As Firehouse Sees It: A Life Lost Despite the Signs of Suicide

Fifteen years ago, I was on the phone with a friend who was a recently retired fire officer when he said that he was receiving another call from his now-former firehouse and that he’d get back to me. Maybe 15 minutes had passed when he called back. His tone had changed. He seemed shook. Then he shared with me that a member of the company had taken their own life.

Without much hesitation, I said, or maybe questioned, the firefighter’s last name. He paused, said yes, and asked, “How did you know that?” 

I met the firefighter a few years earlier at another firehouse and saw him maybe once a month between the two stations that I visited. When I met him, he had just come off  of probation. When he committed suicide, he was on the job only a few years.

From what I recall, he loved the job and was happy with his life, but I could see some pent up pressure. At both stations, comments were made when he wasn’t around about him “being wound tight” and that he seemed “ready to snap under pressure.” But 15 years ago, that was something that was common place in the fire service—the pressures of the job, the demand to do the daring duties and balancing life were just the norm.

When I woke up the morning after the phone call, I was in disbelief with the realization that many of those who worked him saw those early warning signs and symptoms of suicide but nothing was done. I wondered whether it could have been stopped. I spoke to one of his colleagues from his first firehouse, and that person said that he was asking himself the same thing. The consensus among he and his fellow members was there was nothing that they could have done.

Opportunity

Fast-forward to this year. We’re seeing more public conversation about mental health in the fire service. Although still taboo in places, fortunately, many are asking for help or are open to sharing their stories. At Firehouse, we’ve received many submissions from members who want to tell their story with the hope that other firefighters don’t get into the same place in life.

As we go into the 2025 Safety Stand Down Week—Break the Stigma: Behavioral Health RESET, (June 15–21), it’s important that chiefs have those discussions with their officers and that officers talk with their crews.

As I mentioned in my April editorial, we never really know what’s going on in someone’s life and headspace. Yet, we have moved the needle forward when it comes to seeking assistance when firefighters are comfortable saying they can’t manage their situation and need resources and help. This year’s Stand Down provides the opportunity for those conversations to happen and to raise awareness.

It’s important that Safety Stand Down Week is observed by departments all over the country; it doesn’t matter whether you operate out of a small or large station. The stress of a home can carry itself into the firehouse, and what’s seen on calls easily can carry into the home, perhaps triggered by a child or another family member who reminds of a victim who was once worked with. We must not ignore the topic. It can’t be “something that’s been the norm of the fire service over the decades.”

We must tackle this problem head on to prevent another incident like that unexpected phone call that my friend received 15 years ago. If firefighters are committed to training to save the lives of strangers, they must put equal focus on training and sizing up their department brothers and sisters, because, often, you don’t get that 9-1-1 call to respond to their emergency until it’s too late.