is developed, we potentially will eliminate the issues of imposter syndrome in the next generation of fire service leaders.