The Importance of Leaders Developing Patience

My friends, I would like to start off this visit with you by issuing a statement of what is obvious to most all of us. For all of us, waiting is a way of life. Let me ask a simple question: How much of your life do you think is spent waiting, in one way or another? I don’t know about you, but it seems like I spend a great deal of my life waiting for one thing or another.

I was interested enough to Google "waiting" to see what I would find. According to research from Great Britain, adults spend about six months of their lives waiting for one thing or another, which works out to about three days a year.

Back in the days when I was commuting to work in the Newark Fire Department, it sure seemed like a lot more. Maybe it was, but I cannot be sure. But trust me when I tell you that as I crept along in traffic on the Garden State Parkway, the hands of the clock seemed to move slowly indeed.

There is another time where waiting can really raise the level of your personal stress. I can recall the times when I arrived at a working fire ahead of my responding units. I don’t know about you, but standing there, knowing what you have, and knowing what you want to do and not having the resources at the ready is tough to do.

Of course the time always came when I heard the sirens and air horns off in the distance. It was never my way to issue orders too soon, however, my heart always swelled with pride as I saw that first-due engine round the corner and proceed up the street dropping their feed line as they went. My friends, I want you to know that I really miss those hectic days of yesteryear. But life moves on.

Here we are twenty years later, and it has been a long time since I had to commute to Newark. It has been a long time since I was the first-due chief at a working fire. However, patience is something which is still necessary in my daily life. Given my physical conditions (too much football and firefighting) I find myself spending a great deal of time waiting in doctor’s and therapist’s offices.

How do I deal with the waiting? I use one of my tried and true methods for passing time. I read books. I love reading books for pleasure. However, since I must spend a great deal of time reading for professional reasons, I try to limit my leisure reading to those times when waiting is an issue, particularly during the many trips to doctor’s offices that I now seem to be making.

What are some of the other times of our lives where waiting serves as a necessary part of what we must do?

• Getting ready to begin a trip
• In a long line at the supermarket
• Waiting to see a client for a consulting job
• Waiting to hear from an organization who is deciding whether to retain my services as a key-note speaker or a seminar presenter
• Waiting for my wife to get home from a late-night meeting on a stormy night
• Waiting for my grandchildren to come over for a visit
• Waiting in the radio room at the Adelphia Fire Station for the units to return from an emergency response

In order to handle all such situations, and any others which present themselves to you, you must become proficient at being patient. What is patience? I have seen it defined by Google as “…the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble or suffering without getting angry or upset.” I am sure that you all have heard at one time or another that patience is a virtue. That is true indeed. I don’t know how anyone could go through life without a certain amount of patience.

What are some things which you can do to become more proficient in developing patience in your lives?

• Make yourself wait
• Stop doing things that aren't important
• Be mindful of the things making you impatient
• Relax and take deep breaths
• Get to know your partner as person
• Accept their flaws
• Let your people come to know you as a person
• Communicate
• Listen
• Allow your people to be themselves, within the requirements of the job
• Find some quiet, non-duty time with your people
• Do not join them in their tantrums

Let me strongly suggest to you that while being patient is difficult, I see it as essential to each of us maintaining our mental and physical well-being. It may be as simple as counting to 10. Zip your lip and don't give a nasty reply to someone who may sincerely deserve one. My advice to you is simple: DO IT!!

Let me suggest that you can be patient while simply putting one foot in front of the other as you move forward through life. My friends, there is no choice.